A while ago, I wrote a letter to 13 Year Old Me, and realized that if that is possible - it is also quite likely that Santa does exist... So, I thought that I'd send him a list of things I want for Christmas.
I know I may be a little late, but at least I don't opt to mail it to him at the post office. Instead, I choose to write to him right here in my blog, where he will have instant access to my wish list. That should give him ample time to acquire my sought after items and other things... gifts aren't limited to material stuff, are they Santa?
So, here is my rather quick and sincere letter to the man in the red suit - bringer of gifts!
Dear Santa!
I'm so sorry for not believing in you all these years. But, everyone I know insisted that you were only make believe. That you were only a figment of the imagination for the kids in the world to enjoy. But, if you are real - here's what I want for Christmas:
1. Hot Girls! Tons of'em. I'm a lovesick little man, Santa. Send me hot girls that want me more than they want their shoes!
2. A new job! Oh, I need a new job so bad. I hate the one I've got right now. Here's what my new job should be like - ridiculously well paid, very few hours, work mostly 1 day per week, 8 months vacation time... and only hot girls employed there.
3. Money! Yes, I want money, money, money!!! If you give me enough of the cash, you can scrap number two off the list - I won't need it. Money will bring me the hot girls as well - but, keep number one on the list anyway - can't get too many of those!
4. A time-machine! I so wanna do Marilyn Monroe... just once! This is clearly not possible unless I have some sort of time travel device. Imagine the possibilities with such a thing... Cleopatra, Joan of Arc... Mary! (become the father of Jesus... would that make me God?)
5. Did I mention hot girls? Well, bring me some of those as well!
6. The One. If you can convince her that I am the man for her, you can scrap the previous five wishes - I won't need'em. For The One... I'd be a one woman man. (Wish number two can stay though... no harm in that one - even if there are hot girls there, I'll just be looking) ... (Oh, wish number three stays at all times. I will need to buy her a lot of lovely gifts - that's gonna cost me a bundle!)
I hope I'm not too late sending this wish list to you, Santa. If you can deliver this to me come Christmas morning, I promise I will not post that picture I've got of you sneaking a peak at that woman showering.
Merry Christmas!
R.E.H.
December 22, 2007
A Letter to Santa
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
16 comments:
You are too funny. I don't know how safe it is actually blackmail Santa. That probably gets you on the naughty list. Also, to the best of knowledge, Santa is not a pimp. But us know if asking of girls works. LOL
The list sounds too small for Santa! You can ask him for a beach house, a convertible, iphone et all(without scrapping #3) Santa has a big heart, egh!
Karen: What? Santa isn't a pimp? I thought he was supposed to bring us what we want, and if hot girls is on my list... he'd better pimp it up! ;)
Joel: I know. There are tons of things I'd like to put on that list... but I didn't want to push my luck!
A man wearing a red suit and styling hat that drives a cool red sled isn't a pimp? Then what the hell is he?
Good luck with your list. I'm sure Santa will get right on it for you.
I heard something about a naughty list and your name in the same breath, but maybe I was confused? If nothing else, I do hope you get wish #6!
if you get wish wishes number 1,2,3,4,5 be sure to send some my way!!
Dude! If you find a chick under your tree that means ya'll been drinkin' too much! Keep her in bed or the tub of jello!
Jay: See... that's what I thought... Santa = Pimp! ;)
Dana: I don't mind being naughty ;)
Well, #6 would really be all that I need.
Jay Cam: Why? Make you own damn list ;)
RockDog: Tub of jello! I forgot the tub of jello on my list!
A man wishing for a ball and chain... what a novel concept. Bizarre, but novel. Combine your wishes by auditioning the "hot chicks" while searching for the one. I assume you want your One to be a hot chick?
Lakota Princess: Hi, and welcome!
The One whom I refer to in this letter is an actual person. I've been blogging about her since the beginning. She is the woman I am in love with... she is (indeed) one Hot Chick, in my eyes ;)
Click the link for Ramblings: The One, if you wish to hear the story I've told about her.
I bet the list hasn't changed much since 13 either: hot girls, money, cool job, time machine. I don't care about the other stuff, but I want Santa to bring me a time machine too. So, hey, big man -- I've been good -- me too on that!
Mary P. Jones I believe, at thirteen, we realize what is important in life and stick to that until the end of our time.
Time machines are cool!
I'm still laughing at #4! You naughty boy!! But then, that would give so much naughty possibilities!!!
Jill: I so wanted that #4... but I guess Santa still don't like naughty boys... didn't get a single one of my wishes... :(
So.....did The big-bellied-man come through for you? Or are you still in the same boat as the rest of us??
I really hoped "the one" would come to her senses and be your gift.
Guess I'll pinch myself and wake up now...:)
TT: No, Santa didn't provide this year either... at least I'm just home after a 2 hour walk with The One which was pleasant... I'm still hoping she will realize what she's missing out on here ;)
Post a Comment