Hey!
Hey-hey-hey... no, no, no! I'm not flippin' the bird at you people. Don't get me wrong here!
I'm giving the finger to my idiot of a Union Representative. Yes, that same dickswab who called me up on the first day of my "mini-vacation", to make sure that I was aware of the fact that I was about to be fired. You know - the guy I called Morgan to give the jack-ass a name, as if he deserved one. I should've just went with Mr. Ass-Hat.
So, Mr. Ass-Hat had called me yesterday again. Now, I told the stupid jerk that I was on vacation, and had no interest in dealing with this crap until I got back to work. Still, he called twice yesterday, leaving a messege on my answering machine. It said:
"I have a protocol here from your work, and there is something I would like to discuss with you. I guess I'll try calling you back later, and we'll see if I have more luck reaching you then. Thank You."
Yeah, you'll see if you're "lucky enough" to reach me.
Obviously - he didn't reach me yesterday - so I had the honor of once again recieving that phonecall just as I sat down with my obligatory cup of coffee in front of the computer.
"Hello?"
"Yes, this is Morgan from the Union again. I tried to reach you yesterday, but you weren't home. Are you enjoying your vacation?"
Now, you see - this is where I really start to be pissed off. I wanted to say 'I would enjoy it if you'd stop bugging me every damn day', but I'm a nice guy so I just brought on my best voice of annoyance and said:
"I'm trying to..."
"Well. I have a protocol here from your regional manager concerning you, and I wanted to discuss this with you."
"Ok. What is it?"
"Well, you know - you have a two month period of notice, right"
Period of notice is the time during which I am required to work at the place after officially having been laid off. This is designed to protect the employee, and ensure him the income for an extra two months - as well as time to actually find a new job.
"Yes, that's what you told me last time"
"Okay. Here's what they want to offer you. You work for the remainder of this month, and then you don't have to work any more. Your salary will be paid out to you during the remainder of your notice. They also want to put the date of notice retroactive to the 19th."
Wait a minute - hold on a minute here. There are papers to sign here - the place I work at has tried to get me to sign back-dated documents before... that's how they operate. Not until I sit down with them, pen in hand, signing a document with THE CURRENT DATE imprinted on it, will I be accepting the lay off.
And, while not working for the final month and a half, and still getting paid, sounds like a good idea... I'm not an imbecile. This deal is good for them - and it's bad for me... wanna know why? Because I would not recieve the extra pay one earns after 6PM every day - and the weekends are DOUBLE pay... I would miss out on nearly a thousand dollars during this time if I don't do the time inside the walls of that place I've called work for the past four years.
Further more... I'm beginning to wonder why in the hell I was placed on vacation THIS week? Was it so they could work out a deal with the Union that would suit them, and not having to be interfered with by me?
I know, I'm the kind of guy that will cause a ruckus at work when I feel things are handled badly. I've often been an inconvenience to them, and they haven't been happy about that. What do I care? Right is still right, and wrong never is.
I told the schmuck on the phone that I'll have to think about this, and that I'll get back to him when my stupid little vacation ends!
Anyway... looks like I'll only have to work one more week at the place when I return. I certainly don't feel like sticking around. What I'm gonna do, however, is try to work out a better deal for me. I will sign the papers of resignation on the 29th. I will expect my period of notice to last until that last of April, during which time I will expect my salary to be paid out in full - that meaning my additional payments need be calculated as well. Then, of course, I would have an additional 20 vacation days due in the summer - these 20 days I will expect to have paid out in full in that final paycheck.
We'll see how much they like that deal.
So - pardon my french... but Fuck You District Manager, Fuck You Store Manager, and a big ass Finger Bird and a Fuck You to Mr. Ass-Hat, Morgan the Union Rep!
Yeah, a little something to improve my mood after gym today. I had to pick up some stuff at the grocery store, and I went to this place I don't usually shop at. I went there today, because they are the only ones who carry the particular brand of Ramen Noodles that I like. Ramen is my number one evening snack when I'm hungry - easy to cook, delicious taste! Add a piece of toast with cheese on it, and you're good to go.
Anyway - what I found was one of the things I miss the most from the States...
Cheesecake!
I freakin' loooove cheesecake, and it is unheard of over here. There is something they call cheesecake over here, but it doesn't even remotely resemble a New York Style Strawberry Cheesecake.
A couple of years ago, there was a store that carried some American Foods imports, and they sold the Betty Crocker cheesecake mix. I often bought that, but I guess I was the only one who did, since they stopped selling them after a while. I asked them about it.
"Hey, where's the cheesecake mix? Haven't seen it for weeks now."
"Oh, that thing didn't sell. We won't be bringing that back"
They also sold root beer - another thing that people don't know what it is over here. That was taken off the shelves about six months later... I want my Root Beer!
Hershey's Peanut Butter Cups lasted the shortest of it all - and were gone less than two months after I found them.
I can still buy me some Mississippi Belle Pancake Syrup, and the Pancake Mix. Marshmallow Fluff and (thank the Lord) Hellman's REAL Mayonnaise!
Anyway... I found a cheesecake in the store today. It made me laugh... I had to take a picture of it to share with you all:
Now, if that isn't the smallest little cheesecake you ever saw, I don't know what!The little thing was tasty though. Finally got the taste of cheesecake in my mouth... although it lasted for all of five seconds. But, it really tasted like the real thing. They sold them in strawberry (pictured) and lemon. No plain ones - but that's ok.
Wanna know what that little thing cost?
$1.50
44 comments:
First of all - may I add my own "Fuck You" to all the Ass-Hats involved in your place of employment and an extra FU to the union guy who needs to look up what union is supposed to mean.
I love cheesecake - I have tried to make it many times and failed but I come from Brooklyn - the sacred home of all good foods.
Can I ship you foods from America? A little dry ice and a FedEx box and I'm good to go, I'd even charge the shipment to whichever client has pissed me off the most that week.
and the food would be a gift from me for helping me with my writing, loved your advice on my PFC - really helped and made me feel safer about writing more.
I try not to curse so much but ummm Eff them! all of them Morgan that sonnamabiscut! LOL!!! anyway I LOVE CHEESECAKE!! I want some now, But I am in for the night, I made it in from the ice all over the road and I am soooo not going anywhere else...
Again another Eff You!!! to your place of employment!!
Toodles
Single!
yuuummm
cheesecake taste good!
and at first i thought you were just stretching your middle finger!
my bad..
What a bunch of losers! You definitely should come back to the them demanding the full amount you are owed. All the vacation and pay and everything. As they start to negotiate on that make sure that you won't give up the bonus pay. On those days that you will be paid not to work tell them you expect to get your average pay from the last year that would include the extra for staying late and working weekends, not your base pay. Go ahead and be a hard ass with them. They deserve it!
I guess you could go to Amazon.com and find some cheesecake in their food section, but I bet it would be expensive. My favorite cheesecake is Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream. LOL
Here's wishing you well with your negotiations! What an ass-hat (no, not you)!
And you know, you do have friends here in the states that can easily ship Jell-O cheesecake mixes and Reeses Peanutbutter Cups!
Wow you don't think about the kind of stuff that isn't available in other countries. I wonder what they don't have in other countries that I would miss terribly were I to move across the sea. Hmmm. It's interesting what get accustomed to liking, isn't it? Although I'm sure there's plenty of stuff you've gotten used to over there that we don't have over here.
In England I loved the tea. And there is nothing comparable in the States, nor in ANY country for that matter. It may be cliche, but it's true - the Brits REALLY know their tea. (The food, not so much!)
Em
Dianne: Yeah, I tried downloading recipes for cheesecake on the internet, and made one. The results were disastrous - but, atleast the birds liked it ;)
Glad you found my advice useful. I liked where you were headed with that story, so I do hope you continue it.
Shipping food... the customs don't like that stuff. I tried once, and it never delivered.
Single In The City: Yeah, I should watch my effing language... when there are words like sonnamabiscut around, who needs them anyway ;)
Jay Cam: I'll be doing that stretch some more on Monday, I'm sure.
Jay: Oh, I'm going to fight for my money all right. They're going to like me even less before they get me out of there!
Amazon sells food nowadays? I haven't checked amazon.com in years...
Oh, Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake - yeah, I can buy that here. But, I don't like that one so much. Chocolate Fudge Brownie is the one for me!
Dana: Thanks. I'm afraid those negotiations might become ugly.
Or, maybe I should just get back on over there and by all the cheesecake I want.
Then, there would be stuff over here I'd be missing over there... do you know of any way to merge two worlds together? ;)
Emmeline: I just finished typing my response to Dana, and there you are asking the question I hinted at to her... hehe.
Yes, there is lots of stuff I miss from Sweden when I'm in the US. Pastries of all sorts are MUCH better here - cakes, danish (American Danish is terrible in comparison)... the Semla I wrote about a while ago.
Maybe I'll do a post some day - discussing various items of food?
Sounds like a good idea?
You and I should feast on cheesecake together sometime.
I could eat that stuff 24/7. Raspberry is my favorite!
We could get nasty with it and lick it out of one anothers belly buttons or something.
cheesecake is not my fave, but there are a million wonderful and relatively easy recipes out there!
Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ROCKS!!! Oh and you liked my Sonnamabiscuts? LOL!!!! you can use that anytime!
I want some Swedish Danish! (oops, That sounds, Well nevermind)! catch ya later
If anything could make that ordeal better it would be cheesecake! I'm with yah, a BIG F-U to all the bastards!!! And a double F-U to Morgan the union Rep for interrupting your vacation to talk shop! Hurumph! what nerve. UGH.
I will be thinking of you and your negotiations, I do wish you luck with that.
Hey you can't go wrong with food posts! :)
Also - I saw your comment to Jay about Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie - that one is my absolute favorite!! Is it as expensive over there as it is over here? :/
Em
That's a very small portion. Must be as satisfying as a one stroke hand job... If you're used to North American sized portions. In the first world the leading cause of sickness is our own lack of moderation. You might want to look at the cheesecake and admire the fact that it's just enough. Are you going to the gym to get fit? A small portion means less time working your snack off. Are you upset by the price? It just might keep you from buying an unhealthy amount. To want the cake is natural. To limit the amount is healthy. You've already super-sized your anger. Before you add on a side of spite and a large helping of resentment take a moment... It is your vacation. Do you want to spend it pissed off? You devoted half a page to it. You get paid to think about work when you are at work. Nobody is paying you to think about work on your time off. Think about how much your time is worth per hour. Not what they pay you but what you are really worth. Now calculate how much of your time in dollars you've wasted being pissed off at them. If you over eat you'll be working off those pounds long after the cake is gone. If you don't moderate your anger you'll be thinking and writing about this job long after it's gone. The owner of the cake factory did you a favor and gave you the experience you wanted while causing you as little harm as possible. You devoted five seconds to tasting the cake and it made you happy. Five seconds is all your crappy job deserves. It's been longer than five seconds... Are you ready to put the spoon down?
Well, I think that Mr Ass Hat (going to put that in my rotation by the way...I love it) was being a total dick! I'm sorry to hear that you've been laid off and I hope that You can get what you want from those wankers!
That's the cutes little cheesecake I ever did see! I do hope you went ahead and bought more than one of those? I love cheesecake (the only kind of cake I like) and want to try some real New York Cheesecake some day!...I'm sure it's the bomb!
I think it's healthy to vent anger...which is a natural reaction to getting the shaft & having them try to take your dignity too. Good for you for having a think about your rights & what you want to get out of this, REH. I hope it turns out in your favor.
What a cute little nibble of cheesy heaven! I'm sure I would miss a thousand things if I ever strayed from our capitalist megastores. Mostly Charmin. And being able to buy Asian, Greek, Indian, Creole & Mexican products in the same place I buy ketchup and toothpaste.
Just love that pic and the one of the cheescake!
At least by answering the phone even though it is your hol, you know a bit more of what they are up to and have time to think about it.
Hi there, just discovered your blog and I dig it. I agree 100% on the cheesecake. Possibly the best dessert EVER! As for the job, take 'em to task and don't sign anything without getting a lawyer or whatever is equivalent in Sweden to have a look at it. It's a misguided belief that union representatives are there to represent YOU. They are there to insure that they get the maximum dues for the minimum service for each of their workers. Give 'em hell! What are they gonna do? Fire you?
Ass hat...LOL, I'm gonna have to find more occasion to use that one.
Take care and good luck!
FMD
Preposterous Ponderings: Oooh... I wonder which I would enjoy the most - the cheesecake or you? Put together... it would be heaven, though ;)
Liv: Yeah, I've tried a couple. Last one I did came out like a dry piece of bread... I fed it to the birds. I guess my baking skills aren't that good ;)
Single In The City: Sonnamabiscuts will certainly be added to my vocabulary ;)
And, what do you say about some Swedish Americans? /LOL! ;)
No More Empty Fortune Cookies: That's what I'm thinking - why bother me every single day on my vacation?
The cheesecake went a long way to lift my mood though.
Emmeline: I'll try to work in that food post in the future... maybe I'll even compare a few other differences between the countries. That might be fun...
Oh, I don't know what they charge you for a Ben & Jerry's over there these days, but I'm pretty sure they don't cost more than the $7+ they charge you over here.
Anonymous: Now there's a long analysis of my post ;)
To begin with, while I am used to much larger portions of cheesecake (isn't everyone?), I'm not too concerned about having to work it off in the gym. I've lost about 60 pounds since I started going there... I used to be fat. There is still some flab, but I'm not too concerned about it. Mostly I work out to feel good and be fit. I am not about to sacrifice a treat every now and then. However, I do not excessively treat myself like I used to do. Yes, for further analysis - I believe I did eat a lot of snacks on account of depression back then. That's what caused me to gain all that weight.
I use my blog to vent frustrations, for one, so I don't have to dwell on it during the rest of the day in my private life. That's why I wrote half a post about that Union Rep ordeal.
No. I do not want to spend my vacation being pissed... but they sure are trying to force that emotion on me. But, I'm pretty good at letting go, once I set my mind elsewhere.
Scarlett: Welcome!
I can't take credit for the word "Ass Hat"... If my memory serves me right it belongs to Tequila Mockingbird ;)
That cheesecake was cute, it was delicious, but I'd need about eight of them to satisfy my needs... and then I'd be up to about a $12 treat. Expensive!
Jo: The thing that gets me the most in this thing is that I was beginning to plan things out, with the expectation that I'd be working there til the end of April. That would mean summer was upon us, and that I could spend the summer working a temporary job and possibly save up some money and make that move. Now I have to rush everything... and with the job situation over here - finding a new job may prove to be a very difficult thing indeed.
Casdok: Glad you liked the pics.
Like I said, though, I'm seriously wondering if they didn't send me off on vacation to be able to do those negotiations without me.
Fu Manchu Dad: Happy to hear you like my blog. Come on over anytime!
While a lawyer is not the way to go over here - unless I plan to sue their asses - there are other "Civil Protection Units" (Hell, I don't know what to call them) one can turn to if they feel they have been treated badly by the Union and stuff. This lot is about as useless as the Union itself though... so I believe I'll fight this war on my own. I will, however, be demanding that the Union Rep think about what's good for me, and there are quite a few things I can present to him that may make him realize just how the company I work for operates. They are cheeky bastards I'll tell you.
I wonder how much effort I'm going to put in during my hours at work next week... hehe.
Oh, and cheesecake is by FAR the best dessert ever (along with fried banana's and ice cream, that you can get at Chinese restaurants).
Lakota Princess: Good. You do that. Promise you'll visit me afterwards and make me feel better too?
Funny how people fought so hard to have unions to represent them because the big, bad company was the enemy... and then the union turned into the enemy. I guess everything can get corrupted, given time.
There's nothing I like better in the morning than a good chuckle. Well, maybe there IS something else but I won't go there. :)
Your line "Right is still right, and wrong never is." completely gave me an 'aha' moment. I'm not sure why I haven't heard that before, but it's my new favorite saying now. Thankyouverymuch! To me, I think it's rather nice being given 2 months notice of being fired. I'd call it being 'laid off' but whatev....
It would be a good thing to be given time to find another job before the end of one. It would cushion my blow I think. It still sucks though, and Mr. Ass Wipe needs to find out what it feels like I think. When I was actually earning a paycheck (**insert snide look here**) anyone fired here would be escorted out the door that same day. That really sucks.
I admire your tenaciousness!! You rock!!!
Now about that cheesecake! Yummy in the tummy!!! I LOVE cherry cheesecake! Next to chocolate it's my fav.
I had an exchange student from Brazil once and when she left I would send her 'care' packages of food stuffs she couldn't get back home. Like Cocoa Puffs cereal and Orange Hostess Cupcakes But sometimes the boxes would arrive at her house opened! The cereal and cupcakes would be gone! Guess the customs guys liked them too.( Asswipes!)
The angry pic and a dab of cheesecake got my pretty place all a flutter this morning!
I love your photos you put for the blog topic. This one, glad you let us know pretty quick it wasn't us :-) LOL
And, as other's offered. I'd be happy to ship you some treats from the states. Just email me what you would like to have.
I know my friends from germany always want peanut butter and M&M's with peanut butter.
I love that you're playing hard ball. Good for you.
That cheesecake is too cute!
Yup, with the rest of the universe, offering a middle finger salute to the compendium of asshats who apparently not only want to fire you, but annoy you on the way down. Geez.
Apparently the Swedish customs agents are a bunch of well-fed international culinary critics. I guess we'll never get a cheesecake to fit in a #10 envelope, huh? Ahhhh. You're right, you need to come here, get your friends tosend over their delicacies, and test the culinary tendencies of U.S. agents. Unless it's pot or coke, I think they leave it alone...
Yet another reason to come back to the U.S.
I'm sure you will work a good deal. Enjoy your vacation.
I'm glad you don't let the ass-hats kick your around. It's unfortunate the union designed to protect you is the same one harassing you.
That cheesecake reminds me of the little cup versions they used to serve at KFC in the 80's.
What's with Anon harassing you about over eating? Where did that come from?
ohhhh man, i like that you gave the union guy the name "morgan"... three guesses as to what Lawyerman's name is. hahah
anyway, dont let them douche you over, but you dont sound like you will. besides that extra 1000$ will get you a ticket to minneapolis... there is plenty of root beer and cheesecake here.
Damnit!! Cheesecake is so yummy... I have been doing well all week except for the Hershey bar I snuck and ate when I went to the grocery store last night... :( (blushes, kick self)
First of all:
Jay: I SECOND that B&J Icecream. OMG...It's to die for!!!
Second:
REH: They are being so shady it's ridiculous. Make them give you what you want since it's apparent they want you out of their hair pretty badly. Fuck them! I don't know if I could live without cheesecake. In fact, I have a Cheesecake Factory right down the road from my work. mmmmmmm...
Wow, that's pretty much the limit. I can't believe how schemeing they are - good for you for pushing back - don't let 'em get away with it. THIS is why it always cracks me up in people have a better opportunity come along, and don't want to leave the current job for fear of putting someone out. Whatevah!
That little cheesecake cracks me up - how sad. I'd bake one and mail it to you if I could.
Enjoy the last of your vacation!
fiwa
you look pissed. me scared.
GOOD FOR YOU, "flip that bird to those $hitty people full of cowpoop! And, yes, you be smart and work your full two months left for all the money you'd be entitled to if you "were actually" in the office.
Sheeze. That's what I thought[understood/mis-understood?] was a union's purpose.
So, I don't drink rootbeer cuz' it's too much sugar (you don't wanna read me on sugar)...and, really, the only beer I drink is, well, the ferminted kind. Preferably, "oil" as my DH calls mine [Shiner Boch, baby!]
So, I can make but cannot ship a real cheesecake...but, if you had an anonymous P.O. Box, and you provided it to us on your blog? I'm pretty sure we could fill you fully until you were forever sick of Peanut Butter Cups. Or, any other favorite American Candy.
Think about it. Fellow bloggies? Y'all willing to ship some candy to Sveden (oops, that's my pretend Swedish accent) I mean, Sweden?
Sparkling Red: I've never been one to put trust in the Union. I am only a member since a couple of years back when the company I worked for tried to fire me (same deal - cutting down on staff... we have lost 5 full time positions since I started there). End result - they fired someone else (all of us empoyees were fighting to keep the jobs, because we felt overworked as it was).
TT: Two months notice is nice, but I'm not pleased with the fact that I'll be losing nearly a thousand dollars on the deal.
Cheesecake - Strawberry! Always strawberry! ... Well, most of the time anyway ;)
And, yes - the customs guys are like that. I've tried shipping food items both ways... It's never made it across the pond. I think they're worried drugs or something is hidden into the food...
Leighann: Good to know. Anger and cheesecake - not sweetness and chocolate - gets Leighann in the mood ;)
Newt: I enjoy doing those pictures too. Thanks.
Oh, peanut butter. That is even made here, so no problem on that front. Not big on peanut butter though (unless it's in a Reese's cup). Or in any form of chocolate - why does peanut butter taste so friggin' good when mixed with chocolate?
Guilty Secret: And we're only in the first inning. Wait til I call on the closer to finish the game off ;)
(That's a little baseball reference)
Elle: That's what I don't get. I've been nothing but loyal to this company for four years, and no they want to part ways like this?
Anyway... no problem fitting a cheesecake of the size I bought into a #10 envelope.
G-Man: The more I think of it, a return to the States may very well be in the near future.
Not just for the cheesecake, though ;)
Knight: I've never been one to let people boss me around. Sometimes it's a good thing - sometimes it gets me in trouble ;)
I don't know why anon did that either... do I look fat in that picture?
Tequila Mockingbird: Ok... my guesses are - let's see...
Sawyer? (clever, huh? Sawyerman!)
Windom?
Morgan? (got it on the third, did I?)
;)
Oooh - there's cheesecake and root beer in Minneapolis?
Gosh! I would never have guessed ;)
Aunt Jackie: Cheesecake is very hard to lay off. After not having had any for almost two years... I tell you, that tiny little fix got my addiction back full force!
Pookie Sixx: First of all:
CHOCOLATE FUDGE BROWNIE!!! ;)
Second: I will not be going out that door without putting up a fight. They will remember the day they turned their backs on me ;)
And, a cheesecake factory right down the street? Do you SMELL it? I wouldn't be able to focus on work... I'd be jogging over there to bathe in the mix!
Fiwa: I'm not surprised though. They've always been scheming and trying to squeeze every last penny out of everything - never thinking about keeping the employees happy.
The place used to be a happy one, when I started there - we had fun together. That doesn't exist any more - everyone is annoyed and over-worked.
Jahooni: Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
Farmer's Wife: The Union can never be trusted... I always knew that.
Too much sugar? Is that even possible? ;)
And, most candies in the US are the same as over here - Milky Way, Twix, Snickers - you name it. The one candy that I don't see here, which I miss are the Peanut Butter Cups.
Sveden... yes - that's how the Swede's say it. Sometimes it comes out like "Svay-den" too ;)
Whatever happens, don't let the job screw you. Get every penny you deserve and more. I kind of want that cheese cake
Karen: I'll be sure to give my job a piece of my mind. And I will ask for as much money as I can possibly squeeze out of them.
Sorry - that cheesecake was gone only seconds after the pic was taken ;)
You cannot do a cheesecake yourself? They don't sell cream cheese either?
But that would be a pain in the ass, not having all those product you are us too!
Jill: I have tried, and I have failed miserably ;)
Do I need to buy myself a ticket to Sweden and go make you one?
Jill: That would be much appreciated ;)
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