October 23, 2007

Oh, My... I'm such an idiot!

Ok. I think it's official. If not, I'm making it so. Right here, right now. I am a complete moron...

So, she calls me today. The One. I had decided on not calling her first, so as not to seem too needy or desperate. We all know the games we play (though admittedly I'm no good at them). But, she calls.

She doesn't call without reason though, she needs me to do something for her of course. Some papers left at work that she needs. She also tells me she might come by our store later if she can make it in time. Naturally, I'm hoping she does and I'm looking forward to it - not having seen her since Thursday last week. Feels like ages ago.

So, there I am doing my business working. Actually feeling pretty good about myself as I do, and then about half an hour before closing time I turn around having lifted some heavy boxes... and there she is. Beautiful as always... that's my first thought.

I'm breakin' one of Bottle Blonde's rules here... I'm droning on and on about a girl (but, my defense stands... she's not an ex - no, not this one). So I do apologize to her... but this one might be a good read anyway - in case you like to bask in someone's misery and stupidity.

Then... my second thought;

Who the fuck is that?

Behind her, there is some guy following her. I have not seen this person before. I doubt I'm doing a good job, but I try to slay the green monster and throw him out the window. I look back at her.

"Hey, how are things going?". My lips are stiff - my smile does not come naturally - if at all, how the heck should I know? I've got other things on my mind... that green monster isn't going do die easy today. Not with that dude around. How can she just tip-toe in here with him? Could've at least given me a warning... don't have to go stabbin' me in the heart like that.

"Good. Did you fix that thing with the computer?"

Right. I had promised her when she called earlier I'd do this work-related thing on the computer for her. I hadn't found the time to do it - busy day and all. As if I care... what about that guy you got there?

"Uh... no. Haven't had the time. I will though. Before I go home."

"I can do it myself, now that I'm here", she says and starts walking in the direction of the office. I need to go the same way, so I start to follow... and I can't stop staring at the guy that's with her. Should I punch him in the face? Maybe rip his tongue out of his mouth and tie a noose around his neck?

It's none of my business. Leave it be, mister!

She comments my shirt not being tucked into my pants.

"There are written policies about it, you know. Girls can have their shirts untucked, but guys must have them properly tucked into their pants", and she smiles... oh, my God, she smiles.

She's trying to be cute, funny and adorable - which she is. But, me and the Green Monster are not in the mood... not with that guy around.

"Yeah... there are a lot of things a girl can do that guys can't. I'm going to be a girl today."

Stop! Right! There!

Now, what kind of a moronic line is that? What on earth does it even mean? I just told her I was going to be a girl today... and I do it in front of some dickswab she's brought with her (just to show off to me?).

I scurry off between shelves, pretending to be looking for something. She doesn't follow, but continues her walk to the office.

And, so the walkie talkie we use to communicate at work starts yelling at me. Now they start selling furniture for me to take outside. The last thing I need right now is to meet customers face to face, pasting a fake smile on my face... desperately trying to make their purchase a memorable one... a fondly memorable one (making it memorable would have been no problem... "If you're not happy with my services, sir, I'd be glad to plug your butthole with a linen closet. Now, go on home and slip your wife a fat one.").

As I rid myself of the customers... no fatal mistakes made... I sit down on a crate and think things over.

Alright, R.E.H. Face the music will'ya. She's told you she doesn't love you... there's nothing you can do about it. If that fuckhead is going to make her happy, then you should be happy for her. You need to go in there and talk to her with a big fat smile on your face as if everything is just fine and dandy.

So, I pull myself together and go to the office.

She's gone. Already left. Didn't even stop by to say goodbye. Of course she noticed my reaction - and maybe he did too. Maybe he felt my desire to dismember him - maim him for life.

And that is when it hits me. And if indeed she did notice... and if indeed her brother noticed my threatening gaze... then I may very well have fucked up in a big way today.

That's correct, readers. It was only then that I realized that the guy who was with her is most likely her brother (whom I have never met). At this point I remember the fact that today is Tuesday, and on Tuesday's she goes to dance class with her brother. She had asked me to join her for dance class a couple months ago, but I suck at dancing. A while ago she started going with her brother, because I was too chicken to do it.

I sent her a message on her cell-phone, asking if she got that thing on the computer done. She hasn't responded... so indeed - she must've seen Mr. Jealousy pop out of his shell today.

Now, I have some work to do to regain her trust, I guess.


Beautifully Profound said...

Wow, that's a big fat D'OH. You'll survive though. Well, you must feel a little better , considering she didn't really bring some guy to flaunt in front of you. Anyway, just pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

R.E.H. said...

Beautifully Profound: Yes, it does make me feel better realizing it wasn't some random guy she picked up just to piss me off... but, the feeling of being a schmuck isn't all that much better, I can assure you.

Tink said...

Eh, shit happens. THIS is fixable. If you'd gone off and punched him in the face, not so much. If there's anything I've learned in life, it's that guys react without thinking most times. Hence the *cough* comment about being a girl. She'll get over it. But you should help her get over it quicker by doing something really thoughtful and nice. ;)

Beautifully Profound said...

Ok, I don't mean to be bitchy or anything but it needs to be said. If this girl isn't in love with you, why would you have to work towards anything. Personally, you should work on recovering from loving her and move on with your life. You seem like a really good guy and you deserve a chick who is going to appreciate and love you back. It's going to hurt yes, but the sooner you start the healing process the better you are, because what if that day does come and she decides to move on and you are left behind. It's going to hurt, REALLY hurt. Anyways, I really hope you don't think I'm a bitch for saying what I did, but I've been in your position before and it won't do anyone any good, especially yourself.

Unless you know for sure that there is a really good chance you two are going to get together for real.

well, you take care nonetheless.

Guilty Secret said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

I'd love to catch up on the story of you and "the one" - can you point me to some good posts to catch up?

R.E.H. said...

Tink: Yes, now I know it is fixable. She must've noticed yesterday, but having met her today she sure doesn't act like it. One thing is certain about her... I have never met anyone in my life who is more complicated to deal with. Maybe that is one of the reasons I love her so much... seriously - one of my best friends would attest to that as being a fact.

Beautifully Profound: I know you mean well and all, and I would even agree with you that you are right to say that.

But, as I indicated in my response to Tink above - I have a tendency to fall for women that are complicated. Maybe it's just something about the drama that turns me on.

If it pleases you to know, though. Even though I will always love The One I am on the lookout for someone/anyone who could take my mind off of her for a while. True love? Not likely to happen without her in a long time.

Guilty Secret: I enjoyed your blog, and I'll be sure to stop by ever so often. And, thank you for popping in to mine.

I am a newbie blogger, so there really isn't much to read on our story yet, and I have not really gotten into it from the beginning - rather jumped in to it right where we were. Just so happens that when I started this blog, things between me and her blew up in my face that one drunk night.

Click the link for THE ONE under topics, and that should limit you to a few posts that are about her, and you'd be up to speed on the story.

I'll catch up on yours real soon.

Newt said...

Seeing as advice from a perfect stranger won't help much, I just will say I hope things turn out the way you want them to. Whatever that might be. Or, maybe, that a very pleasant surprise that is also cute runs into you at the grocery store.

Guilty Secret said...

Great... I look forward to catching up :)