March 3, 2008

"3rd" - February 2008

Today is the 3rd of March. That means that I will present my monthly feature which goes by the appropriate name of “3rd”. This is where in three sections I will 1) Give my thanks to the people who comment on my blog, and give out the Commenter of the Month award to the person with the most comments over the past month, and 2) Take a look at the search terms that brought people to my blog, as well as 3) The ever popular “Commenter Story of the Month”, in which I use one select sentence from all of your blog posts to create a fictional story.

This post is always a lot of work, but I am thoroughly enjoying it so far.

To add to the fascination of the number three this is also the third time I do this thing. And, it happens on the third month of the year!

In honor of that I have decided to add another song to my new Playlist on the sidebar. What could possibly have been a better choice than the song “Three Days” by Jane’s Addiction. It may not be a song that really represents my musical tastes, but I was a big Jane’s Addiction fan back in the late 80’s and early 90’s – and this song was one of my favorites by them. It is another one of those 10 minute epic songs… I guess you can figure by now that I like long “epic” songs a lot. Songs in which there is a lot going on… I can’t stand monotonous and repetitive songs – I want there to be things going on, keeping me wanting to listen. There is a drum section in this one that I really, really like – right after the longish guitar solo. I don’t know what kind of drums he’s pounding on there, but they have this metallic sound that makes me want to pound away on those like crazy for a while.

Listen to it… it’s a good song!

Oh, as a side note – I just made a minor change to the look of the PFC Archives – adding the titles of the short stories you all wrote.

Now, let’s get on with what we are here to do!

ONE: COMMENTER OF THE MONTH

We have a new champion commenter for the month of February! Leighann commented an impressive 55 times during the month to win the award. Farmer’s Wife sure put up a good fight, and finished 2nd with 52 comments. Reigning champion Tequila Mockingbird was soundly beaten this time, but still managed to grab the 3rd place with her 35 comments.

Below, is a list of ALL commenters during the month of February 2008.

WINNER: Leighann (55)
2nd Place: Farmer's Wife (52)
3rd Place: Tequila Mockingbird (35)

4th Place: Jill (34)
5th Place: Emmeline (28)
6th Place: Jay (26)
7th Place: Dana (25)
8th Place: Single In The City (24)
9th Place: Dianne, Knight, Sparkling Red (23)
10th Place: Jay Cam, Jo (21)

11th Place: TT (20)
12th Place: Guilty Secret, Karen (18)
13th Place: Casdok, Lakota Princess, Unsigned (15)
14th Place: Jen (14)
15th Place: Tink (12)
16th Place: Beautifully Profound, Liv (11)
17th Place: Elle, G-Man, HoosierGirl5 (10)
18th Place: No More Empty Fortune Cookies, Pookie Sixx (9)
19th Place: Joel, Newt (8)
20th Place: Aunt Jackie (7)
21st Place: Cardiogirl, Flutter, Jahooni, Preposterous Ponderings (6)

Never picked up the phone when Mystery Man called:

22nd Place: ~Angela~, Fiwa (5)
23rd Place: Anndi, Mary P. Jones, Melissa, Real Live Lesbian (4)
24th Place: Alli, Butterfly Girl, RockDog (3)

25th Place: Backpacker Momma, Blogget Jones, Freakazojd, Fu Manchu Dad, Ginni Dee, Jay, Kell, Lightning Bug's Butt, Maggie, Nicole, Odd Facts, TK Kerouac (2)

26th Place: Amy, Fooped, Gawilli, Loving Annie, Mike, Raven, Samantha K, Scarlett, Storyteller (1)

TWO: KEYWORDS OF THE MONTH

Time to take a look at the search terms that were used on Google and other search engines that brought people to my blog.

Top Searches: "scare tactics"
This month seems to have been a month in which people wanted to scare the bejeezus out of people, as the most popular search term lead them to my Scare Tactics Funday Sunday a while back ago.

Funny Searches:
2008 email addresses of big fat ladies with big boobs for penpals” - Yeah, you really need that many?
a day in a life of a game addict” – Now where’s my copy of GTAIII?
can one write a true story and call it fiction?” – Not really. If it’s true – it’s not fiction (thought I’d help this person out)
come with me we'll take a ride back in time” – Alright, when do we leave?
fat girl in a sauna” – Ok...
fat tuesday flasher photos” – Uhm… are you supposed to flash yourself on Fat Tuesday? What am I missing here?
fondle japanese stewardess” – Yes, please ;)
girls fuck multan” – Who’s Multan? I had to do a search on the internet, and all I could find was that Multan was a city in Pakistan… now, how would a girl go about having sexual intercourse with a city itself?
how to insert a bottle up your anus” – Uh… what? For dummies?
i want to fuck my mother” – Now that one’s just plain disturbing!!! Forget the cousin make-out searches… how the hell did someone land on MY BLOG using this search term?
i'll gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you” – Hehe… must have been looking for my “Full Metal Jacket” post…
if u want to go and take a ride with me pass me the money” – Hey! You the same one who offered time travel? You didn’t say nuttin’ bout no money!
kick in girl balls hot” – I can’t seem to put these words together coherently… girls have no balls, being kicked in the balls may cause a sensation of hot down there – painful hot… what does this sentence mean?
kicked in the balls by a diva” – Hey, Jen! You gotta stop kicking guys in the nuts, you hear! ;)
leighann without sound” – Leighann… I haven’t heard your voice, but is it really that bad? Or do you just talk too much ;)
losing my virginity sex big” – Now I can see why someone would search for topics on losing their virginity… the part that cracks me up here is the final word – BIG. Oh, my gosh! Hehe…
picture of a mad man in a plane” – I don’t recall ever having my picture taken while on a plane.
sauna gi joe” – Yeah! Bring G.I. Joe into the sauna!
sit down wooden sauna with face out” – Be sure to have your face out when in the sauna!

Rectal Bottle Insertion related searches:
It is still a very popular thing to search for variations of the theme “bottle up the bum” – here are a few of my favorites of the month.
coca cola anus shoved”, “coke bottle inserted up the ass”, “glass bottle anus pakistan”, "pepsi bottle in anus", "pepsi bottle in girls ass" - What is our world coming to?

Personal Favorite of the Month:
psychology of nun porn” – Now… I can see that there may be a few people out there with a nun fetish. But, to understand the psychology of nun porn? I mean, really… this one cracked me up for quite some time when I read that line…


THREE: COMMENTER STORY OF THE MONTH

If I may say so myself, I think this is my best effort yet in compiling a story out of all your sentences. Lets look at the rules of this little "excersise" (or just skip that part and read the story).

Monthly Commenter Story
The monthly commenter story is a fictional story that I will write and post on the 3rd of each month. This story is composed of all the people who have left at least three comments on my blog over the past month. Credit goes to RockDog for inspiring this idea.

RULES (may change slightly each month):
Every person who have commented on my blog at least 6 times during the past month will be included in a fictional story, written by yours truly - R.E.H.

I will go to these people's blogs and copy a single sentence from their final post of the month. It will always be the 9th sentence of that post. If the post has fewer than 9 sentences, I will use sentence number 6, if fewer than that - sentence number 3. If the post were to have less than three sentences – I will take the sentence from the second last post of the month.

The Commenter of the Month will have sentences from the last 3 posts included in my story.

Runner-Up and Third Placed commenters will have sentences from their last 2 posts of the month included.

Once I've collected all your sentences, these will be incorporated into a fictional story.

Sentences MUST be used as dialogue "out of the mouth" of that blogger, and I am not allowed to add other dialogue to that character in the story.

Every sentence MUST be used in the story. I can not skip using one, just because I can't find a good use for it.

Sentences MUST be used completely unedited, except if sentence breaking parenthesis is used, in which case I reserve the right to remove the parenthesis.

Names of the blogger will be linked to their blogs (only where dialogue follows).

If a blogger does not wish to feature in these stories from now on, they must tell me so in a comment, and I will exclude them from my story.

DISCLAIMER:
The events taking place in this story has no resemblance to reality in any form. The actions that fellow bloggers undertake in this story is in no way a reflection of their true selves. The only "real" deal here is that what the blogger says in this story, is what they have written on their blog... but it may be put way out of context of its original meaning.

Put shortly... this is for fun! I have no intention of hurting anyone's feelings, or making them out to be something they are not!

********** THE STORY **********

THE MYSTERY MAN MURDER

A couple of weeks ago, I got an envelope containing a key in the mail. There was nothing else inside, no return address or anything. I had no idea who sent it, nor what door that key would open.

It wasn’t until last night, when a Mystery Man called me on my cell phone that I was reminded of the strange key.

Mystery Man: “Meet me at warehouse 505 down by the pier.”

R.E.H.: “Who are you?”

Mystery Man: “The key I sent you. It will open the door.”

*click*

The Mystery Man hung up on me. Intrigued by the call I immediately went back to my apartment, fetched the key and headed out to the pier. Outside warehouse 505 I was surprised to see Leighann, Pookie Sixx and Aunt Jackie hanging out by the door.

Pookie Sixx: "The twist is that the girl is American born."

Leighann: "We were ALL hot for Kelly Lebrock!"

R.E.H.: “Oh, I remember Kelly Lebrock. I used to have such a crush on her.”

Aunt Jackie: "She'll really appreciate if you stop by and say hello."

R.E.H.: “I didn’t say I knew her… personally. Wish I had though.” I looked at them. “What are you doing here?”

They all shrugged, as if they hadn’t thought it strange that we were all outside this run-down old warehouse. I noticed Beautifully Profound hurrying towards us.

R.E.H.: “Hey! I thought you were moving to Australia?”

Beautifully Profound: "Not saying that moving over to Australia is madness, but there is lots to be done when I arrive."

R.E.H.: “I’m sure there is. I kind of envy you. I’d like to go to Australia… I’d like to travel all over the world. I’d love to go to India!”

Joel appears around the corner. Dianne is right behind him. More famous bloggers are starting to show up – all headed for warehouse 505.

Joel: "A pop quiz; Do write/type in a word or two about what comes in your mind when you think the word 'India'?"

R.E.H.: “Elephants! That’s what I think of when I hear India. I remember this circus I went to as a kid where you could ride an elephant… Persie – I remember that was the elephant’s name. I was always too scared to ride him though.”

Dianne: "I’d perch on the edge of Persie and throw my arms up in the air as we went around faster and faster."

As more and more of my favorite bloggers started to arrive, I was becoming increasingly curious as to what was going on. I began explaining about the key and the phone call.

R.E.H.: “So I went over here after I got that strange call from this Mystery Man. But, why are all of you here too? Did you all get a call from him also?”

Farmer's Wife: "While pleasantly enjoying my peace and quiet the phone rings."

Leighann: "The husband was online reading emails."

Single In The City: "Well he called to let me know that he misses me, and we need to get back "together"."

R.E.H.: “Do you know him? Do you know who Mystery Man is?”

She shrugs.

Cardiogirl tells a similar story of the phonecall, and had told Mr. C that she would be headed out here to check it out.

Cardiogirl: "Mr. C laughed with surprise and amusement in his voice."

R.E.H.: “Alright. Now that we’re all here, lets go inside and see who this Mystery Man is then, shall we?”

I used the key to unlock the door to the warehouse, and we all followed suit inside. It appeared mostly empty, except for a desk in the center with a laptop sitting on top of it.

R.E.H.: “Not much in here… do you all see anything?”

Newt: "At most there might be a picture of a kid and a coffee mug."

And, that’s when we all saw it. On the floor, next to the desk was our Mystery Man. There was a pool of blood around him, and clearly the man was dead.

Jen: "My tummy is full of bubbly and not the good kind."

Jahooni: "Kinda."

We all stood in shock, looking at the dead body on the floor.

Guilty Secret: "Not to make February even more special;"

R.E.H.: “Well, this is a great way to end the month.”

Behind us, we hear the door to the warehouse open again, and as I turned around to see who it was I was both relieved and quite nervous as I noticed it was Detective Matthews and a couple of crime scene investigators. Oh, my God – we were all going to be suspects of committing homicide!

The girls were all looking at Detective Matthews, almost drooling. He was a very well known detective in Blogville, and all the girls were hot for him.

Leighann: "So here are your Friday Goodies."

Flutter: "In that dream."

Liv quickly adjusts her shoulder straps, and straightens up.

Liv: "The number of times i have wondered what to wear tonight."

Dana: "He's got the approval of a drunk senator, a woman who claims she's in touch with "the people," although she'd have no idea where to find the nearest WalMart and could never put dinner on the table for a family of 5 using only rice, kidney beans and cream of mushroom soup, and most recently, the full support of a man who is more racist than David Duke."

As all the girls are dreaming about the sexy Detective Matthews, Jay is pondering the obvious desire for him they all seem to share.

Jay: "Now, let’s be honest unless there is a decent amount of money or a new car or a really cool, high paying job that doesn’t require me to do much of anything involved I’m probably not going to have sex with a man."

Tequila Mockingbird: "If they were super hot, that would be entirely acceptable."

Detective Matthews stops in front of us all, and puts down a briefcase. He’s looking us over, looking less than amused. Then he looks over to the body, and tells his investigative team to start processing the crime scene. He turns to Jill, giving her a stern look.

Detective Matthews: “Where were you this morning?”

Jill: "Visit my relatives up in that province, including one of my goddaughter."

He turns to Karen. She accounts for her morning whereabouts.

Detective Matthews: “Can your sister confirm that?”

Karen: "My sister hadn't been home from work."

Detective Matthews: “Emmeline… What’s your story?”

Emmeline: "Would you like to hear about: a) how this company I have been wanting to work for ever since I graduated has three times now "sort of" offered me a job and then changed their minds?"

Detective Matthews: “No. That is not what I want to hear! I want to know where you were this morning between the hours of 8 and 10.”

Barely audible, Jay Cam mumbles something. Detective Matthews picks up on it, and snaps at him.

Detective Matthews: “What was that?”

Jay Cam: "Ireplied"Followmetoyourmom's"."

Detective Matthews: “Are you trying to be cute? Do you think you’re funny? Care to explain what you are doing here?”

Tequila Mockingibrd: "Here's mine, no explanations are needed."

She suddenly rips her blouse open, exposing what is underneath. Detective Matthews is so surprised and impressed he doesn’t seem to know what to say. Her big boobies are supported by an odd looking bra.

Casdok: "The American Inventor, James Moreau, explains it best: “A brassiere which surrounds the breasts with water, so that a buoyant force provides improved and independent support for each breast."

Detective Matthews manages to look away from Tequila Mockingbirds breasts, and surveys the room.

Detective Matthews: “I can see you lot are going to be a lot of help in this investigation.”

He notices a security camera in a corner of the warehouse. He points at No More Empty Fortune Cookies.

Detective Matthews: “You. Help set up the surveillance cam to the laptop over there. We’ll have a look at the surveillance tapes and see what really happened here.”

No More Empty Fortune Cookies: "They come with friggin' instructions, and a diagram!"

Reluctantly she proceeds to read the instructions and connects the security cam to the laptop. Detective Matthews instructs Elle to go find the surveillance tape, and about the same time the laptop is hooked up to the camera she returns with two different tapes.

Elle: "Which?"

After checking the two tapes out, Detective Matthews chooses one and loads the security cam with it. Tink sneaks up behind him and puts the other tape in her purse.

R.E.H.: “What are you doing?”

Tink: "Hoop expressed a wish to collect them."

Detective Matthews notices Tink trying to steal the tape, and promptly digs into here purse and takes out the surveillance tape.

Detective Matthews: “Do you all understand the seriousness of this situation? We’re talking about murder here. If you are found guilty of committing this crime you are facing a minimum of 5 years in prison! That’s a lot of life in the real world you’d all be missing out on.”

HoosierGirl5: "And Aaron will be 12, finishing his 6th grade year."

It suddenly seems to dawn on many of us the severity of the situation we are all in.

Detective Matthews: “Ok. Now, let’s have a look at that security tape”

We all started gathering around the laptop, trying to get a good view of the screen. TT starts pushing some people around, unhappy about the crowded feel as we all bundle up in front of the laptop.

TT: "I need all the grape room I can get."

The tape starts playing. After a few seconds of static, we see the Mystery Man walking around in the room. Apparently he’s talking on a cellphone, and we all figure he is making a call to one of us, asking us to come see him here. I started to wonder what it was that he wanted to tell us all. Why had he asked us all to come here?

A dog appears on the screen, runs up to the Mystery Man and starts humping his leg. Mystery Man tries to push the dog away.

Lakota Princess: "Animal trying to hump a human - funny."

Knight: "StumpsAround:"

Detective Matthews: “What? Is that the dog’s name? Do you know that dog?”

Then there is static for a few more seconds. Then the screen turns black – completely black. We all watch for a while, waiting for something to happen. Jo seems particularly fascinated.

Jo: "That is a dimensional black, it pulls you in, makes you feel it is bottomless."

Still there’s no change in the picture. Sparkling Red seems to be impatient.

Sparkling Red: "I recommend fast-forwarding a bit to get a sampling of the various sections."

Detective Matthews: “Hey! Who’s in charge here? You? We’re watching this thing from start to finish. This might be a long night, and not one of you are leaving here until we figure out who killed this man!”

He motions to one of the CSI’s.

Detective Matthews: “Rodney! Go out to my car and get some beers will you! This is going to be a long night.”

Rodney they CSI quickly walks outside, and returns with the beers.

CSI Rodney: “Who wants a beer?”

R.E.H.: “I’ll have a can of beer, please.”

He tosses me one.

CSI Rodney: “Who else?”

Farmer's Wife: "I will also drink beer from a can."

A few more express their desire to have a beer, and Rodney tosses a can to everyone who asks for it. G-Man looks pleased as he pops his can open, and takes a large sip out of the can.

G-Man: "All-in-all, a good night."

He raises his can and proposes a cheer. Then the blackness of the screen suddenly shows the room again. Mystery Man is standing by the desk, a shadowy figure is approaching him on screen. He seems to be screaming in fear, his mouth agape and his eyes wide with terror. There is no sound on the tape, but still it was like we could all hear that scream shattering our minds.

Preposterous Ponderings: "And maybe it's not meant to last."

…TO BE CONTINUED (MAYBE…)

101 comments:

Leighann said...

Yipee! I won I won I won! I knew my (stalking) persistance would pay off!

TO BE CONTINUED (MAYBE)

MAYBE???? MAYBE????

Jay said...

Leighann commented more than twice as much as I did. Dang! Oh well, it could be worse. I could be one of those people who only commented a couple of times. How embarrassing!

You were REALLY wanting to use that man sex quote from me weren't you? LOL ;-)

Anonymous said...

Damn. I suck.

Leighann said...

By the way, I think it's apparent from the number of comments that I left, that there's nothing wrong with my voice. I talk too much. :)

Dana said...

“fat tuesday flasher photos” – Uhm… are you supposed to flash yourself on Fat Tuesday? What am I missing here?

Didn't I educate you on proper Fat Tuesday etiquette?? Flash them and they will come ... tossing beads!

Great story this month - I'm looking forward to the conclusion - or continuation!

And Jay, you and I are in the same commenting neighborhood - maybe we need to take stalking lessons from Leighann!

Guilty Secret said...

Dude, you are so creative! Thanks for the link love. It's always fun to drop by here. You have a proper little community thing going on :)

Anonymous said...

I like how I'm the only person in the top twenty that has their name in grey.

Casdok said...

Very impressive post! Glad you liked my breasts!! :)

Knight said...

I love that for some of these quotes I can remember the original context. Especially Jay's.
How do you write this so fast? It would take me a ridiculously long time to write anything even slightly coherent.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i feel sufficiently less creepy than when i won twice in a row.

thanks for letting me get topless. although you failed to describe them as perky, supple, and nippletastic.

fiwa said...

lol... great way to work in Jay's sentence. I can't figure out who on earth you come up with these stories around comments like that - it would take me forever.

Uh, and I really hope you're going to FINISH the story, I need to know whodunnit!

Anonymous said...

You worked in the comments so that it sounded so natural. In fact, I was forgetting that you would of course mold your own dialogue so as to set the stage for the coming comments, so I would think "wow, what a coincidence!" Great job. I felt like I commented a ridiculous amount this month, and yet still the top commenter was almost double mine!

Also - I thought the rule was to post from the month's final post? The quote you took from mine is located in a March post. I mean, obviously, I don't care, I was just curious.

Em

Anonymous said...

That was great! I feel as if I was getting my lines for one of those Mystery games!...

You did a great Job, but hey you always do!

Toodles
Single!

Lakota Princess said...

clapping wildly! wolf whistles! or at the very least humping dog whistles!

Most excellent piecing together of the puzzley pieces this month REH. Come here - that earns you a big kiss and butt squeeze. Ummm... I meant me squeezing your butt.

Jo said...

That was fabulous! So impressive, and of course you fit in Jay's comment...now we'll really remember him for that LOL

I can't believe you didn't know about the Mardi Gras tradition--as Dana said, all you need are plastic beads & it's boobies-boobies everywhere!

R.E.H. said...

Leighann: You won alright! Congrats!!! You are now officially my top stalker of the month!

That story might be continued next month if I can put it together...

Jay: Well, it was the ninth sentence so I didn't have much choice did I? Hehe..

Believe me, though, when I say that I had quite a chuckle copying and pasting that line ;) Fabulous!

Pookie Sixx: What? No you don't... or... I should stop myself right there!

Leighann: And why didn't I figure that one out? ;)

Dana: That's right... darn, I can't seem to get it through my thick skull that Fat Tuesday = Mardi Gras... flash on!!!

The story will continue if I can pull it off next month.

R.E.H. said...

Guilty Secret: Thank You. This is one of my favorite things that I do. It's fun to hear what you all comment on, and how you feel I worked you into the story and all. I enjoy this one!

Unsigned: That's because you don't have a blog... start one and I'll link you ;)

Casdok: For the longest time, I had no idea what to do with your brassiere line... it worked out nicely in the end ;)

Knight: I think many of us will remember Jay's line for quite some time... I feel for him ;)

Thanks for the compliment. I guess I just have a knack for these things. I actually don't find it all that hard to piece them together... well, sometimes it's giving me a problem. Your line was one of the toughest for this one - despite it being just one word.

Tequila Mockingbird: You were never creepy, sweety ;)

About not describing your breasts... I'm so sorry - I was too busy mentally picturing them to remember to actually write it down. It would have been eloquent ;)

R.E.H. said...

Fiwa: Thank You. I just enjoy doing these kind of things - I have a fascination with randomness, and I guess I just have a way of putting random stuff together ;)

I really hope that I will be able to finish this one next month...

Emmeline: You scared me there, I don't like it when I make mistakes ;)

Your comment is from your "Letting My Guard Down" post, which according to your blog is dated Feb 29th... so I got the right one ;)

Thanks for you compliments. It makes me really happy to hear that you enjoy reading these.

Single In The City: Yeah, I was gunning for a little bit of that Agatha Christie feel in this one ;)

Lakota Princess: Oh, I'm sorry. I just got a little excited when you said "butt squeeze" is all. Want another one?

Jo: LOL! Yeah, like I said - I almost feel sorry for Jay - like I should apologize or something... hehe ;)

Fat Tuesday = Mardi Gras! Will I remember that this time???

Farmer*swife said...

Whoooo-hoooo!!! I made it in the story! And, number two stalker too!

Except that I lost by three. Isn't that odd considering how I live in my world? Hmmmmm

And, I coulda' stalked more but I was tied to the threes. Hmpg!

But still I'M A WINNER!!!

Thanks r.e.h.!!!! Hope you had a good Monday for your "last" week!!

Knight said...

I forgot to mention, Leighann's image looks really hot in the award logo.

Also, I'm not a huge fan of "Three Days" as I can't seem to pay attention to the whole thing. I really did enjoy "Morphine Child" though. I wrote a whole comment about it and my internet crashed before I posted it. Oh well.

Sparkling Red said...

Your comment salad stories are my favourite feature on your blog. For some reason it's way more exciting to have one sentence posted here in your story than having my whole own blog, where I can type as much as I like anytime I like. It's a special thing.

Dianne said...

Oh I'm so pleased! In January I just had a little bitty mention at the bottom of the list.

Now I'm up there in the middle of all the cool kids!

And I had dialogue! F'ing A!

I'd ride Persie with ya anytime you'd like my dear, never fear. I'm an excellent elephant tamer ;)

You rock!

Anonymous said...

Oh you're right. I did post that like Friday night at 11 p.m. or something like that. Actually, when I FINISHED the post, it was after midnight, but I backdated so it would read the 29th (which must be why I'm getting confused). I remember very distinctly wanting to have on record that I posted on Leap Day.

Em

PS I notice you use pics on your commenter of the month. If I ever win . . . what will you do? I don't have or use a pic on my blog . . . :/

Anonymous said...

I am getting a head start on all of my comments i need to make sure I get a lot of awards to fill of my new blog section! LOL!

And Plus I am a A actress now thanks to your story.. Considered yourself Stalked And sometimes it could get really messy! LOL!

Single!

Lakota Princess said...

i've decided i wanna be number one commentor next month just so i can bare my butt up at the top of your post. Iz good to have a goal. ~grin~ Be prepared to be stalked like you have nevah evah been stalked before.... ~wicked laugh~

Lakota Princess said...

i'm back! okay - you're not here. leaving again...

Jay Cam said...

i guess it pays to stalk in some cases...

likethestoryalot!

R.E.H. said...

Farmer's Wife: You came on strong during the second half of the month... had you kept that pace up from the start you would've won ;)

Knight: Yeah, Morphine Child is a much better song, I added this one today because that was the one I could come up with that had "three" in the title ;)

I would've loved to have read your comment on Morphine Child though - Savatage really is the best band out there in my opinion.

Sparkling Red: Well, Thank You. Those are some big words ;)

I imagine it must be quite fun for you people to read on and see where you fit into the story...

Dianne: See - it's rewarding to comment over here at Ramblings of a Madman ;)

And, I did struggle a bit with your sentence ;)

Emmeline: Yeah, I don't make mistakes like that... hehe (well, I do - but I get upset when I realize it)

If you were to win the CotM... I'd probably have to just slap a "?" into the center of the award or something... Your name would appear in the bottom half, at least ;)

R.E.H. said...

Single In The City: It's always nice to have you come over, so stalk away ;)

Lakota Princess (x2): You're butt would look good on that award pic!

And... I've been away reading up on umpteen blogs, because I've neglected my reading a couple of days... phew! Done now!

Jay Cam: Imustbetheonlyonewhoendorsesstalking,right?

Glad you liked the story :)

Alli said...

Wow! I have been a bad blogger friend & haven't been commenting like I used. Sorry REH!!!

Hey! I love Jane's Addiction!!!! AWESOME AWESOME! They are Hubby's fav band of all time. :)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

What a brilliant idea, REH: incentivizing comments. You're a first-rate blogger. I'll be watching you.

BTW, it's bullcrap that I didn't get a higher placing. I've been dealing with my car crash bullcrap. Too damn busy.

Karen said...

Freaking awesome story. You put so much effort into these. You are awesome.

Farmer*swife said...

Hmmmm, I might need to change my pic too in expectation of winning next month.

(Cotton is much prettier than grain. Or, I could do my fav "I dream of Jeanie" hair pull-up!")

But, I forgot there was an award. And, I was trying not to look like a stalker [even though, I am at your blog, shhhh, don't tell.]

And, it's the damn three thing. So, if I know I can't post six in total, without fakin' it) then I can't post a 4th, even if I wanna'. It breaks the system of the threes.

Sounds crazy, but I just like boundaries. If you know me, then you know I need my boundaries. They are my system. But, I might have to break them, this time'around ;)

HoosierGirl5 said...

I'm so excited! I'm in 17th place, and I didn't even know there was a contest! I am going to put forth a MUCH greater effort in March - it's my competitive nature! (grin)

Great post. I love the story with all the comments!

J.

Farmer*swife said...

Never fair. Just when I get goin' it's parr thirty by your time. Though, sometimes, it's intriging -- time change and all.

I mean, they are gonna' change our time pretty soon which is good, cuz I don't like waking up at dark (and neither do the kids). But, I also didn't like my son up thinking it was morning already "cuz the sun was coming up" at 5:15 a.m. on a Saturday morning.

The whole time changie thing over here works pretty much well for farming and summer time. Of course, the majority of tractors now have awesome headlights...and, even GPS. Although, I do know of a specific incident where a farm hand left the tractor on GPS, fell asleep and ran across a road and into an electrical post.

Nope, not my guy. But, good joke around town about how "we still need people" and all. Whoop, and expensive fix.

So, boring comment. But, you know -- the time change and all.

Anonymous said...

Hey R.E.H I am a real live stalker now, I am trying to build up my awards also! I am not a blog vet yet!

Oh, and it is a great to have someone like you to stalk, you are green eye Eye candy!!! LOL! I am so brown nosing but it is the truth!

Toodles
Single!

Jahooni said...

i freakin didn't even know that you did this. omgosh, why didn't someone tell me that i could win. i never win at anything and leighann wins everything!!!

i will be stalking at the wee hours so beware!

Jahooni said...

can i leave several comments on one post?

Jahooni said...

could i lure you with cash?

Jahooni said...

how many times did she comment?

Jahooni said...

55 right?

Jahooni said...

does she have anything better to do?

Jahooni said...

isn't she a mother of a herd?

Jahooni said...

she should be busier, or is she a Stay-At-Home Mom? Those are the evil ones... ;)~

Jahooni said...

her head is going to get big.

Jahooni said...

And Jay... let me not even start on Jay. He cheats at Scrabble. Don't play him.

Jahooni said...

how many is this?

Jahooni said...

i am starting to get dizzy.

Jahooni said...

April is a good month for me, i might win next month.

Jahooni said...

how many is this now? shit not enough...

Jahooni said...

okay i have all month right?

Jahooni said...

good.

Jahooni said...

going to bed now... will get up in just a couple hours to start again ;)~

Jahooni said...

wait...

Jahooni said...

nevermind...

Jahooni said...

that damn Leighann!

Anonymous said...

Jahooni! I am going to have to reply for days on out to beat you now! LOL!

I will start on the next post, this one is yours.. allllllllll yours..

Anonymous said...

Oh wait, R did I tell you what sexy eyes you have?

Anonymous said...

incase I did not... yours are very sexy!!! LOL!!!

Ne.

Anonymous said...

Man,I so suck at commenting! Sorry!

I have a busy live that revolves around my kids.What can I say?

Congratulations Leighann!

Lakota Princess said...

~crossing arms and tapping foot~
WTF? Grumbling...
there goes my masterplan. It would be annoying for everyone to scroll through a bazillion noncomments.
Sigh. No ass at top of post for me. ~running off crying~



okay not really. but definitely running off pouting. maybe i'll see if my boys will post my ass on their sites... where there is a will there is a way to get whatcha want.

R.E.H. said...

Alli: You are forgiven. You've got that new job and everything going on in your life right now. Nice to see you pop in every now and then still :)

Lightning Bug's Butt: Thanks. Did you miss these before? You made in into the first one I did in January...

Karen: Thanks. I enjoy giving that effort too ;)

Farmer's Wife: Thinking about changing pics already? ;)

You are taking the power of three's to the max. You're even nuttier than I am ;) LOL!

HoosierGirl5: You've been a good commenter. I'm sure you'll place better than 17th next month!

R.E.H. said...

Farmer's Wife: Yes, we change the time here as well. So you'll still be 7 hours behind when you do ;)

Funny, how I'm always ahead of y'all...

Single In The City: It's nice to have someone like you stalking me too ;)

I'll post more pics of my eyes, if you post more pics of you trying out jeans ;) Fair 'nuff? LOL!

Jahooni (x20): Uhm... here I was waking up checking out the blog, and I was genuinely surprised at the 61 comments - thinking WOW did a whole bunch of lurkers just step out of the dark?

I'm gonna have to come up with a new set of rules to prevent this type of excessive commenting - Sorry ;)

I'm gonna let it slide for this one though - I'm nice like that.

Single In The City (x3): Jahooni really went a little crazy there, didn't she? LOL!

Your nice comments about my eyes might earn you some bonus points though. You're making me feel hot ;)

Preposterous Ponderings: That's ok - I understand that your kids are more important to you than I am... I'm a little hurt and all - but I understand ;)

You still made it into the story, so you did good!

R.E.H. said...

Lakota Princess: Oh, don't feel bad, sweets. There's still a good chance that I will pay special attention to your ass in some way... ;)

Lakota Princess said...

well, okay then. (slightly mollified)

~leaning over for a kiss~
mmmm.... nice.
you can pay attention to my ass anytime.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Wow! Note to self: NEVER,EVER subscribe to the R.E.H.'s comments when Jahooni is in a commenting mood! I woke up this morning to something like 60 new e-mails...half of them came from YOU!!! (laugh)

I like your eyes, too....wait a minute, I've never SEEN your eyes. Is there a picture of you somewhere?

I want kisses, too! How do you do that from WAY over there? (pout)

J.

Dianne said...

I'm getting aroused reading through the comments! Is that wrong?

Tink said...

Crap. I actually DROPPED in rank. This just wont do, REH. It just wont do...

Your search terms are straight up scary. Nun porn?! Man, it sounds like you have a lot of repressed Catholics visiting your blog. Get out the ruler!

Farmer*swife said...

jahooni cheated!!!

Farmer*swife said...

jahoonie cheated again! x 20!!! Not Fair!!!!!

I too was "WOW"ed when I saw 60 something comments...then I saw jahooni (she cheated, you know) LOL

Farmer*swife said...

Hey, does jahoonie realize that she has to spend some time on her blog too? Not just commenting?

Doesn't do any good to win if she doesn't have any good 3rd, 6th, or 9th sentences.

Just checking -- Okay, that's three (6). I just had to get back in the game, there....and make sure you knew she was cheatin'

Tell jahooni I apoligize for being tattle tail. [jahooni and I ((HUG)) and forgive each other for toddler rivalry] LOL!

Elle said...

Boy, man, I wish I could get my shite together to comment more. And I must remember to write more than one word sentences while holding surveillance tapes.

Anonymous said...

hmmm I got some pics of me and my jeans I may have to pull them out! LOL

Single

Newt said...

It's one thing to choke on my coffee once, but damn dude. Too funny............

R.E.H. said...

Lakota Princess: Phew! Good to hear... I was worried my constant staring was going to be a little unsettling ;)

HooseirGirl5: Yeah, I can see how you'd be surprised, hehe - imagine how I felt.

From over here? Well, that's easy - I'll just have to extend my lips ;)

Dianne: Well, that depends on what parts are arousing to you ;)

Tink: Yah, you need to comment more!

The nun porn is particularly disturbing, because I am certain I have never mentioned nuns in my blogging - certainly not in connection with porn... why did my blog pop up in that search?

Farmer's Wife (x3): Well, since I don't have any express rules forbidding spam - she can't yet be accused of cheating...

...she has made me aware that I need to set some strict rules for the future though ;)

R.E.H. said...

Elle: I feel a little sorry for those who end up with single word sentences... but at the same time they can be a blessing for me in trying to piece it together ;)

Single In The City: Oh, please do! ;)

Newt: Glad I could make you choke on your coffee more than once...

...that doesn't sound very nice - well, you know what I mean ;)

Leighann said...

Holy 76 Reactions Batman!

I'm not even going to make the list this time around, am I?

Jahooi, you desperate cheating bitch! LOL

Anonymous said...

Hmm. I'm going to have to try harder this month. This post counts, right? Because it's part of March, right? So the 3 or 4 comments I've made already will count?! Hahaha. I want to win!

Em

R.E.H. said...

Leighann: Oh, I'm sure you'll still make the list, Leighann. If not - I'll put you in anyway, cause I'd miss you if you weren't there ;)

Emmeline: Yes, this comment will count. So far... every comment counts ;)

Leighann said...

Aww R.E.H. you're so sweet. Here.... let me show you my boobs!

Jahooni said...

okay okay okay... i wasn't cheating really, it's just that i had a lot to say.
I didn't know the rules so i get a free pass this time right? ;)~

Anonymous said...

Leighann, I am sorry, I never said congratulations! I feel bad, I am going to your blog now!

oh and this is another comment,keep on counting these up Mr. Green Eye Candy!

Single

R.E.H. said...

Leighann: Mmmm... sweet! Nice boobies!

Jahooni: This time... ;)

Single In The City: Yeah, we need to congratulate Leighann on winning this thing!

And, you keep those compliments coming girl - me like ;)

Lakota Princess said...

Saw 83 comments and had to stop by to pout... and pinch your butt. ~tilting head~ and such a fine butt it is... by the way, if this is like the "suck up to REH" post, i gotta tell ya babe, every picture you have posted of yourself = hot. Just saying.
~puckering up for my evening kiss~

R.E.H. said...

Lakota Princess: Now I'm starting to blush just a little... that's so nice of you to say. Guess my plan of posting half obscured pictures is making you all imagine I'm hot and all... so my plan works ;)

*kissing you goodnight*

Linda and her Surroundings said...

I really should not start reading such a funny blog when I am just about to GO TO BED! Sigh....

Aunt Jackie said...

Wow I need to up the anty some... but still at least I made the list!!! :)

Jill said...

I think some people are trying to win the March edition!

I've been a good girl, today, I've read a long post, what do I get as a reward!
It's always fun to see how you put all of our comment into a story, REH!

R.E.H. said...

Linda And Her Surroundings: Welcome!

I hope the entertainment helped you sleep better at least ;)

Aunt Jackie: Yes, you made it in this month too. You're a loyal reader :)

Jill: Yes, there seems to be a few people who desire to win next month ;)

The reward is the read itself - what? Not good enough for ya? ;)

Jill said...

Yes, but you know I always want more!

R.E.H. said...

Jill: You're never quite satisfied, are you? ;)

Lakota Princess said...

^^^LOL!!!^^^
~giggling~ and no you don't have to count this as a comment - but you can count it as uncontrollable chuckling.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Oh! I can't believe I didn't make it again! I thought I was doing better last month. I read every day -- you'd think I could comment more often. Sigh!

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

P.S. Does this one count for March?

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

What about this one? ;)

Jill said...

Kicking Lakota bubbly butt!

REH, yup for a couple of things!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful story and even greater concept! I'm only bummed that I was tied for 25th place in comments. I'll work on it. Keep up the good work man!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. I'm such a bad friend. ;)

R.E.H. said...

Lakota Princess: Uncontrollable Chukling = 1

Mary P. Jones (x3): Yeah, you need to comment more often - thanks for reading though :)

And the extra comments... well, they sure don't count for November ;)

Jill: Does it jiggle when you slap Lakota's butt cheeks? :P

Fu Manchu Dad: Well, you're a newcomer, so no need to feel bad about the low placing.

Thanks. I'll try to keep it up!

Butterfly Girl: Don't worry about it. You are always welcome here!

Jill said...

Please don't make me laugh today REH! Just got to picture of Lakota ass giggling like jell-O when I kick it!!

R.E.H. said...

Jill: That image is arousing to me ;)