December 3, 2007

Hollywood Hotties... Not So Hot?

Don't we all just look at the Hollywood people and gawk at their stunning beauty? Don't we all look at celebrities and wish we were as hot, sexy, beautiful and pretty as they are? Don't we all want these rich and famous beauties to glide underneath the covers of our homely beds at night and join us in their bare naked state of grace?

Well... it's time we started thinking twice about that.

I started thinking about this when I posted that sexy picture of Lindsay Lohan yesterday, and stated my desire that she be here to take care of poor little me as I lay here feeling all sick and under the weather. I posted this beautiful picture of her, and afterwards I come to think of another picture I'd seen of her... you know, from one of those times she was arrested.

Not so hot on that picture, now was she?

So, I'm thinking to myself. Are the Hollywood Hotties really as hot as we think they are? Or is it all just a scheme? Are we just being fooled by the tremendous skill of professional make-up artists and air-brushing techniques on their photos?

Let's have a quick look at some of those sought after Hollywood Hotties:

LINDSAY LOHAN:

Who better to begin with, than the girl who started this thought process in my mind?

Yes, I am re-posting that same image I posted yesterday, though I have now added a small image to the lower right side... is that the girl I wanted by my side? Or would she have made me even sicker than I was?

With no make-up on, and quite a... let's say... dumbfounded look about her - she does not remotely resemble the beautiful, sexy and scantily clad knock-out I posted a picture of yesterday.

This girl has made quite a few headlines over the past year or so, so it doesn't come to a surprise to many that she doesn't always look so stunning...

BRITNEY SPEARS:

And, here is the girl who's making more headlines than most people in Hollywood. She can only be compared to Paris Hilton, when it comes to scandalous reports.

Having taken the entire world by storm, not only because of her music - but because of her beauty... making every teenage girl wanna look just like her...

As you can see on my little "insert" picture there... I sure hope American teenagers do not attempt to look like dear old Britney anymore... that picture is outright scary.

Gives me nightmares to think about how many a time a guy like myself has looked at a picture of this girl... dreaming of how nice it would be to grab hold of her head and... STOP IT! Right there!

MADONNA:

Another girl who every teenager in the world wanted to look like... and I think the majority of them at least managed to take after her style of clothing, was Madonna.

In the 80's you couldn't get bigger than Madonna. She was holier than thou... even the pope would pale in comparison to this hot, HOT, HOT! chick.

While age has taken it's natural course on her, the insert pic there surely must make you seriously doubt she ever had IT.

Oh, boy... and even I used to think she must be the sexiest thing alive. Right now... thank god I never got around to marrying her like I always said I would do... oh, yes! All that I needed was to meet her, and she'd be mine...

SHARON STONE:

When Basic Instinct was launched onto theatres across America in 1992, there was no question who was the hottest Hollywood Hottie of the day. It was Sharon "Parting Legs" Stone.

Every single man who ever went to see that movie left with a massive protrusion in their pants, and quite often a wet spot in the theatre seat. The time I went to see the movie was a different story - my gawking was ruined, and I wasn't even given the pleasure of leaving afterwards with a healthy boner... I may, or may not, tell you guys about that story some time.

I did see her on some interview shortly after the film was shot, where she had not been very successful with her make-up, so I've never been one of those to say that Ms. Stone is a true sex-bomb though.

CAMERON DIAZ:

This girl actually pains me to include in the list. I saw her on Actors Studio a while back, and I think I almost fell in love with her then.

She, of course, wore make-up there - but she seemed so wholesome and natural. Of the girls I picked for this blog, she is, however, the one who's the least ugly on the insert pic... but that's not to say she's a top notch head-spinning hottie.

Pretty darn average looking with a quirky smile...

Cameron is and will always be respected by me for her acting skills, and I will always remember that Actors Studio interview I saw and think of her as a Hollywood Starlet who does not think of herself as a better person than you and me... and she will be beautiful just for that.

So...

What do I want to say by writing this? Do I want to tell you all that they are butt ugly?

No...

I believe that they are good looking, but I believe so are we. The insert pictures chosen here are no more representative of their true looks than the hot stuff pics. I actually had to search for a while to find a picture of Britney's bald head where it wasn't obvious she actually has a very pretty face...

Thing is... We just don't have access (nor the money) to look as hot as they do when they walk on that red carpet. It is time that we allow ourselves to feel good about how we look, and realize we can be just as stunning as the rich and famous...

So, lets take a minute and look at ourselves in the mirror... imagine having Lindsay Lohan's stylist here to fix us all up...

*imagining*

I think I may be the sexiest guy on the planet!

42 comments:

Jay said...

Honestly, as far as mug shots go, Lyndsay's isn't all that bad.

But yeah, when you see pics of them in their "natural" state they aren't nearly as impressive.

Karen said...

I agree. If we all had hair stylist, make up artists and air brushers, we would all be hot all the time.

You put a lot of working into making today's blog special for us. I appreciate that...lol. ;)

R.E.H. said...

Jay: Once you see that picture in larger resolution, it is more apparent how... used... she looks.

Karen: Didn't work too hard on it. I'm reasonably quick photo-shopping images like that... ;)

But, I collected the pictures right after my post yesterday, becasue that's when I decided to do this one today... I had so many things to say about it in my mind - I kind of wish I'd written it yesterday when the idea was fresh ;)

Anonymous said...

I think their stylists need one hell of a raise!

RockDog said...

Their stylists apparently know magic as well!

Kell said...

I think that Cameron Diaz looks really rough. I don't know if she needs to eat a sandwich or lay off whatever is making her look that way. If you watch her in that movie she did with Ewan Macgregor way back when and now? I was shocked to find out how young she is because she looks much older to me.

Saucer of milk, party for one Reow! :)

~Angela~ said...

I'm pretty sure that your "sexy" picture of Lindsay Lohan was taken when she was still jail bait. I saw it at least four years ago.

R.E.H. said...

Preposterous Ponderings: They deserve it... because when their work is done, they're always giving me a 'raise'. ;)

RockDog: So that's their secret? ;)

Kell: Cameron is sweet. Well, she doesn't really have a typical model look or anything, but she's got that contagious smile and those lively eyes.

I don't think she looks older than she is at all...

Angela: Maybe that picture is what first got her into jail... she's criminally hot right there ;)

Dana said...

Thank you! What a refreshing reminder that we can all be more than what we might appear to be.

I always knew I was *HOT* - now where can I find a good air-brusher???

Jay Cam said...

lol and i may be the scariest guy...

thanks for showing me all these hot people.. at least jessica alba wasn't on that list!

Alli said...

I also agree, if we all had stylists & trainers & could walk around airbrushed we'd all look that hot all the time. I actually saw something on the Today show one morning where they showed how they actually slim down some of the people by removing arm fat or cellulite and remove "imperfections." They make eyes bigger, remove freckles, enlarge bewbies, make them tanner (or lighter skinned). It's really sad. No wonder so many people have self image issues.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

you've been tagged. see my most recent post.

Guilty Secret said...

I am always trying to explain this to my dear male friends.

Baddie and I saw Jordan (aka Katie Price - google her) in town a couple of weeks ago and he said, "wow, she's not as good looking in real life..."

My response? "Duh! You seriously think they look like that up close without make-up? Hello?!"

Very eloquently explained, REH.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

oh, i forgot to add, you got tagged because you are the sexiest guy on the planet.

Samantha_K said...

I always knew I was the hottest chick around. Thanks for confirming it.

LOL.

I feel sad for celebrities. They deserve to look like crap on occasion without getting ripped up for it.

g-man said...

Well said in the end. Spooky pictures of real people who given the time and $$ can look fabulous. I saw a you-tube thing once that showed a picture of a large woman photoshopped into a supermodel. It was pretty spectacular.

Sparkling Red said...

I'd never want to be famous. No wonder celebrities get so screwed up.

Anonymous said...

It sickens me how much time and money is invested on them looking like that.

I have less time now than I ever did and I have noticed I am not as glamerous as I once was. It's all in the make-up and the excercise and time. Lots of time.

Newt said...

I love this post! You know just how to make an aging ol cow feel good.

LOL

R.E.H. said...

Dana: Welcome! If I knew where to find'em I wouldn't tell'ya ;) I'd stop posting obscured pictures of me, and let you all be mesmerized by my beauty.

Jay Cam: You're quite scary alright. And, I thought about including Jessica Alba for a while.

Alli: Welcome to my blog. Removing cellulites and what not... if only it were as easy in real life as on picture ;)

Tequila Mockingbird: *scurries off to check it out*

Guilty Secret: I know who Katie Price is... never been an admirer of her, though.

R.E.H. said...

Tequila Mockingbird (again): Oh I am, aren't I? Thank you ;)

Samantha K: That's why you're not on the list - you are always stunning. Airbrushing schmushing... you don't need it ;)

G-Man: I may have to look up that video on YouTube. Could be interesting... did she end up looking all hot and desirable?

Sparkling Red: I want their money, though - screw the fame ;)

Butterfly Girl: And, here I am - barely spending 5 minutes a week to take care of my looks ;)

R.E.H. said...

Newt: Who's the aging old cow? ;)

Loving Annie said...

How I look with no make-up, my hair not done, etc., etc. in a polaroid is frighteneing.

With professionally taken pictures from a former Playboy photographer, the right lighting, the eyelashes and hair extensions, the great clothes, etc., etc. I look totally BEAUTIFUL.

Face it, all the hotties look normal in ordinary circumstances.

Excpet OJ's ex-wife really WAS gorgeous in person. And so is Sylvester Stallone's. Only two women I've ever seen who are mind-blowing in real life.

R.E.H. said...

Loving Annie: And... Kate Hudson! No, seriously - I actually searched high and wide for an ugly picture of Kate, and couldn't find one.

So, when are you going to send me your playboy pics? ;)

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