December 31, 2007

New Year Resolutions 2008

We make them... every single year. We break them... every single year. But, gosh darnit! They are tradition! And, who am I to turn my back on traditions? I will make them this year too... my New Year resolutions, and I will post them all in this blog for you readers to witness. Why don't you all remind me every once in a while, what I said today, to make sure that I do not break these until, at least... say - February?

This is a serious post! Do not laugh at me now... I mean it - these are things that I am going to do during the year of 2008 (which evidently is going to be the best year of my life). I may write this down with a comical undertone, but do understand that this is no joke. I am sincere and do this in the best interest of my very own self, to aid me in making next year the best it can be!

Ok... so my first resolution is this:

I am going to be President of the United States!

Alright... that was not serious - that was indeed a joke (though I'm pretty sure I'd do a helluva lot of a better job than the current douche bag in the White House).

So... let's be serious, shall we?

Here goes - Number One:

I am going to get my sorry self into a fit state in which I will not only feel good about myself, but others will notice (my hot bod!) a happier me who is not so darn depressing and tired all the time. This effort will include going to the gym regularly, stretching myself properly to gain some much needed agility (I am very, very stiff-jointed), eating more healthy foods (and less pizzas, burgers, tacos and other classic - delicious - junk food) and sleeping better at night.

Note - I am by no means going to quit the junk food completely. That would not be a healthy decision, as I would likely end up in a mental institution by the end of January (if not sooner). The deal here is to eat less than I currently do.

This was the big one. This is the head honcho! If all else fails - this is the one I will make damn sure I stay true to.


I will look actively for a serious relationship. How do you like this one, huh? I will go by this one with a rather strange reasoning, which many may not agree with. I will be accused of having double standard, and I will be called a cheatin' bastard (if it is even possible to cheat on someone who has not been claimed as 'yours').

I will continue with my efforts of landing The One. I was at the gym with her today (See? My resolutions are already being well executed), and was painfully reminded of how incredibly beautiful and wonderful she can be. I am very serious, indeed, when I say I believe no other woman on this planet could make me feel as good as she does by just being there in the same room as me.

But, I will also be actively (desperately) dating other women, and if a serious relationship arises from that, I will embrace it. I will not let my affection for The One ruin something that could turn out great, just because I have this idea nothing could be better than a lifetime with her. I will however not force myself to forget about her... as long as my feelings for her are there, I will acknowledge them and strive to win her heart over. But, I will not cast stones on she who desires me (she who wants some sweet Madman Lovin').

Third resolution:

Here's a resolution that is probably vital for my state of survival this year. This one's called Get A New Job! If by the end of 2008 I am still selling furniture at the place I currently work at, I will probably spontaneously combust and run through the entire store screaming in fear and panic and pain as the flames engulf me.

You know, at this point I think I'd rather pick up a job cleaning toilets at Grand Central Station... with my tongue!

Fourth resolution:

Rather specific. This is something I always wanted to do. Let's make 2008 the year that I actually do it.

Gliding! Yes I want to glide high in the sky, looking down at the beautiful sights!

Now, I have a tremendous fear of heights - which is why hang gliding or bungee jumping would be out of the question. I'd suffer from cardiac arrest long before I'd get through with either one of those stunts, and dying during the year 2008 is not part of my plan. In one of those air crafts, however, I would be in a closed compartment, which eliminates my acrophobia (strange I know... but it's the way I tick).

Fifth resolution:

I am going to make stuff happen in my life during this year. For too many years I've been pretty much just following whatever main roads life has taken me to. It is time to explore some of those side roads that I keep passing by unnoticed. You only live once (wish I were a cat!), so one should really try to make the most out of the time one has. I'm not getting any younger, and there are millions of things I'd like to do before I finally lay to rest six feet under.

The gliding I mentioned above, would be included in this one, but I decided on making that my priority, as it is far more likely that I can be successful with that one than say... travel to every country in the world (which certainly is one of those things I want to do in my life).

Sixth resolution:

Final one! And this one's dedicated to you people... you readers... my good friends in the blogging universe!

I will write out a history of my love life, called "Rubicon Heart", in which I will attempt to confront some of the bad (outrageously horrible) things that I've been through, which have seriously damaged my ability to love (and be loved). I will do this because, in conjunction with resolution numero dos, I need to find some special One in the my life to share good times and bad times with another human being, rather than constantly facing them all alone and frightened in the darkest pits of reality. Even if this One is not The One.

Serious stuff here, right?

Hope you all enjoyed the read anyway.

Love you all, and have a


December 30, 2007

Funday Sunday: "Merry New Year"

This is a classic scene from the 80's movie "Trading Places" with Eddie Murphy, Dan Ackroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis. One of my all time favorite comedies.

Note: Sound is very low in this clip, and I couldn't find a better one on YouTube, so crank it up and enjoy the laugh.

So, the year of 2007 is rapidly approaching the end. Last years New Year's resolutions were all successfully annihilated long before the half way point of the year. I'll be a good boy and give my resolutions this year as well, and for the first time that will happen in the form of a blog. Maybe that'll help me stick to my "new agenda". That post will be available for your reading pleasure tomorrow.

I have not abandoned my Big Project... the "Rubicon Heart" story, in case you're wondering why it hasn't been posted yet. I just haven't had the energy/inspiration/time to write anything on that the last couple of weeks. Shortly after the new year, I promise it will be headed to a blog near you.

Also, I got to play a couple of Hold'Em tournaments yesterday. A final chance at poker in 2007 brought 10 of us together, seated around a poker table for eight. I did ok... second place in the first tournament, while I crashed out at the 6th spot in the second round. My beloved pair of 10's failed me for the first time ever in my home games (I have only once before lost with a pocket pair of 10's, and that happened at a casino in the very first hand of the tournament... thank God for re-buys). I play my pocket 10's as fiercely as I'd play pocket Aces - even more so, because of my genuine belief a third ten will be laid out on the table... it's quite amazing how often I draw three-of-a-kind playing that hand. Never got all four of them, though - that is reserved for pocket 4's, for some reason. I've had four-of-a-kind with 4's four times... see a pattern there?

Have a Happy New Year, everyone!

To the guys: "Cheeeeeeers!"

To the girls: *pouting lips for a New Year's kiss*

PS. Come back tomorrow for my New Year's resolution post!

December 28, 2007

Random Boring Ramblings

Shopping Spree:
Took the opportunity today to go out shopping for some cheap clothes. I'd gotten some money for Christmas that was earmarked for just that. Figured I should enter the crazy world of after-Christmas-sales as I would be able to pick up some quality clothing at a good price.

Now, if only I had a shred of intelligence... then I wouldn't have waited until 4 o'clock to get to the stores. That's when things really start to pick up. Everywhere I went, the places were packed with bargain-hunters who have never heard of the term common decency! Cutting in front of me, yanking the last shirt from the rack, just as I'm reaching for it (I didn't bother causing a scene... don't think it was the right size for me anyway), people breathing down your neck, waiting for you to hang that sweater back so they can push their way past you and get that one - because it must be the most important thing in the world, that they get that particular sweater... right now! Today!

Anyway... I managed to get hold of 3 sweaters and 1 shirt that I liked. All of them were 50% off, so I got them for a very good price. I'd wanted to buy a couple more items (another shirt, possibly a suit, since I'm now too skinny to look good in the one that I have) but the chaos in the stores had become too much for me to handle... I was quickly becoming a very un-safe shopper. At times like this, it is probably a good thing I do not carry a gun.

As you can see, I'm currently in the market for brown... I've got the idea that's a good color for me. Will suit me well for next weeks WWC, as BROWN is one of the words!

6 Days Of Paradise:
At work yesterday I realized a wonderful thing. Usually the schedule that I work by allows me a fabulous 4 days off from work... the way it works is a 4-week plan, so every four weeks I have a four day "mini-vacation". Now... the thing is - we're closed New Year's Day, so I do not have to come in my regularly scheduled Tuesday. And I'm always off the Wednesday after that as well - so this all means that I'm not back at work until Thursday! Six (may I emphasize? SIX!) days of joy and freedom! Break out the booze and the booty - time to CELEBRATE!

The Long Walk:
Yesterday, as the work-day was nearing the end I got a text from... guess who?

*building suspense*

Yes! The One!

She asked me if I was working, and when I was getting off from work. Then she fell silent, as I had answered her questions. So, once I was off work I figured I'd text her again - ask what it was she wanted...

Turns out she had the sudden urge to go for a walk. I guess she was feeling a little guilty about eating all that Christmas food, and wanted to knock some of those calories off of her.

Now, I haven't seen her for about three weeks - so of course I told her "sure - let's go for a walk" - even though I was so tired, all I really wanted to do was lay half-asleep in front of the TV.

We had a pleasant walk. Talked about the situation at work, as well as how she's doing over there in the new store. We talked about how Christmas had been. We talked about a few other things... but, most of all we talked about getting our butts back in the gym. She was very excited about the prospect of getting back to our 3-4 days a week visits there. She talked about setting up goals for us, so that we'd have something to work toward.

"So what goal are you setting up for yourself?", I ask her as the cold wind bites into my skin. I'm keeping warm by looking at her... isn't she the most beautiful thing in the world?

"Beach 2008", she says - no hesitation.

Lets hope that she feels the same way tomorrow, when we decided to start anew.

R.E.H. Notes:
She just texted me the following 'NO GYM TOMORROW. FORGOT I HAVE TO BE AT GRANDMA'S FOR DINNER. LET'S GO SUNDAY'... Well, at least it appears she still wants to do it though...

As I walked her to her door, we looked at the watch and realized we'd been out walking for 2 hours and 15 minutes. Decent work-out...

I got a head start today. I had gotten a try-it-once free card to take someone with me to the gym some day, and so I got my cousin to go there with me. He's tagged along a couple of times during the summer, but has since not been working out at all.

It's weird how things happen. Just last week... I had no one who wanted to go to the gym with me... now, yesterday The One seems to be very serious about getting back to it, and then - today - my cousin not only uses the free pass - but signs up for a year.

"It's all part of the new me!", he told me.

"New Year's Resolution?", I ask.

"Yup. I'm going to start a healthy lifestyle".

"You know... for a New Years Resolution - that's very original of you". Sarcasm is evident, and my cousin Andy was laughing about it.

December 26, 2007

WWC / Christmas Is Over

Guess what! It's Wednesday, and this week Wednesday is Weekly Words Challenge day. Usually this event goes down on Tuesday's, but for reasons most of you, I'm sure, will understand this week the WWC was due on a Wednesday.

For those of you not familiar, or with short-term memory problems, the WWC is brought to you by Santa's own favorite Tink of Pickled Beef. She chooses two words for us each week that we then interpret as we see fit and shoot some pictures to represent the words... bla, bla - I'm sure you all know what this is all about. If it's still unclear - visit the above link... Heck! Visit anyway - it's a wonderful corner of the Blogosphere!

The words for this week are TRADITION and PINK...

Well... Christmas was pleasant and quite relaxing, in fact. Had a slow Christmas Eve with my mother coming over to my place for some Christmas food. On Christmas Day we went to my Aunt's place, and celebrated with them and my cousin (including his woman and two little girls, who are not so little anymore... where does time go?).

I'm stuffed (pretty sure if someone took a picture of me right now there'd be visible remains of Christmas Ham sticking out my ears and nostrils). So, Christmas has served it's purpose. I guess I'll start working out more often again after this... actually gained a few pounds over the last couple of weeks when I've been neglecting the gym.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and that the upcoming New Year will be the best one yet of all of your lives!

Here's my contribution to this weeks WWC:

Christmas Tree with gifts - A TRADITION!


Eggnog is another Christmas TRADITION!


Well, let's NOT make this a TRADITION...
(This is actually what I looked like at work Dec. 23rd)


The PINK(ish) meat of my Christmas ham


Some PINK Santa Claus candies


Well, that sums it up for today. Back at work, and Christmas is now officially over. Looking forward to the New Year in which I hope... Let's save that for another post - my New Years Resolution post.

Next week the words for the WWC are PATTERN and BROWN. We'll be back for the fun on the regularly scheduled Tuesdays by then.

Have a wonderful end of 2007!

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Leaving you with these tremendous vocals by Michael Crawford and music by the Trans-Siberian-Orchestra. That's my kind of Christmas music!

I'll get back to you all after the Holidays... until then;

May it be a time filled with joy and mouth-watering food!

December 23, 2007

Funday Sunday: "Merry Christmas"

What else could I possibly post for Funday Sunday this week, but a fun little Christmas cartoon.

Well, lots a work still to do tonight. But, I've just served myself a Christmas ham sandwich, and some eggnog... taking a bit of a rest for a second. Been working today as well, but finally I am rid of the crazy Christmas shoppers, and looking forward to a nice couple of days off from work. During this time I will try to enjoy the holidays the way they are supposed to be enjoyed... by eating plenty of food!

I've got a lot to do, so I'll just leave you with this for today.

Merry Christmas!

December 22, 2007

A Letter to Santa

A while ago, I wrote a letter to 13 Year Old Me, and realized that if that is possible - it is also quite likely that Santa does exist... So, I thought that I'd send him a list of things I want for Christmas.

I know I may be a little late, but at least I don't opt to mail it to him at the post office. Instead, I choose to write to him right here in my blog, where he will have instant access to my wish list. That should give him ample time to acquire my sought after items and other things... gifts aren't limited to material stuff, are they Santa?

So, here is my rather quick and sincere letter to the man in the red suit - bringer of gifts!

Dear Santa!

I'm so sorry for not believing in you all these years. But, everyone I know insisted that you were only make believe. That you were only a figment of the imagination for the kids in the world to enjoy. But, if you are real - here's what I want for Christmas:

1. Hot Girls! Tons of'em. I'm a lovesick little man, Santa. Send me hot girls that want me more than they want their shoes!

2. A new job! Oh, I need a new job so bad. I hate the one I've got right now. Here's what my new job should be like - ridiculously well paid, very few hours, work mostly 1 day per week, 8 months vacation time... and only hot girls employed there.

3. Money! Yes, I want money, money, money!!! If you give me enough of the cash, you can scrap number two off the list - I won't need it. Money will bring me the hot girls as well - but, keep number one on the list anyway - can't get too many of those!

4. A time-machine! I so wanna do Marilyn Monroe... just once! This is clearly not possible unless I have some sort of time travel device. Imagine the possibilities with such a thing... Cleopatra, Joan of Arc... Mary! (become the father of Jesus... would that make me God?)

5. Did I mention hot girls? Well, bring me some of those as well!

6. The One. If you can convince her that I am the man for her, you can scrap the previous five wishes - I won't need'em. For The One... I'd be a one woman man. (Wish number two can stay though... no harm in that one - even if there are hot girls there, I'll just be looking) ... (Oh, wish number three stays at all times. I will need to buy her a lot of lovely gifts - that's gonna cost me a bundle!)

I hope I'm not too late sending this wish list to you, Santa. If you can deliver this to me come Christmas morning, I promise I will not post that picture I've got of you sneaking a peak at that woman showering.

Merry Christmas!

December 21, 2007

Verry Christmas Bushed...

I am bushed!

Christmas shopping today... everything taken care of in terms of gifts and food items required. There's one more gift I need to buy, and as horrible as that sounds, I am taking care of that little business at my job.

My mother's been wanting this computer desk we sell, and I've decided it would make a good Christmas gift for her. I had been hoping to get her out of her apartment, so I could sneak in there on Christmas Eve and assemble it for her as well... that way she wouldn't have to suffer through my cussing and violent pounding with various tools on the floor and the walls. I have little tolerance for things going wrong when I assemble furniture.

Anyway... I'm keeping it short today. As you can see on that picture I am pretty darn exhausted - and tomorrow is going to be yet another tough day at work. I still have a ton of stuff to do at home (I've hardly begun decorating for Christmas). I will have to work on that after work on Saturday and Sunday.

I thought Christmas would be over by now, seeing as I've been surrounded by Santa Clauses and reindeer since late October. But, I guess it's time for me to wake up and smell the eggnog. I am working hard (pun intended) on finding that Christmas spirit inside...

If you will, please sing me "Silent Night, Holy Night"... that'll help me fall asleep and hopefully give me sweet, sweet dreams of Santa bringing me beautiful girls with a bow 'round their waists for me to unwrap...

December 20, 2007

Primal Screams

I don't know... take a look at this video.

Attractive people are expecting me to feel sorry for them because they are good looking. Now, I don't know if I'm being a shit-head here, or if I'm being reasonable - but I find it very hard to take this little "documentary" very serious.

First of all - I don't know if you people have noticed this about me (like, sure you wouldn't have). But, I do have a thing for hot chicks. I'm a dude fercryinoutloud! It is my job to go nuts whenever I see a pretty girl - that's just the way God planned us. We are hunters by nature, and if we see a strikingly beautiful woman, our instincts are to give them our war cry.

"Hey there, sexy thing! Why don't you come get some of this?", while grabbing our scrotum in a manly manner.

We don't do this to be demeaning to the female sex - this is how we show our appreciation and affection.

Did you notice in this short little film that none of the guys seemed to have a problem with being looked upon as an object.

"Do you get stuff for free because of your looks?"

"Hell, yeah I do. Isn't that neat? Women give me stuff, and I don't have to do shit! Fuckin' awesome!", short pause for smugness. "They all want a piece of this!". Widened grin.

Now, I don't know how these people feel. I am not fortunate enough to be one of the "pretty people". I am rather cursed with being on the opposite end of that spectrum, and I can assure these people that I would much rather suffer through the emotional scarring that being called "good looking" all the time would incur. I would much rather have that, than the "You butt ugly, dude", or the condescending giggle from a girl when asking her out. "Hihihi... uhm, well... no... hihi... I don't think so!".

I'm not saying that being good looking would solve every emotional problem in the world. Sure as hell doesn't... but I am pretty sure that you cannot blame any form of emotional suffering on the particular fact of being beautiful. I have met many beautiful girls in my day, whom I have looked upon with respect for their niceness, intelligence and what not. Admittedly, intertwined with this honest respect has always been the primal scream from deep within... you know - the part of us men that God made us be.

"Why don't you drop those study books and come study this tall structure?", whipping it out right there in the middle of the library.

That one girl in this film. The one who speaks of "always being the pretty girl. Never the nice girl, never the smart girl"... she gets my heart rate up there. I wonder how she would react if a guy like me asked her out - in a respectable way. I am willing to bet my life savings on her saying "No, thank you", without taking five minutes of her time to find out what I'm like as a human being.

I cannot feel sorry for her. But, maybe this is just an assumption I'm making. I never met this girl, so naturally I never tried asking her out. But, I've tried many a time with girls very similar to her. They are all friendly and seemingly smart - yet stunningly attractive. They have all let me down... and I have seen the guys they go out with - they are not unfortunate looking... ever!

That other girl. The one who starts crying because men shout obscenities after her... making her feel not pretty. She got my reptilian brain to take over my rational thinking.

"Sweetie Pie. Lemme lick those pretty little tears off-a your face!"

Last hour before closing today was rather slow. We are open an extra hour ahead of Christmas, but this information does not seem to have reached the public - so basically; We're open, but no one knows that.

This means that there is almost no customers in the store when this very, very fortunate looking woman walks by me in one of the aisles. A member of the male species as I am, I almost walk into this big fucking column as my head turns to look at that amazing ass of hers wiggling its way further down the aisle.

I would've stopped, asking her if she needed any help - but I had something I needed to do up front by the register.

As I stand by the counter, speaking to one of my co-workers, the hot ass chick walks up to us. She's looking for a bathrobe, but couldn't find it. Yes, we're mainly a furniture store, but we sell tons of other little trinkets as well. Of course, I offer my services faster than Lucky Luke draws his gun. My professional services, that is.

As I walk her to the bathrobe section, she says to me:

"I'm looking for an extra large size"

I've got something extra large for you, bay-beh!

"Ok", I say... thinking she doesn't need extra large. She's buying this thing for some lucky ass boyfriend of hers... what can I do to make her forget about that douche bag?

And... she reads my mind.

"I do have a boyfriend"

It's informative. She lets me know this so that I don't even think about trying something with her. I'm wondering, is it really that fucking obvious?

And... then it hits me. Of course it is... I am a dude, dammit. Of course she knows! I'm not thinking anything else than every other guy would've been thinking right now!

So, do I feel sorry for her? Am I sorry I had indecent thoughts about her as I was checking out that ass of hers?

Hell no! No more sorry about that, than she is for blowing me off before I even attempt voicing my primal scream.

"Whoa there, sugar! Why don't you wiggle that sweet ass of yours over here and I'll give it a good spanking!"

Am I bitter today? I guess all this work and no play has finally gotten the better of me...

For those of you who are not familiar with the use of irony. I do not have a habit of actually using those phrases that I wrote here in order to impress the honeys. I will, however, admit that these kinds of comments do surface within my mind at times... but that is quite normal, girls. Nothing to worry about there.

Remember... I am a dude!

December 18, 2007

WWC / Minus One Body

Welcome to another Weekly Words Challenge, presented to you by the award-winning blogger, Tink of Pickled Beef! Every week she picks a couple of words for us "picaholics" to take beautiful snapshots of and present on our blogs. The words she decided on for this week are LIFE and WHITE.

As usual, I will ramble on a little bit about something, before I go on to present my pictures for the week.

Today, I want to scream and rip the remaining hair out by the roots from my head. I got to work today, and as you all may have noticed - Christmas season is very near, and that means there are a LOT of people out there doing their shopping. I would imagine that any self-respecting business would take the opportunity to put a few more bodies on the premises on such a day, in order to keep up with the added sales.

This is not the case where I work.

We always sit down for 15 minutes before opening and go through the day, and I arrived just as we sat down in the break room. I was a little surprised, having had a few days off, that there were only three of us present as I walked in through the door. I also knew today was delivery day, and we would be expecting 25+ pallets of furniture and stuff to deal with.

Today's assignments are announced, and not only do I get to work the register, while I was expecting to be in the storage room dealing with those pallets. I also find that there are only 5 people working today... period!

Now... what the hell! Usually, on any normal delivery day, we would've been at least 6 to deal with everything. Today - with the added chaos of Christmas shoppers (and a massive Christmas sale going on) we are minus one body!

This is not because people are at home being sick or anything - this is how it was scheduled.

I am pissed - and I came so close to just walking out the door, never to return that it's not even funny.

Add to that the fact that I had to spend the last hour alone in the store together with the new bitch, who's presence I do not find in the least appealing...

To hell with my job!

On to more entertaining stuff... as it is time to look at some pictures. Here's what I came up with for the WWC this week:

The story of my Love LIFE "book cover"
('Rubicon Heart' will premier here shortly)


This is my LIFE! This is where I work...


Well, it's winter and everything is WHITE.


These WHITE flowers appeared on my hanging plant


Next week we will be playing with the words TRADITION and PINK. My goodness... what could I possibly come up with for pink that is not... ahem... X-Rated? Maybe I'll run off to a farm and get some shots of a pig... they're kind of pink(ish) right? A Christmas ham?

Hope you enjoyed! We'll be playing again next week!

December 16, 2007

Funday Sunday: "Prank Calls"

If you haven't heard of this guy, you should really check him out. Tom Mabe has found the solution on how to deal with those pesky telemarketers. This particular call is quite possibly the funniest prank call I've ever heard.

I used to love doing prank calls myself. Guess with age some sort of responsibility did find it's way into my consciousness, and I haven't done it in a while - that's why I'm no Tom Mabe myself.

One time, at 3AM, me and a bunch of other guys from school called up our teacher, waking her up (of course), asking her how to make waffles - that was fun. She became very upset, and swore to find out who we were... she never did, thank god ;)

We also called the parents of some kids in school, telling them we were the police and had their son's in custody for robbing a convenience store. Another one was in custody for disorderly conduct and we all had a good laugh. Hardly very sensitive of us... but a lot of fun indeed.

I will try to recite (a shortened version) the one call that I still remember the best:

"Uhm... Hello?", it's a very tired voice on the other end of the line.

"Is this the Johnson residence?"


"Ok, ma'am. I'm very sorry to be waking you up at such a late hour, but I'm calling about your son."

"My son? Is he in some sort of trouble?"

"Unfortunately, yes. He is in custody for unruly and disorderly conduct. We picked him up downtown after reports of him running around naked and screaming. I'm afraid he's had a lot to drink."

"Oh, my God... When did this happen?"

"Hell, I don't know Ma'am... I was pretty drunk myself."

Then everybody started laughing, and we hung up the phone.

So, tell me about your own favorite prank calls. What evil deeds have you done that you wish to share with us?

By the way... are prank calls really a thing of the past? With caller ID and all, we really can't make those calls, because it is too easy for the victims to find out who we are. The good old random number picked out of the phone book just doesn't work any more.

Damn the caller ID!!!

December 14, 2007

Major Award / Big Project

I'm on a roll here!

I've received my third award in just over a week... which proves one thing. When it rains - it pours! (Didn't I use that comment recently?)

This is the second award awarded me by the fun and crazy Jay Cam of Jay's World. He's got one of the craziest blogs I've seen, and often makes me chuckle like Santa Claus on Christmas night.

I like the look of this award... I'd like a lamp just like it. I'd put it right next to my bed on the nightstand there...

I've been doing some thinking as to whom I should pass this award on to... which was indeed a difficult process. So many of you are here, commenting on my blogs. So many of you I do my utmost to read every day if possible - which is hard now as the Holiday Season's are drawing nearer by the hour.

I've decided on three people who have been frequenting this place almost since the very beginning, and whose blogs I've been frequenting since I first ventured into the world of blogging myself. It felt like the right approach, and is why I will give the award to the following people:

Note: If you weren't awarded - that does NOT mean you are not deserving of one... I just can't hand it out to everyone, now can I?

1. Guilty Secret (Guilty Secret)
One of my must read blogs, this one! If you haven't caught up on the story of Guilty Secret and her drug-dealing boyfriend (Baddie), then you've missed out on a wonderfully honest and deeply personal blog that never fails to leave me breathless after reading it.

2. Sports, Soaps, and a Wandering Mind (Samantha K.)
Sweet, funny and deliciously flirtatious. Samantha K. over at Sports, Soaps, and a Wandering Mind runs an excellent blog, where we are invited to follow her budding romance with the UPS man (why I didn't take up a job delivering packages is beyond me). She's been around here from the early stages, and has often found a way to make me feel good when I'm down.

3. Pickled Beef (Tink)
Queen of the Weekly Words Challenge, and provider of increasingly challenging words for us who participate in the WWC to play with. Tink's got a wonderful blog, in which you should really look for her "Daily Conversation" snippets. I love them, because she seems like such a fun and easy going person, while she still has a heart of gold.

Take heart of this award, and know that I appreciate your contribution in the blogging community.

On to other things...

I was originally thinking of posting a massive blog for today. There's something I've been meaning to do for a while, but haven't been entirely sure on how I would approach it.

For those of you who've been around awhile - did you think I'd forgotten all about The One? I haven't been posting about her for quite some time... except for briefly mentioning her every once in a while. Well, for one - there hasn't been much to write about on the subject, because I haven't had the pleasure of spending any time with her. I still long for her, but I think being apart for a while has helped me gain some composure, as I was really beginning to fall apart before.

I remember you people unanimously voting "forget about her/you deserve better", and you will probably remember me being all ignorant of that sort of advice (albeit good, I'll admit).

Well... I've wanted to make things a little clearer. Since I started blogging, I just kind of jumped right in on the story, and it so happened that just when my blog went into the virtual world, things in the real world exploded in my face. I was never really given a chance to think things through, and I believe that showed in the posts I made.

Because of this, I have decided to start a new blogging "series". A novella, self biography or whatever the hell you want to call it. This thing will serve two purposes:

a) It will take you readers right down to the deepest core of what has happened, and why these things have happened. Right from the very start (long before The One came into the picture)

b) It will serve as an outlet for me to deal with issues that have seriously damaged my mental well being, and I will hope that not only writing it down will make me see things in a different way, but also load a big weight off my chest. Your comments along the way will also hopefully serve as a healing aid.

(Boy! Am I getting all sentimental here)

Because these will likely be long reads, I have decided to give you people an option here. Do I incorporate this project into the blog we have here... the "Ramblings Of A Madman" blog? Or, do I start a brand new blog where I post this... blogography, so those who are not interested in listening to me whine are spared these posts?

In order to make a decision, maybe you need the following information.

  • I do not intend to post this more than once a week (depending on how much time I can find to write them)
  • Posts are likely to be quite long - much like a short chapter in a book, so grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and relax.
  • It will be a sequential read. To fully understand it is likely you have to read them all.
  • While much of it will be sentimental and dark, I will incorporate some humor into it so we don't all end up committing group suicide. This humor, is likely to be dark, though.
  • It will be honest and I will not shy away from detail that maybe I feel uncomfortable sharing.
  • It will be 100% non-fiction, and a true reflection of my experiences and my mind.
  • If posted here, it will not change anything about how I've done things here until now.

There are 4 ways in which I can do this.

1. Post here on Rambling Madman whenever I feel like it.

2. Post here on Rambling Madman once a week (weekly feature)

3. Post here on Rambling Madman bi-weekly (every two weeks, giving me more time to write it real good)

4. Start new Blog which will house nothing but this project.

Please make your vote in the sidebar here, and if you're in for the weekly or bi-weekly feature, comment here and tell me which days you find the best for a long read - weekends, Mondays or Wednesdays... whatever.

Again, thank you all for your support and commenting on my blog!

December 13, 2007

A Voluntary Google Meme...

I'm so freaking tired right now I can't think straight. Wanted to do a post today, but since my brain is currently out of order, I've decided on having some mindless fun instead.

I was over at Preposterous Ponderings entertaining space in the Blogosphere, and she'd done this meme by choice, and I thought it would be reasonably fun to do one of my own.

The idea behind the meme was to answer a number of questions by typing them into Google image search, and post a picture from the first page of your search results... well, I didn't get the funny pictures I was hoping, so that I could make this post a mind blowing, awesome read... but let's begin, shall we...

Oh... and by the way. The pic to the side here was one that came up on the first page of images when I typed in the search term "Google Images", which was what I decided to use for the... let's call it... "left-hand post ID-pic".

Ok... on to the questions.

1. Age next birthday?

Search term: "38"

While I'll be turning 38 (yes, that's thirty-eight for those of you who do not know how to read digits), I still hope to find me a hot, sexy woman like this to marry next year... I really like her wedding gown! Would be worth it - just for that!

2. Place I'd like to travel?

Search term: "Japan"

I've always had a thing about Japan... and Japanese women. The woman above, who I am now married to wouldn't mind me having an affair with a hot Japanese girl, would she? Naaah... she wore that wedding gown... how many do you think she's banging behind my back anyway?

3. Favorite object?

Search term: "I don't think I have a favorite object"

Initially, when starting this meme I wanted to go for the pictures with the hottest women... as you can see that failed on question number two, as there were only various maps and a couple of Japanese flags to choose from. I'd still like to have another affair with Katie Holmes though... but that would be pre-Tom Cruise defiling her...

4. Favorite food?

Search term: "Sirloin Steak"

This search gave me a mouth-watering piece of meat to choose from, however. How could you not fancy a juicy steak on any given day. Serve this baby up with some baked potatoes and a side of fresh vegetables, and I will be drooling like a rabid puppy dog. Don't forget the garlic bread!

5. Favorite non-alcoholic drink?

Search term: "Root Beer"

Well, I love beer... with or without the alcohol. Ahem... that's a lie. Did you guys ever try non-alcoholic beer? I'd rather not have that... I think I may even dehydrate to the point of having a near death experience before that foul liquid runs down my throat again. Root Beer, however, is the number one thirst quencher on a hot summer day... serve it up with plenty of ice to go with the above picture's steak!

6. Favorite alcoholic drink?

Search term: "Heineken"

Ok... after enough of these green bottled beers I will take my sexy wedding gown wife, my Japanese mistress, Katie Holmes and we'll go out for steaks and root beers. After that we'll be going home to my place for a nice little... foursome. I have a wicked imagination after enough of those Heineken's... still, I didn't drink a single one today...

7. Favorite animal?

Search term: "Chimpansee"
Yeah, I mis-spelled it!

This animal is almost human. I've heard that the chimp's genome is 99% human... boy does that 1% make a difference! If I were to hook up with a female chimpanzee, I'd be with 99% homosapien and 1% ape. That's not too bad, is it?

8. Favorite color?

Search term: "Black"

I think I entered a dark place with that above statement... I do like the color black. I think it's got something to do with my all-time love of horror and other dark forms of entertainment. Black is also a color that works well with every other color there is, so there's always use for some black in the picture!

9. First job?

Search term: "McDonald's"

I had to get out of school! I was young, and wanted to make a living of my own... and I ended up flipping burgers at a McDonald's restaurant. I actually spent about 4 years of my life in various Micky Dee joints... became quite the professional burger dude! I think one of the main reasons I stuck to the job was the fact that I always worked with a lot of hot young chicks. Some of those girls I will always remember quite fondly... maybe you will hear some stories about that in future blogs...

The below picture, however, does very well represent how I feel about the prospect of ever working there again! Whatever that text says ;)

10. College major?

Search term: "Film Television Production"

Well, I never really went to an actual college, but I did get a degree in Film & Television Production. It was my calling in life... and still is. You can see how important my work selling furniture to crazy Christmas shoppers is to me, right?

What I need to do is grab a camera (anyone got a bucket full of cash to buy me one?), and get out there shooting some good short films and hope for the best. Been a long time since... the old Beta-Cam is what I used when shooting a professionally made documentary... it's all about DV these days.

11. Bad habit?

Search term: "Staying Up Late"

I simply cannot get my ass in bed at night. Never could... not even as a kid. My mom would tell me time and time again... "Get to bed... NOW!". Would I listen? No. I remember having sleep-overs at my cousin's place, and I'd be talking to him as we had shut the lights off and it was time to sleep. After a while during my continuous rambling, I would hear him snoring and I'd be all upset with him for falling asleep while I had all those amazing stories to tell.

I think one of the reasons I'm not sleeping these days are because of above mentioned fantasies... Heineken induced or not!

12. Favorite holiday?

Search term: "New Year's Eve"

I've always had a think for celebrating the oncoming of a new year. I still believe that "next year is going to be the best year of my life! Next year is when I will meet the true love of my life, and she will love me as much as I love her... and Kate Hudson is her name!"

The name changes every year. I think this New Year's Eve I will be imagining kissing The One as the clock strikes midnight. Yes! The year of 2008 is when The One will fall head over heels in love with me... right?

Didn't think so...

*Leaving you all as I hide under the covers crying about that for the rest of the night*

December 11, 2007

WWC / X-mas Hysteria

Another week, another Tuesday... another Weekly Words Challenge.

The sweet and wonderful, Tink of Pickled Beef each week decides a couple of words for us to play with, and this weeks words are WANT and GREEN.

I'm a little bit short on time today, so I'll have to keep in brief today. Gotta work a hell of a lot to make up for lost time after being sick all of last week. And, work is pure terror right now as Christmas is coming upon us. What is it with people that turn them into hysterical, rambling madmen (pun intended) during the holiday seasons? Some customers these days are coming very close to pushing me over the edge... I don't think causing serious bodily harm to a customer would do either one of us any good... I don't want to spend Christmas in prison, and I'm sure they don't want to spend it in a wheelchair.

Get a grip, people! I'm only human for cryin' out loud! If it's not in stock - there's just no way I can GUARANTEE that it will be delivered in time for Christmas... that is out of my hands!!!

Let's do the WWC:

I still WANT a Merry Christmas!


This is the kind of GREEN that I WANT more of...


Pouring some GREEN Cactus Juice


The GREEN felt of my poker table


That's it for this weeks WWC! I've got a few days of hard work ahead... so I might be a little bit of a stranger, both in terms of posting and visiting all your wonderful blogs out there. I'll get back to my usual frequency of blogging soon enough, I hope.

The words for next weeks WWC are LIFE and WHITE. Until then...

Take Care Y'All!

December 9, 2007

Funday Sunday: "Scare Tactics"

I love to scare people. I wish I had the opportunity to do it more often, because nothing beats the look of an absolutely terrified face... when you know there's really nothing to actually be afraid of.

On Halloween, I told you about my most successful attempt at scaring someone - when me and some friends invited my neighbor over for a seance. That experience, and my childish love for the horror genre in general would make me a good choice to produce a series like Scare Tactics. (Take the hint, Sci-Fi Channel).

There is this one clip I remember, where a girl in a car meets this hitchhiker. He keeps popping up at regular intervals ahead of them, and the last time when they stop (if I remember correctly due to being out of gas) - when the hitchhiker opens the door she goes absolutely nuts, throwing herself up against the door on the other side, on top of two other people in the car. I remember she was screaming her head off, tears streaming down her face. When they told her she was on Scare Tactics, she could not understand a word they were saying - her eyes were the size of baseballs, I tell ya!

I felt sorry for that girl, because she was absolutely certain she was about to die...

Couldn't find that clip on YouTube - but this girl is almost as scared... and that'll have to be funny enough ;)

December 8, 2007


Yesterday I told you guys about what a Heavy Metal hair I had until recently. Heavy Metal hair, for those who do not know it, is long fucking hair of equal length front and back of head. It was actually quite a bit longer than it looks in that picture. The hair that peeks out over my left shoulder comes from all the way in the back and sort of rests there... like a snake.

I sort of mentioned to Jay in a comment also, that I would look up a picture of me with that long fucking hair still attached to my skull - and after browsing my archives I decided on this one. I'm not on many of my pictures myself - reason being I'm usually behind the camera when I take pictures.

So, I couldn't find one where I had my hair down and wild (I rarely had it like that - most of the time it was in a ponytail like on the picture). Whenever I let my hair out and started headbanging at parties, all my friends knew I was miles and miles from Sobriety Road.

This picture was taken at one of my weekly poker nights I used to host every Saturday. Poker night is becoming a rarity these days, which bugs me - because I really enjoy them. See my cool shades? I don't think I'm as cool as I look - those are just some old sun-glasses I found laying around when I first started playing poker, and thought they were required paraphernalia at a poker table. These days they remain on my head (contrary to the hair) on account of being my lucky charm... charming or not ;)

Aaand... so we move on.

Back into society today. Yes! Finally I've freed myself from the confines of my bed, where I was sentenced, by unknown forces of evil, to spend a full week feeling sorry for myself. I am finally beginning to function normally, and the bad ass cold is subsiding into nothing more than a sniffle and the occasional cough.

Back into the world, where I began serving another sentence. A far more severe punishment indeed, by unknown forces of even greater evil.

Some of you, who have been around reading my ramblings for a while, will remember me speaking of how horrified and shocked I was to learn that a certain woman would be transferred to our store in replacement of my dear and beloved The One. This was one woman who's presence I could not stand.

She started working at our store on the 1st of December, but since I haven't worked this week on account of me being sick and all, I've been spared the displeasure of working in her presence until today.

Things could've been worse. I managed to stay away from her most of the time, but there were things that bugged me. The woman is handed a management position (she's not the boss, but like an understudy to the boss), and she doesn't know anything about anything. Still, she does everything as if she knew everything - resulting in a lot of shit for me to rectify because of her wrong doings. Today she sold items that we were not allowed to sell, just to name one thing. (Too long a story to explain why we can't sell these items).

My schedule is very similar to hers... Yippee! Right?

Hell, no! I'll be working with her almost every day... Really gotta get me a new job. Or, maybe, she could have a terrible accident in the storage room...

I'll be giving her a chance though. I'm not going to be very tolerant, but I'll be giving her a chance just the same. She didn't make progress to get on my good side today, but she didn't push herself closer to the edge either. My opinion of her remains the same... which is very low.

Wanna move on to more cheerful things?


I've been handed yet another award! That's two awards in two days, that gives me an average award ratio of one every single day. Keep that up and I'll have to buy my own server to store the image files in. Hehe... ;)

This one was awarded me by the entertaining (and even crazier than me) Jay Cam over at Jay's World. Thanks, man!

This is what the award symbolizes:

"It's actually for the people who you think deserve an award for their amazing friendship. However, there are no awards out there that can fully express this...
So just give them NO AWARD!"

So, that was a little bit of this, and a little bit of that to give you some reading on this cold Saturday. Tomorrow I'll be back to offer you another Funday Sunday.

Take care y'all!

December 7, 2007

Apparently: I ROCK!

Let me begin by expressing my delight and appreciation to Guilty Secret for awarding me my very first award! Thank you, that really brightened up my day! She deserves a ton of awards herself, for the honest and fascinating story she's blogging over at her place. If you haven't read up on her story - do it! You'll not regret paying her a visit.

This was her motivation for giving me this award:

REH has only been blogging two months, but he's being doing a damn good job of it so far. His posts are interesting and entertaining and he deserves the loyal readership he has already built up.

So... apparently - I Rock!

I cut my hair off a while back, so my victory head-banging is not as wild and impressive as it used to be when a thick mane of hair would violently thrash about as my head was thrown back and forth, my upper body slightly bent forward and one foot in front of the other to keep from falling over. Picture me doing this, with one arm held aloft, pumping upward, fist clenched with my index and pinky fingers reaching out - all in the name of rock'n'roll!

Picture me wearing my torn, washed out jeans. An over-sized metal studded belt, and throw in some chains as well. I've got my Twisted Sister T-Shirt on, and on top of that is my equally washed out jeans jacket with cut off sleeves, and about two hundred patches sown onto it, making me look like an advertising board for every heavy metal band that existed back in the good old 80's.

And... I'm screaming at the top of my lungs:

"I wanna ROCK! And fuck you world if you don't understand how much I LOOOOOVE ROCK AND ROLL!"

Yeah, we were like that. But, if you look at it - being a rock'n'roller, a metal-head... it was all about having some good ol' fun (read: ROCK!)... and about the babes, of course. We loved the chicks... and to this day still, I find it extremely sexy when a girl dresses up in a sleeveless top and a pair of torn up jeans. Make sure there is a rip on the back, just below one of your buttocks, revealing just enough of a tight round ass to tease me.

Aaah... the good ol' 80's!

Seems I kind of drifted from my topic there for a while. Uhm... see... YES! I was given the 'Rockin' Guy Blogger' award. It is one that should be passed on to others as well, and I have decided on three Rockin' Dudes who deserve it. I will present them in alphabetical order, so as not to offend anyone who thinks "why was I third choice dude? I should be number ONE!".

1. Cynical Bastard
Jay over at Cynical Bastard. I was thinking to myself that I should hand this award on to people who not only entertain me with their blogging, but bloggers who really do ROCK! as well - which means they have to be fans of Rock'N'Roll.

Jay! You rock! I didn't really know that until that letter to 13 year old you, where you talked about the Rolling Stones and mentioned the fact that AC/DC still rocks! So, to commend you on your always entertaining blogs, I hereby present you the Rockin' Guy Blogger Award.

2. Man Overboard
Not too long ago, you posted a video of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock!".... well, almost anyway - it was a Spongebob version. Anyway - the following really made this a clear cut decision:

Excerpt from a Man Overboard blog:
It should be noted that for some time now I have had my daughters trained in the following:
me- “I wanna rock!”
them- “Rock!”
us- “do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do, I want to rock, rock”

Dude. You ROCK!

3. Your Friendly Neighborhood RockDog
It's all in the title of his blog right? RockDog, isn't it obvious that the guy Rocks? And, he's got a thing for scantily clad women which goes a long way towards getting my attention. With a wicked sense of humor and no-holds-barred wit, the RockDog is sure to entertain every time you walk into his space in Blogville.

You know it already, champ... but, take it from me - You Rock!


To top things off for today, I leave you with some good ol' heavy metal to feast upon. Courtesy of Helix: "Rock You!". And with that, my promise that I will continue to Rock You readers... to the best of my ability!

And, guys - if you're not into the heavy metal scene... there are bare naked titties in this video!

December 5, 2007

A Letter to 13 Year Old Me

When it rains, it pours. I've been tagged again.

This time it is actually a quite interesting meme I've been asked to do, courtesy of Tequila Mockingbird. This meme asks me to write a letter to myself at the age of 13. Now, if only I could actually get that letter delivered to me back in 1983 this would be the best thing that ever happened to me...

As is the norm about meme's there are rules. Link to the person who tagged you (see above), do the meme (which in this case is write a letter to a 13 year old you), and tag another 5 people to do the meme.

Now, seriously. I don't know about tagging 5(!) other people. That makes for a lot of meme's you know. 1 person starts, tags 5. These 5 each tag another 5 and then there are 25 doing the meme. They each tag 5 and boom! 125 people have to do the meme. When these 125 follow the rules and in turn tag another 625 people things are beginning to spiral out of control. Shall we calculate how many will be tagged in round 6?

I will propose a different solution at the end of my meme, today. Sorry for not obeying the rules completely ;)

Enough of the rambling... let's write a letter!


Dear 13 Year Old R.E.H.

I know you don't like to listen to other people telling you what to do. But, this is me talking here. Yes, me! As in You Yourself!


Betcha it is. Imagine me having to write this letter, huh? There are a million things I would like to tell you (me?) - some of it good, some of it not so good... well, sorry to say - most of it not so good.

You're not fooling me. I know you're sitting there reading this all smug and know-it-all. I know - I was you, remember. So, cut the bullshit, and for once listen to a responsible adult.

Ok, so listen up. Don't know how far into the 13th year of your life you've gotten, and I can't recall when exactly this thing happened. But, there is this girl you will soon find yourself quite smitten by. Yeah, the blond one. The one who every guy in school wants to kiss. You'll find a couple of years down the line that kissing is not what's on either your or their minds... you have just started to be curious about it... Yes, I'm talking about screwing her, ok. And, just for the record - play your cards right and you'll end up banging her at some point. At least make sure that happens ok, because she's pretty darn good at it.

But. Do not under any circumstances fall in love with her! That's an order. She will end up hurting you like you never thought was humanly possible, ok. Screw her... once or twice... hell, as much as you want - just don't ever let her get to your heart. She'll rip it out and throw it away.

What I just told you is the single most important thing you will ever hear, ok.

There is another really important thing I need you to pay attention to. On New Year's eve as 1988 becomes 1989 - for fuck's sake! Understand that no Pizza place is open after 3 at night, ok. Get a fucking sandwich or whatever out of the fridge at that party you're at - don't fucking get in the car, ok?

This event is likely not to happen anyway if you heed this warning. That cool acting school you want to go to starting in 1987... not worth it. The teacher is a drunk.

Wait! No, you should go anyway - just don't expect anything from school itself. I do want some of the memories from these days - had a fucking blast over there. Lotsa partying and lotsa girls - but do try to take more advantage of it... and never mind that pen-pal girl. She'll just end up cheating on you. If you choose a different path, that is ok too. Just make sure you have the time of your life right then and there, ok. College years do not return - they truly are the best years you will ever experience.

And, dude! Keep on writing. Yeah, I know - you're thinking "what could possibly stop me from doing that? I'll be writing forever!". Well, the blond I told you about will become one of the factors that make you stop if you let her.

But, do make sure to have some time over for sports and exercising as well. Yeah, I know - you think it's lame! Writing is your calling in life and all - but it would really do you some good, and save you a lot of trouble later on in life, ok. Besides, a few years from now you will have found that sports are a lot of fun... only you'll be too old to participate in them at that time. If you start now, maybe you can become a professional baseball player - that's one of the dreams you'll be having later on in life. Sign up with the Braves, if you succeed ok. The Braves rule!

Yeah, yeah... Hollywood is calling. But, you need to understand that whatever you decide takes a lot of hard work and determination. It's not going to happen as easy as you think. Get that through your thick skull once and for all. Work! Work! Work!

Don't wanna?

Let me tell you where I am now. I have a small apartment where I live all by myself (sounds great to a 13 year old, doesn't it?). I work at a furniture store for damn near minimum wage, and can barely afford to do something fun every once in a while. The one movie I have made to date probably qualifies as the worst film ever shot (and has thankfully been seen by very few). There is this documentary that turned out quite well - though you lost your rights to that one. The dream is still there kid - I just didn't put in the effort to give me a chance of reaching that goal. Change that for me, will you? If we don't succeed, we'll at least feel better about ourselves because... well, dammit! We tried! We did our best, didn't we?

One more thing... nicotine... don't ever fucking start ok - one year from now you're gonna think it's the coolest thing in the world to be smokin' and what not... it's not cool - it's just plain and simple stupid, ok?

Now, good luck, kid. Mostly you'll turn out ok - but do think seriously about what I wrote here, and our life will probably be just perfect!

Fuck! Can't let this opportunity pass me by. Play the lottery on Dec. 5th 2007. If you haven't earned your millions yet... this is your chance. The numbers for that day will be [this part has been removed by the author to protect his younger self from you guys playing his numbers]. Don't tell anyone, ok?

The Future You


I'll just have to send this through the time-portal as is. There are about a thousand more things I'd like to tell myself, but this'll have to do. This meme is pretty much like writing an actual letter for me. First of all - I don't know when to stop. Second - I am never satisfied with what I wrote. Third - I always feel I have forgotten something of the utmost importance.

So... it is time to reveal my revolutionary idea on "tagging" others to do this meme. Below I will list the numbers 1 through 5. To begin with, these spaces will be empty...

Now! YOU decide if you want to be tagged with this meme. If you want to do it - let me know with a comment here, and then I'll update this page with your blog name and a link to it - and you will then have been officially tagged.

I encourage you to do it... this one is quite different and fun - although a bit difficult.

Tagging Volunteers:

1. Sparkling Red at No More Casual Nonchalance
2. Mary P. Jones at A Room Of Mama's Own
3. Emmeline at Why The Sky Is Blue...
4. Karen at Smiling Through It All
5. Brunhilda at Look... I'll Pay You For It

Tagging complete!

No More Volunteers!

Thank You for volunteering ;)

December 4, 2007

WWC / Still Sick

We have entered the month of December, and that means we are rapidly approaching the festivities of Christmas and all that jazz. That doesn't stop us from playing a fun weekly little game called the WWC.

The ever lovely, Tink of Pickled Beef chooses a couple of words for us, and we try to come up with some amazing pictures to share that represent these words. The idea here is to be creative with it, and this week we are playing with the words LANDSCAPE and ORANGE.

As those of you who have been reading my blogging on a regular basis will know, I've spent the last few days laying flat out in bed feeling sorry for myself, on account of a particularly bad cold (or flu?). That means I have not stepped outside my door for a good 4 days - liar! I was out today... yeah, that's right. Simply had to get me some groceries as there was nothing left in the fridge for me to eat.

Well. As a result I haven't been out there to shoot any amazing photos to share. Instead I dug through the archives, and found two things.

1. I have very few pictures that could represent Landscape.

2. I didn't have a single picture that had any orange in it.

Well, I selected a couple of archive pics for Landscape, and shot a couple of desperate ones for Orange - can't miss out on the fun of WWC, right?

So, enjoy my contribution:

A pond in a beautiful LANDSCAPE.


Some family fun with a lovely LANDSCAPE backdrop


Of course - the most obvious ORANGE picture of all


An ORANGE heart of friendship I got from my cousin's daughter


Well... I'm keeping it short today. So, I hope you enjoyed the pictures.

Next week it is time to play again, and the words then are WANT and GREEN!

December 3, 2007

Hollywood Hotties... Not So Hot?

Don't we all just look at the Hollywood people and gawk at their stunning beauty? Don't we all look at celebrities and wish we were as hot, sexy, beautiful and pretty as they are? Don't we all want these rich and famous beauties to glide underneath the covers of our homely beds at night and join us in their bare naked state of grace?

Well... it's time we started thinking twice about that.

I started thinking about this when I posted that sexy picture of Lindsay Lohan yesterday, and stated my desire that she be here to take care of poor little me as I lay here feeling all sick and under the weather. I posted this beautiful picture of her, and afterwards I come to think of another picture I'd seen of her... you know, from one of those times she was arrested.

Not so hot on that picture, now was she?

So, I'm thinking to myself. Are the Hollywood Hotties really as hot as we think they are? Or is it all just a scheme? Are we just being fooled by the tremendous skill of professional make-up artists and air-brushing techniques on their photos?

Let's have a quick look at some of those sought after Hollywood Hotties:


Who better to begin with, than the girl who started this thought process in my mind?

Yes, I am re-posting that same image I posted yesterday, though I have now added a small image to the lower right side... is that the girl I wanted by my side? Or would she have made me even sicker than I was?

With no make-up on, and quite a... let's say... dumbfounded look about her - she does not remotely resemble the beautiful, sexy and scantily clad knock-out I posted a picture of yesterday.

This girl has made quite a few headlines over the past year or so, so it doesn't come to a surprise to many that she doesn't always look so stunning...


And, here is the girl who's making more headlines than most people in Hollywood. She can only be compared to Paris Hilton, when it comes to scandalous reports.

Having taken the entire world by storm, not only because of her music - but because of her beauty... making every teenage girl wanna look just like her...

As you can see on my little "insert" picture there... I sure hope American teenagers do not attempt to look like dear old Britney anymore... that picture is outright scary.

Gives me nightmares to think about how many a time a guy like myself has looked at a picture of this girl... dreaming of how nice it would be to grab hold of her head and... STOP IT! Right there!


Another girl who every teenager in the world wanted to look like... and I think the majority of them at least managed to take after her style of clothing, was Madonna.

In the 80's you couldn't get bigger than Madonna. She was holier than thou... even the pope would pale in comparison to this hot, HOT, HOT! chick.

While age has taken it's natural course on her, the insert pic there surely must make you seriously doubt she ever had IT.

Oh, boy... and even I used to think she must be the sexiest thing alive. Right now... thank god I never got around to marrying her like I always said I would do... oh, yes! All that I needed was to meet her, and she'd be mine...


When Basic Instinct was launched onto theatres across America in 1992, there was no question who was the hottest Hollywood Hottie of the day. It was Sharon "Parting Legs" Stone.

Every single man who ever went to see that movie left with a massive protrusion in their pants, and quite often a wet spot in the theatre seat. The time I went to see the movie was a different story - my gawking was ruined, and I wasn't even given the pleasure of leaving afterwards with a healthy boner... I may, or may not, tell you guys about that story some time.

I did see her on some interview shortly after the film was shot, where she had not been very successful with her make-up, so I've never been one of those to say that Ms. Stone is a true sex-bomb though.


This girl actually pains me to include in the list. I saw her on Actors Studio a while back, and I think I almost fell in love with her then.

She, of course, wore make-up there - but she seemed so wholesome and natural. Of the girls I picked for this blog, she is, however, the one who's the least ugly on the insert pic... but that's not to say she's a top notch head-spinning hottie.

Pretty darn average looking with a quirky smile...

Cameron is and will always be respected by me for her acting skills, and I will always remember that Actors Studio interview I saw and think of her as a Hollywood Starlet who does not think of herself as a better person than you and me... and she will be beautiful just for that.


What do I want to say by writing this? Do I want to tell you all that they are butt ugly?


I believe that they are good looking, but I believe so are we. The insert pictures chosen here are no more representative of their true looks than the hot stuff pics. I actually had to search for a while to find a picture of Britney's bald head where it wasn't obvious she actually has a very pretty face...

Thing is... We just don't have access (nor the money) to look as hot as they do when they walk on that red carpet. It is time that we allow ourselves to feel good about how we look, and realize we can be just as stunning as the rich and famous...

So, lets take a minute and look at ourselves in the mirror... imagine having Lindsay Lohan's stylist here to fix us all up...


I think I may be the sexiest guy on the planet!