May 7, 2008

Bird Poop x2

Today was a gorgeous day. By far the most beautiful day of the year, so far. I think we pretty much skipped spring all together, and headed straight for summer.

So, I headed out - putting a short-sleeved shirt on for the first time this year. I wasn't out for long before I started regretting wearing my jeans, wishing I'd went with the shorts instead.

Anyway - I decided on another "first" of the year. A nice refreshing ice cream, outdoors, enjoying the warm weather. So, there I am - sitting outside at a local McDonald's enjoying an ice cold McFlurry. There is a family seated behind me... a bunch of kids running around playing and they too are enjoying the wonderful weather.


I continue to enjoy my ice cream.

"Booooo! Whaaaa!"

I turn around to see what is going on. There is this kid chasing some birds (isn't it funny how many birds gather around in places like these? Hoping to capitalize on some spilled food.). I figure - let the kid chase the birds... what do I care? I'm enjoying my first ice cream, and the weather is perfect!

"Stop it!", the mother suddenly hisses at the kid. "Don't chase the birds!"

"I don't like birds. Birds poop everywhere! Booooo!"

"The birds aren't going to poop here", the mom says. The kid is chasing after a bird which whizzes by a little too close to me for comfort. He continues and stops right at my side... and speaks to me sincerely.

"Do you want a bird to poop you on the head?"

"No, I sure don't", I tell the kid.

"Yeah... MOM! See? I hafta chase the birds away!". The kid continues to run after the poor birds, hollering and screaming at them. I'm just thinking - Yeah, keep that up kid and one of those birds WILL poop me on the head!


Speaking of bird poop. I'm keeping this short. But the son of a bitching UO over here have indeed completely lost their mind - as I was told by others once they learned I was headed for the dreaded world of unemployment.

So, I had been in there - listing my qualifications, and what kind of jobs I was looking to get. Of course, I put media related jobs at the top of my priority list. This is where I want to be, this is what I once got a degree in. I have been on the wrong track working retail for far too long - I find it reasonable trying to get my job-life back on the right track. I would take retail temporarily, but I really need to get a job in film, television or any other form of production company.

Today, I had a personal meeting at the UO with a schmuck who decided it would be in their best interest that I not be listed for those jobs. Yes, their interest - they don't care about what I want... So I tell the guy:

"How am I supposed to get the job I want if I'm not listed in the database as a candidate for these jobs?"

"Well, you can look for these jobs on your own, if you want. But retail is where we will try to fit you in."

"I don't really want to do retail again. I am hoping that my education will land me a job where I want to be."

"But, you don't have enough experience. To be qualified to apply for these jobs, you need more experience."

"Alright, never mind. List me in that database however you so please. I don't care."

"We need to find you a job as quickly as possible", the guy pauses... "Here is one!". He shows me the computer screen.

Some company who are looking for carpenters and painters - they go to different places all over the country and do contract jobs - apparently.

"Uh... I have no experience in carpentry or painting."

"You listed that you assembled furniture at your last job."

I was dumbfounded... flabbergasted.

"Assembling furniture has got nothing to do with carpentry, and certainly not painting."

"Ok... I'll let you off the hook on that job then."

Yup... this is a normal day at the UO around these parts. I'm obviously experienced enough to apply for a job I would not be capable of doing, because I did something vaguely similar at a recent job - yet I am not qualified to apply for jobs in the field in which I got my education...

...Y'all know where I can get one of those nifty little bombs? The kind that goes BOOM?


Knight said...

I thought that story was going to end with a bird pooping in your first ice-cream of the year. I'm glad it wasn't ruined.

So if the UO finds you a job you don't have to interview or anything? You just show up even though you have no idea how to do carpentry? Can they fire you that first day if you suck?

Fortune Cookies said...

you know, the unemployment office here sucks ass too... I found my sweet job on the internet, through or one of those online sites. post your resume web based search engines like that... they really are helpful, at least they were for me.

Aunt Jackie said...

Wow... that is so uncanny!! We both blogged about Bird Poop today! I agree, glad it didn't poop up your ice cream.

Don't you just loathe some children's behavior out in public?? lol

Dianne said...

that kid was clever to use you as idependant back-up for his behavior - he has a great future.

I can't imagine the frustration of dealing with people like the UO schmuck.

But I'm happy that you enjoyed the summer day :)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

You write wonderfully. You had me gigglng at assembling furniture and carpentry and painting part. heheheh. Sorry but I can't stop giggling atthat part it just hit me as being funny.

fab post my friend...I have been sick two days and not feeling like even thank you for the smiles and laugh. I'm off now for my Doctor's appointment now.

ciao babes.

R.E.H. said...

Knight: Yeah, I kinda wanted to lead you into thinking that ;) It was just an innocent little story that happened to me today that I thought was a little funny.

And, the UO does not get me the job - they are just looking at what jobs they will force me to apply to... if they think a job is for me - I have no right to say no (unless I want to lose my income of course)

Fortune Cookies: Yeah, I am using some internet job sites - but most of them are tied in with the UO over here, so it's really the same thing. I think I'll just have to try to find a job all on my own - which is the best way to do it. Sadly - the UO will make that difficult as they keep calling me in there - when I feel I should be out looking for jobs.

Aunt Jackie: I know - that was pretty spooky wasn't it? And, to think - I can not recall having read a single post on bird poop until today ;)

Dianne: I think that kid really was smart too. Too bad I can't do justice to the look on his face - the sincerity, the matter-of-fact look.

It was a beautiful spring/summer day - I needed that!

Spiky Zora Jones: Thank You. I'm glad I could make you feel better... that makes me feel good ;)

You been sick? I hope it's nothing bad. Good luck at the doctor's office!

Raven said...

Ah, the joys of bureaucracies. They make your head spin, don't they? Is it possible to work with a different rep? Hope it works out.

Glad you at least had a nice walk and an ice cream, even with bird boy.

Jill said...

'REH, please put away that bomb and stop the timer!'

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhh, the joys of having kids around.. as soon as you said poop! I knew a kid was in there somewhere.. My niece thinks like that...

Ya know what... Eff The damn UO I cannot wait until you find a job in your field and then you call me and give me the number to the UO and I will have a "Single Talk" With them bastards!!! They make my ass hurt also!!! LOL!!

Smooches Babe!!!

Jay said...

Yeah, I really thought you were going to tell us the bird pooped in your ice cream. Or the kid bumped into you and caused you to drop it. Kids do things like that all the time.

Melissa said...

I don't understand the criteria the UO uses. It sounds like they're not sure either.

Dana said...

Oh My! And I thought our unemployment agency was a joke!

Krishna said...

Can you change your listing to customer service (ya know, retail ahs unhappy customers you deal with) then see if the OU will give you a job? Then you can dish out this crap too.

tt said...

I worked as a teller before and one of our UO people tried to get me to interview at an Accounting firm as a bookkeeper. Huh?? i don't know how to keep books....I can balance a checkbook and count money but not keep books. WTF?
Wonder how the UO people got THEIR jobs???? that's the question.

I love poop stories btw....funny shit there ;)**wink-wink**

Karen said...

The Unemployment Office doesn't give a crap about you personally. They need to show the figures of how many people they have placed in jobs. It is never about what you want to do, just what they can get for you.

Let a bird poop on you. That is good luck.

Ginormous Boobs said...

This sounds like my contracting company, Comsys. Completely worthless about finding me a job.

Guilty Secret said...

Cute story about the kid :)

Yeah, that's annoying about the UO. Not many people have jobs related to their education, unfortunately. Seems sad people choose to be educated in something they really want to do then spend the rest of their lives doing other stuff.

Lakota said...

funny how many peeps were waiting for you to get pooped on. i think the poop you got at the UO was plenty. That is insane about not listing you for the jobs in your field of choice. Do you see a different person sometimes when you go there? Maybe someone else {without a moron complex) will put you back in under film.

Sparkling Red said...

That is utterly ridiculous.

Say, maybe your experience with furniture assembly would qualify you for a position at the UO! I'm sure they could find a parallel if they looked hard enough. I bet it pays well.

Anonymous said...

God. I feel for you REH. Sometimes it amazes me how stupid people really are.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the frustration of the U.O. will give you the motivation to go out and find a film related job on your own.

You know the old saying. If you want something done right do it yourself.

I'd be shocked if any U.O. in the world had job listings for film and television.

Those jobs are highly prized and I doubt you could get a job in T.V. from the U.O. unless it was as a janitor or something.

I can't get over the fact that you live in Europe and you eat the soft serve from McDonald's. You must be able to get your hands on something better.

Farmer*swife said...

GASP-siiiggggghhhhh -- you know what brought that on.

Anyhoo, as a "positive" comment it's pretty easy to get in with the local media here. Just outa' high school, a buddy of mine got on with one of the local stations running a camera and also the late night line up (I think it was all about pushing buttons). Anyhow, he only had the media classes in high school.

The pay didn't start out fantastic but it got him in the door and things improved from there (plus experience and training).

I've known several people in our area who have ended up as news casters even. One left after having a child and went into the ISD administrative offices. She worked her way up to be a biggie-wiggie there too.

I'm not sure about Sweden but I bet with your charm, charisma and creative outlets you could get on with something there. Just to get that experience and that foot in the door.

Sorry I've been has been overwhelming. In a good way though.

Well, gotta' run, but I'll return for the rest of my "catch-ups" later -- you can COUNT ON IT!! [smiley-wink] XOs

Farmer*swife said...

Oh, and FYI? I myself am not crazy about MickeyD's but they have great sausage, egg and cheese breakfast biscuits and they have good soft serve too!

[Seriously? Some people have to just poop on you and your ice cream too. I sware]


Jo said...

When I was a kid I used to run after birds too, flapping my arms & just seems like the right thing to do.

You finally have lovely weather, yippee!

Crazy, strangely typical stuff at the UO. Maybe you can request a different schmuck--or are they all clones?

Anonymous said...

I, too, thought you were going to get assaulted by bird feces. I'm so glad that didn't happen. This was really your first day to wear short sleeves? That is crazy! Well, on the other hand though, I wear short sleeves all the time, even when it's like 10 degrees outside. I just put on my coat when I'm going out. :)


R.E.H. said...

Raven: I will get another rep. I was sent to this one by mistake, since he is "specialized" in industrial jobs... not retail. So, I will now get a woman - but, I doubt she will be any better.

Jill: I will NOT! I shall have my revenge!!! ;)

Cinder-Single: I would love to listen in to that "single talk" with the UO ;) I'm sure I would enjoy every second of it.

Jay: Yeah - but nothing exciting like that ever happens to me ;) (Sometimes that IS a good thing)

Melissa: I'm pretty sure the majority of the people working at the UO don't have a clue as to how the system is supposed to work... one actually told me so when I was there - and that was over five years ago, when things were much simpler than they are now.

R.E.H. said...

Dana: I can assure you - there is nothing funny about the one we got over here ;)

Krishna: I'm pretty sure Customer Service falls under the category of Retail as well. I've actually applied for a "mystery shopper" job... where you rate the stores anonymously. Only because I am forced to by the UO... I would hate such a job ;)

TT: Sounds like you had the same UO rep that I was talking to then ;) That's just crazy.

Karen: That is exactly why I hate all bureaucracies - I am not content with being a statistical number to them... I am a human being, and I expect to be treated as one.

Seriously - getting pooped on is good luck? I would say that it is bad luck... eew!

Ginormous Boobs: There are contracting agencies around here too, but I've heard many a bad story about these.

R.E.H. said...

Guilty Secret: It is sad that it has to be that way - I guess that's one of the reason there are so many unhappy people in this world. Besides - don't they understand that a person who likes his work will do a much better job than one who hates it and can't wait for the day to be over.

Lakota: I think if the bird would've pooped on me too, that would have been the final straw which would've sent me over the edge ;)

I don't think it matters who I speak to over at the UO - they must have incompetence and stupidity listed as requirements to be hired there.

Sparkling Red: I would rather live in a cardboard box on the street corner than take a job at the UO...

Pookie Sixx: I've pretty much given up on humanity - from my experience I've found that the vast majority of people in important positions are surprisingly unintelligent... just look at politicians!

Unsigned: The motivation is there - the opportunity is what is lacking. Sweden is a very small country, and film and television production is not big business over here. Things have improved over the last 10 or so years, but it's still a very small market.

The UO does have a special media-related branch... but you must "qualify" to be included in their system - apparently I don't qualify.

McDonald's or not - ice cream is ice cream, and it was the closest place with outdoor seating that serves it... so McDonald's it was.

R.E.H. said...

Farmer*s Wife (x2): In the US there are so much more opportunity in the field in which I want to work. The entertainment industry in particular is very limited around here - that's one of the main reasons I want to go back to the States.

I'm starting to think that my best option is to start a business of my own - which is extremely expensive, however.

Yeah, I'm not big on McDonald's myself, but it's quick and easy sometimes ;)

Jo: They are definitely all clones over at the UO... I should play'em that old Alice Cooper song (We're All) Clones.

But, the weather certainly has come our way! It has been magnificent all week! Which is why y'all don't see me around too much lately ;) I gotta go out there and enjoy it while it lasts...

Emmeline: I live in a cold country, remember? ;) Or maybe I'm just sensitive to the cold - I liked it in Florida - that's my kind of climate.

Farmer*swife said...

[Doin' the little cheerleader dance for you] You so TOTALLY ROCK!!!! [Peace fingers, bounce, and all!]

R.E.H. said...

Farmer*s Wife: Watching, enjoying the show... takin' a bow ;)

Jill said...

I know that you won't have to search for a jo after that, but you don't want to end up in jail, don't you?

Kristen Bjorg said...

*Kristen thinking to herself,now,Cinder-single is calling him "Babe",we all know what that means.

Anonymous said...

HAHA! Kristen! he is my blogmate... We have some friendly fun over at both of our places (blog) hell we even have 3somes.. Right SIS? LOL~~~

He us my babe, My sweetie, My Blog Crush.. I am guessing I will come up with more!!!!
I am his Massage Therapist! and anything else he needs me to be!!!