Bird Poop x2

Today was a gorgeous day. By far the most beautiful day of the year, so far. I think we pretty much skipped spring all together, and headed straight for summer.

So, I headed out - putting a short-sleeved shirt on for the first time this year. I wasn't out for long before I started regretting wearing my jeans, wishing I'd went with the shorts instead.

Anyway - I decided on another "first" of the year. A nice refreshing ice cream, outdoors, enjoying the warm weather. So, there I am - sitting outside at a local McDonald's enjoying an ice cold McFlurry. There is a family seated behind me... a bunch of kids running around playing and they too are enjoying the wonderful weather.

"Boo!"

I continue to enjoy my ice cream.

"Booooo! Whaaaa!"

I turn around to see what is going on. There is this kid chasing some birds (isn't it funny how many birds gather around in places like these? Hoping to capitalize on some spilled food.). I figure - let the kid chase the birds... what do I care? I'm enjoying my first ice cream, and the weather is perfect!

"Stop it!", the mother suddenly hisses at the kid. "Don't chase the birds!"

"I don't like birds. Birds poop everywhere! Booooo!"

"The birds aren't going to poop here", the mom says. The kid is chasing after a bird which whizzes by a little too close to me for comfort. He continues and stops right at my side... and speaks to me sincerely.

"Do you want a bird to poop you on the head?"

"No, I sure don't", I tell the kid.

"Yeah... MOM! See? I hafta chase the birds away!". The kid continues to run after the poor birds, hollering and screaming at them. I'm just thinking - Yeah, keep that up kid and one of those birds WILL poop me on the head!

............

Speaking of bird poop. I'm keeping this short. But the son of a bitching UO over here have indeed completely lost their mind - as I was told by others once they learned I was headed for the dreaded world of unemployment.

So, I had been in there - listing my qualifications, and what kind of jobs I was looking to get. Of course, I put media related jobs at the top of my priority list. This is where I want to be, this is what I once got a degree in. I have been on the wrong track working retail for far too long - I find it reasonable trying to get my job-life back on the right track. I would take retail temporarily, but I really need to get a job in film, television or any other form of production company.

Today, I had a personal meeting at the UO with a schmuck who decided it would be in their best interest that I not be listed for those jobs. Yes, their interest - they don't care about what I want... So I tell the guy:

"How am I supposed to get the job I want if I'm not listed in the database as a candidate for these jobs?"

"Well, you can look for these jobs on your own, if you want. But retail is where we will try to fit you in."

"I don't really want to do retail again. I am hoping that my education will land me a job where I want to be."

"But, you don't have enough experience. To be qualified to apply for these jobs, you need more experience."

"Alright, never mind. List me in that database however you so please. I don't care."

"We need to find you a job as quickly as possible", the guy pauses... "Here is one!". He shows me the computer screen.

Some company who are looking for carpenters and painters - they go to different places all over the country and do contract jobs - apparently.

"Uh... I have no experience in carpentry or painting."

"You listed that you assembled furniture at your last job."

I was dumbfounded... flabbergasted.

"Assembling furniture has got nothing to do with carpentry, and certainly not painting."

"Ok... I'll let you off the hook on that job then."

Yup... this is a normal day at the UO around these parts. I'm obviously experienced enough to apply for a job I would not be capable of doing, because I did something vaguely similar at a recent job - yet I am not qualified to apply for jobs in the field in which I got my education...

...Y'all know where I can get one of those nifty little bombs? The kind that goes BOOM?