October 29, 2007

Cousins, Beer and Carefree Making Out

It all started out innocently enough... my cousin Ellie's* 30th birthday party. Some of her friends and of course the family all gathered together in a house somewhere in the middle of nowhere... far from the city.

There was food, coffee and the traditional birthday cake, and talk was mild and pleasant. We had some fun and games as well, drawing portraits of one another using our left hand (right hand, if you were left-handed). The one on the left here is of me, drawn by my other cousin Deena, thank you very much. Never knew I looked that much alike Edvard Munch's "The Scream". Maybe she's clairvoyant though, because I'm pretty sure I looked very much like that before the night came to an end...

We have a close family. But, since we don't live in the same city, I don't really see them except for when we have those family get togethers. On those occasions, one rarely notices how they act and behave among friends. Since we don't drink alcohol when we meet (partly because my grandparents never approved of such behaviour, partly because of a history of alcoholism in our family) we haven't often seen that side of one another.

Now, I've partied with my cousins before... Ellie, Deena and Annie on occasion, quite often with cousin Andy who grew up close by me... first time I ever had a beer, he was there too... what a night that was! But, my youngest cousin Aimee... I don't believe I had quite figured it out until recently that she is no longer a little child. Somewhere along the line she's turned 19, and has become quite an attractive young lady.

Well... anyway. Family leaves at 6 PM. Friends arrive at the same time, and coffee and birthday cakes are replaced with bottles of beer, whiskey and vodka. Food becomes bowls of chips and the like. Mild and pleasant chatting is replaced with loud music and deafening laughter and talking.

Party time!

When I drink... I usually start slowly, and as the night progresses my drinking speed escalates. I think it's only an hour into the evening that I'm sitting at a table noticing my youngest cousin (19 years of age, I remind you) with a can of beer held firmly in her hand. I try to understand when and how she grew up so fast... she notices me looking.

"Now, that's something I'm not getting used to any time soon", I tell her, letting my eyes fall down to the can of beer she's holding.

She looks at the beer, takes a mouthful, and laughs it off.

"I'm not a kid anymore", she replies.

"Yes, you are. If you weren't I'd be old", I say.

Thankfully, she does not comment on my age. Lately, I've gotten to the point where I am not comfortable about what my birth-certificate has down as my birth year. I'm still in my early 20's dammit! I'm single... no kids... I must surely still be in my early twenties.

Less than an hour after that I start noticing guys hitting on her. Hold it right there, mister! That's my cousin you're slobbering all over. Birthday girl Ellie notices the same... the two are sisters, but live some distance apart so she's not really used to adulthood Aimee either... she's never seen this side of her sister before.

I start looking for my gloves... my metal studded gloves. Touch her, dammit, and I'll start swinging. You better believe it.

Yet another hour later, I'm starting to be quite intoxicated myself. The half hour to forty-five minutes it took to down a can of beer earlier is now reduced to 15-20 minutes per can. And Aimee is on the couch making out with some 27 year old dude.

Now... I'm an adult, and I can do whatever I damned well please... so just because I'm in love with a girl 10+ years my junior, does not mean she can fool around with some guy older than her... guys like that want to do things she must never, ever indulge in... I cannot even bring myself to writing it down.

"Maybe I should go out there and pry him loose from her lips", I say to the people around me.

"Nah, he's a good enough guy. The other one would've been bad for her though", one of Ellie's friends tell me - one who knows this guy. Another guy had tried to get it on with her earlier that night, but I guess she can tell the jerks from the good ones after all. He was mercifully given the cold shoulder.

I step outside for some fresh air. Of course I can't do anything about the situation I've been witnessing. Cousin Ellie's best friend is outside smoking a cigarette (I don't smoke myself, just went out to breathe some cold air). I have my jacket on, because even after all that beer I can feel the cold outside.

"Isn't that jacket a little big on you?", she notices.

I bought the jacket last winter, paid good money for it too, and now that I lost all that weight... it doesn't fit very well. To hell with it, I can't afford to buy a new jacket every winter... I'll wear it.

"Shit... I think I am a little drunk tonight". She never waits for my response about my over-sized jacket. "I think I need some random, carefree making out". That's how she put it... not my words.

My cousin comes out at that, and starts talking to her. I'm thinking I could use some of the same as she mentioned. Later... that happens.

I'm in the kitchen, jacket still on, and again that jacket comment resurfaces. Now, I'm really drunk and I have a response.

"Yeah, it's big. It's so I can fit you inside of it as well". I open it up, arms outstretched in a welcoming manner. She comes close, wraps her arms around me... and believe it or not, but the jacket reaches around the both of us, and I can even get the zipper closed a little. Not much, maybe an inch. We're very close now, face to face... so I move in for the kill. I'm looking to cash in on some of that random, carefree making out she wanted.

Why choose my cousin's best friend? I mean, really. I have no interest in this girl... I don't even find her very attractive. I don't really like the fact that the few times I've seen her she's been a little too wasted to present herself in a decent manner. But, she was there - ready and willing, and I needed someone/anyone to take my mind off The One for a while.

I felt sorry for cousin Ellie, because now she not only had to worry about her young sister making out with some guy... now I was foolin' around with her best friend as well - right in front of her. It wouldn't matter, except for the fact she knows about me being in love with someone else... so surely she understood that my intentions with her friend were less than noble.

I spoke to Ellie the morning after, and initiated the discussion about Aimee and that guy she was with. Can you believe it?

"Who's talking", she says. "What about you and my best friend? Care to comment on that?". She's not angry... just busting my balls about it.

All in all... it was a great party, well worthy of the terrible hang-over I suffered yesterday. There were girls, lots of beer, good music, broken glass windows**, and many laughs.

I remember another strange conversation that took place in the kitchen (for some reason I found myself hanging out in the kitchen most of the night). Another of Ellie's friends were on the phone with some friend of hers who lives in the same city as I.

"You gotta meet this guy... Yeah, you'd like him. He reminds me a lot of Benny". Laughter. "He's got that same sick sense of humor. He's really goofy".

"Hey...", I'm trying to get her attention. "I'm not goofy".

She looks over to me. Then speaks to the phone.

"He's standing here next to me. 'I'm not goofy', he says". There's more laughter.

"She hot?", I ask pointing my finger at the phone. "How old?"

"He wants to know if you're hot". I'm still being ignored in their conversation. But it's about me, and they're laughing.

"She's a bartender over at This Place. She's 25".

That's the first thing I'm being let in on. And, that's all I need. This Place is one of the most popular spots in the city I live, and I am yet to see a female bartender at that place who isn't above average looking.

"Give me the phone", I say reaching for it.

"Do you wanna talk to him?". She nods, and hands me the phone. I take it.

"Hi there, good looking. Why aren't you here with me?", I speak into the phone. Mind you... I have absolutely no idea who I'm talking to here.

"I don't know", she laughs.

"So, what you been up to tonight?", I ask.

"Been at This Place with some friends. Not working tonight, and I got bored. I'm on my way home now".

It was only 11:30ish at the time. Sounds like a responsible good girl to me, going home to bed early on a Saturday night.

"Wish I could join you... We should get together some time".

Again she's laughing. "Maybe we should".

"I'll have your friend here set it up for us".

Her friend is still listening in, having a good laugh herself.

"Ok... I'll give her back to you now. You go get yourself a good nights sleep, and dream about me ok?".

"Yes, I will. I'll dream sweet dreams about you".

I hand the phone back to her friend... and resume to randomly, carefreely make out with my cousins best friend.

We'll see if that getting together will ever materialize... it could be fun.

* Names used in this story are not their rightful names. But, if I blog about them again in the future, these are the names I'll be using.

**The broken window was the result of two guys showing off how strong they were, pushing each other back and forth, during which one of the guys went through the window... it was that kind of party. No injuries though... but some cleaning up to do. And bills to pay, seeing as the place was rented.


So, the Red Sox are World Champions. Congratulations.

I was trying to watch the deciding game last night, but being hung over made me sleep through most of it. I woke up in time to see Atkins' 2-run homer which made things interesting in the bottom 8th.

Next time I opened my eyes, celebrations were on-going. I had fallen asleep again, missing that moment when the game ends and the players go crazy... That moment I love to see.

Oh, well. Next year I'll be fully awake as the Braves are going to win it. Yes, they are!


Beautifully Profound said...

Holy crap guy. Sounds like a great night. I remember days of drunken tomfoolery as well. Mainly the reason why I quit drinkin'. I hope that date does materialize. You deserve to go out on a date. Anyways yay bosox.

Jay said...

Two things I know about this chick at the party...

She says things like ""I think I need some random, carefree making out"."

and you said about her...

"I don't really like the fact that the few times I've seen her she's been a little too wasted to present herself in a decent manner."

Can I have her number? LOL ;-)

Oh man, the good old days of partying on the weekend. I'm getting old. I'll be 40!!

R.E.H. said...

Beautifully Profound: That is the reason you quit drinking? It is the reason I still do it occasionally... though I stick with the beer these days - can't handle booze. One never knows what may happen if I drink the strong stuff.

I'm hoping that other thing happens as well... but I don't know the girl from the party so I can't get a hold of either one of them. My cousin is in charge of making it happen now.

Jay: You just made me laugh out loud. You want her number? I'll see if I can talk to her about that...

The good old days... I'm no spring chicken myself, and for years this was not part of my life. Lately it seems to happen more and more often... maybe it's some pre-mature mid-life crisis.

Big party next weekend as well...

Guilty Secret said...

Sounds like a good party. I'm glad you left your cousin alone, though. Nineteen is adult whether you like it or not!

So... how old are you? Come on, you can tell us! And how old is the one? Is the age gap really over ten years?

By the way , it cracked me up that your cousin made you look like The Scream!

Tink said...

What's the point of getting drunk at a party when you're single if you can't mack on all the other drunk singles?! I thought that was the unspoken rule. :)

Samantha_K said...

Woooooooohooooooooooo, look at you all makin' out an' shit.

Sounds like a good weekend my friend. Too bad you've got the ladies on lock, I was about to make you my internet boyfriend.

Guilty Secret said...

P.S. Thanks for the link... I added you to my blogroll too :)

R.E.H. said...

Guilty Secret: I know 19 is adult... only I still think of her as... like... seven! :-)

And, yes. I'll be honest. I'm 36, The One is 24. So there's a 12 year difference. She never acted young though. She's got a managers job now and a good education. She's responsible and hard working... I thought she was atleast 27 until we started going to the gym together less than a year ago.

And... hey, Thanks! for adding me to your blogroll :)

Tink: I will tell all the single girls at the next party I go to you said so... I have the lawful right to make out with them :)

Samantha: Oh, we can still fool around, can't we? Nobody needs to know...

Guilty Secret said...

I was 18 when I met Baddie and he thought I was about 22. He was 22 and I thought he was about 30! So, 12 years meant nothing to me when I approached him, but he thought we were the same age... turns out the age gap is 4 and a half years, which I think is *just* enough. Any less and he'd be a baby.

Ok, I'm blabbing now...

(I love how you and Samantha a cyber-flirting. That is so cute!)

R.E.H. said...

Guilty Secret: Yeah, that's the way I look at it. When in love, age is of no importance what so ever... But, maybe it is an issue for her. What do I know.