December 5, 2007

A Letter to 13 Year Old Me

When it rains, it pours. I've been tagged again.

This time it is actually a quite interesting meme I've been asked to do, courtesy of Tequila Mockingbird. This meme asks me to write a letter to myself at the age of 13. Now, if only I could actually get that letter delivered to me back in 1983 this would be the best thing that ever happened to me...

As is the norm about meme's there are rules. Link to the person who tagged you (see above), do the meme (which in this case is write a letter to a 13 year old you), and tag another 5 people to do the meme.

Now, seriously. I don't know about tagging 5(!) other people. That makes for a lot of meme's you know. 1 person starts, tags 5. These 5 each tag another 5 and then there are 25 doing the meme. They each tag 5 and boom! 125 people have to do the meme. When these 125 follow the rules and in turn tag another 625 people things are beginning to spiral out of control. Shall we calculate how many will be tagged in round 6?

I will propose a different solution at the end of my meme, today. Sorry for not obeying the rules completely ;)

Enough of the rambling... let's write a letter!


Dear 13 Year Old R.E.H.

I know you don't like to listen to other people telling you what to do. But, this is me talking here. Yes, me! As in You Yourself!


Betcha it is. Imagine me having to write this letter, huh? There are a million things I would like to tell you (me?) - some of it good, some of it not so good... well, sorry to say - most of it not so good.

You're not fooling me. I know you're sitting there reading this all smug and know-it-all. I know - I was you, remember. So, cut the bullshit, and for once listen to a responsible adult.

Ok, so listen up. Don't know how far into the 13th year of your life you've gotten, and I can't recall when exactly this thing happened. But, there is this girl you will soon find yourself quite smitten by. Yeah, the blond one. The one who every guy in school wants to kiss. You'll find a couple of years down the line that kissing is not what's on either your or their minds... you have just started to be curious about it... Yes, I'm talking about screwing her, ok. And, just for the record - play your cards right and you'll end up banging her at some point. At least make sure that happens ok, because she's pretty darn good at it.

But. Do not under any circumstances fall in love with her! That's an order. She will end up hurting you like you never thought was humanly possible, ok. Screw her... once or twice... hell, as much as you want - just don't ever let her get to your heart. She'll rip it out and throw it away.

What I just told you is the single most important thing you will ever hear, ok.

There is another really important thing I need you to pay attention to. On New Year's eve as 1988 becomes 1989 - for fuck's sake! Understand that no Pizza place is open after 3 at night, ok. Get a fucking sandwich or whatever out of the fridge at that party you're at - don't fucking get in the car, ok?

This event is likely not to happen anyway if you heed this warning. That cool acting school you want to go to starting in 1987... not worth it. The teacher is a drunk.

Wait! No, you should go anyway - just don't expect anything from school itself. I do want some of the memories from these days - had a fucking blast over there. Lotsa partying and lotsa girls - but do try to take more advantage of it... and never mind that pen-pal girl. She'll just end up cheating on you. If you choose a different path, that is ok too. Just make sure you have the time of your life right then and there, ok. College years do not return - they truly are the best years you will ever experience.

And, dude! Keep on writing. Yeah, I know - you're thinking "what could possibly stop me from doing that? I'll be writing forever!". Well, the blond I told you about will become one of the factors that make you stop if you let her.

But, do make sure to have some time over for sports and exercising as well. Yeah, I know - you think it's lame! Writing is your calling in life and all - but it would really do you some good, and save you a lot of trouble later on in life, ok. Besides, a few years from now you will have found that sports are a lot of fun... only you'll be too old to participate in them at that time. If you start now, maybe you can become a professional baseball player - that's one of the dreams you'll be having later on in life. Sign up with the Braves, if you succeed ok. The Braves rule!

Yeah, yeah... Hollywood is calling. But, you need to understand that whatever you decide takes a lot of hard work and determination. It's not going to happen as easy as you think. Get that through your thick skull once and for all. Work! Work! Work!

Don't wanna?

Let me tell you where I am now. I have a small apartment where I live all by myself (sounds great to a 13 year old, doesn't it?). I work at a furniture store for damn near minimum wage, and can barely afford to do something fun every once in a while. The one movie I have made to date probably qualifies as the worst film ever shot (and has thankfully been seen by very few). There is this documentary that turned out quite well - though you lost your rights to that one. The dream is still there kid - I just didn't put in the effort to give me a chance of reaching that goal. Change that for me, will you? If we don't succeed, we'll at least feel better about ourselves because... well, dammit! We tried! We did our best, didn't we?

One more thing... nicotine... don't ever fucking start ok - one year from now you're gonna think it's the coolest thing in the world to be smokin' and what not... it's not cool - it's just plain and simple stupid, ok?

Now, good luck, kid. Mostly you'll turn out ok - but do think seriously about what I wrote here, and our life will probably be just perfect!

Fuck! Can't let this opportunity pass me by. Play the lottery on Dec. 5th 2007. If you haven't earned your millions yet... this is your chance. The numbers for that day will be [this part has been removed by the author to protect his younger self from you guys playing his numbers]. Don't tell anyone, ok?

The Future You


I'll just have to send this through the time-portal as is. There are about a thousand more things I'd like to tell myself, but this'll have to do. This meme is pretty much like writing an actual letter for me. First of all - I don't know when to stop. Second - I am never satisfied with what I wrote. Third - I always feel I have forgotten something of the utmost importance.

So... it is time to reveal my revolutionary idea on "tagging" others to do this meme. Below I will list the numbers 1 through 5. To begin with, these spaces will be empty...

Now! YOU decide if you want to be tagged with this meme. If you want to do it - let me know with a comment here, and then I'll update this page with your blog name and a link to it - and you will then have been officially tagged.

I encourage you to do it... this one is quite different and fun - although a bit difficult.

Tagging Volunteers:

1. Sparkling Red at No More Casual Nonchalance
2. Mary P. Jones at A Room Of Mama's Own
3. Emmeline at Why The Sky Is Blue...
4. Karen at Smiling Through It All
5. Brunhilda at Look... I'll Pay You For It

Tagging complete!

No More Volunteers!

Thank You for volunteering ;)


Jay Cam said...

lol i bet your younger self thinks that letter is crazy! i know mine would!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

awesome. thanks for doing it! i love how your letter to yourself at thirteen is given to you in 1983. that's actually the year before i was born. HOTttttttttt!

R.E.H. said...

Jay Cam: The sad part is... I think 13 year old me would crumple it up, toss it in the bin and think to himself; Yeah, right. As if you know anything, old man.

Tequila Mockingbird: You're welcome...

...and Thank you for reminding me I'm an old geezer! ;)

fiwa said...

That is an interesting meme. I don't think my 13 year old self would have listened to advice either, and even if she did, she woulda just gone on to make other life-changing mistakes. I enjoyed reading R.E.H, you always give me something to think about.


Jen said...

I wish, I wish, I wish I had written this letter to my 13-year-old self. I love this concept and if I had the time, I'd do it. But I don't. My head is already hanging by a ligament.

Great letter. Great lessons. Great life! Even amongst the pain and seeming failures, it's a great life!

R.E.H. said...

Fiwa: Yeah, other mistakes would be made, for sure... but variety! I would settle for some variety in my mistakes ;)

That sounds deep... me giving you things to think about... I'm glad - mission accomplished ;)

Jen: You should try to get yourself rested, Jen. Before you collapse.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Compelling letter, REH. I enjoyed reading it.

Someday you can write more about that blonde.

tt said...

You totally crack me up!!! You're a really good read..all by yourself ya know.
Just the distraction I need after "work".
Thanks again!!!

Sparkling Red said...

That's some letter! It says so much about your life. It's poignant and funny.

Could I do it? Let's find out.

You have got yourself one volunteer.

Jay said...

Excellent letter man!

I actually just did this very same thing. i got tagged by somebody else. LOL

It would be nice if our thirteen year old selves would listen to our advice.

Guilty Secret said...

I love this meme! And your letter was really compelling. I would totally volunteer, but I already did almost this a few months ago. (There's a link in my side bar called Letter to the Wounded Child Within Me if you're interested.) Actually I have been meaning to post an reflection on that so thanks for reminding me.

Psst... I left a little something for you over at my place ;)

R.E.H. said...

Lightning Bug's Butt: I've been working up the courage to write more about that blond... It would go some ways towards explaining my situation with The One.

TT: I'm glad to be your after-work-distraction ;)

Sparkling Red: Thanks for volunteering. And, thanks for liking my letter.

Jay: It would be absolutely fantastic if 13 year old me took this letter into account making his decisions in life!

Off to read up on your letter...

Guilty Secret: Think I'll have a look into your "sidebar letter". You are always an entertaining read yourself.

And, now I'm curious... what you got for me over there?

*running over to your place*

Dana said...

GREAT read! I keep trying to come up with some other insightful comment, but can't get past GREAT read!!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

heeeeeeey that's actually not what i was getting at. incidentally, i LIKE old dudes. but FIIIIIIIINE take offense!

R.E.H. said...

Dana: GREAT READ warms my heart though. So, you comment well ;)

Tequila Mockingbird: Whoa!

Easy now... I was going for sarcasm and irony with that earlier statement... no offense taken. I know, irony does not come across well in writing most of the time... but, I tend to use it frequently just the same...

You know I like you, right?

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Hey, I'm glad you stopped by my blog. This is a fabulous meme. I'm going to do it. In fact, I meant to do something like this after Guilty posted her letter to her former self. And it really makes the 13-year-old me want to date the 13-year-old you -- only I'm blond, so it clearly wouldn't have worked out.

R.E.H. said...

Mary P. Jones: I'll take that as you volunteering for the tag, then.

And, I was just talking about that one blond. I like blonds in general... just that one was a fair haired lady I should've not gotten involved with ;)

Thanks for coming by.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear...what would I say to myself at 13 besides "Stop it. Just stop it!!!!" Then I would smack myself on the back of the head.

HEEEEEEEE! I love your letter!

If you don't mind, I'll throw up your link on my blog?

Anonymous said...

I think this would be interesting to try. Ever since I heard that new Brad Paisley song "Letter to Me" I have been wanting to do this, not necessarily for my blog, but just for myself. But, why not put it on the blog right? There. I've officially volunteered to be tagged.


PS Great job!

R.E.H. said...

Pookie Sixx: Smackin' yourself around isn't going to get you to listen though, is it? ;)

Of course, I don't mind you throwing up my link.

Emmeline: Well, consider yourself officially tagged. I'll be looking forward to reading your letter.

Loving Annie said...

That was sad and smart and honest, and excellently written, and really made me think, and very brave of you to do...

Real Live Lesbian said...

Loved the letter to yourself...but I can't do it. I would never listen to me.

Beautifully Profound said...

Holy crap REH you have some groupies.

Anonymous said...

You so rock R.E.H.!!!!

Karen said...

ok. I sign up for number 4. I certainly won't be as amazing as you, but I can try.

R.E.H. said...

Loving Annie: Thank You very much for that comment. I don't know about the brave part... there's lots more I could've revealed ;)

Real Live Lesbian: Welcome!

Yeah, mine's not gonna listen either, but it was worth a try.

Beautifully Profound: I do, don't I? ;)

But, you are one of the originals - and that's pretty special.

Preposterous Ponderings: You don't know how right you are to say that... (see post later today)

Karen: Great! 4 volunteers! That's a helluva lot more than I thought I'd get ;

I'm sure yours will be just as good.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

oh man, you take me entirely too seriously. and yeah, i know you like me. who wouldnt, i smell like vodka and sarcasm.


R.E.H. said...

Tequila Mockingbird: *sniff, sniff* Is that peanuts and perfume on your breath?

Leighann said...

Great letter! I keep tossing around the idea of doing this myself, but I was such a snotty bitch at 13! There's no way in hell I'd listen to some snotty 30 year old bitch trying to give me advice! BAHAHAHA!

R.E.H. said...

Leighann: Yeah, that's why I tried straightening myself out at the beginning of the letter though... haven't noticed any magical change ala Twilight Zone in my life, so I guess I didn't pay attention after all...

Leighann said...

It was a damn good try though!

Art said...

Hey, saw you at Jay Cam's and thought I'd drop by. This is very interesting stuff - a cool idea for a meme and wise words from you (to your young self;)

R.E.H. said...

Leighann: Can't blame a guy for trying right?

Art: Welcome! Thank you, and do come back.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't read it all, my son just turned thirteen and the last thing I want to know is what he is thinking. ;)

Good job!

R.E.H. said...

Butterfly Girl: Maybe your kid should read this then - after all, it is aimed at a thirteen year old... but, on second thought - it'd probably be harmful to any other 13 year old than myself ;)

Brunhilda said...

I've been sent by Pookie. Hmmm . . . our letters are kind of the same. Crazy. I'll take your #5 spot as I already did it.

R.E.H. said...

Brunhilda:Ok, thanks - that completes it ;)

I'll check your letter out as well.