Time for the monthly feature over here at Ramblings Of A madman; 3rd! Posted on the 3rd of each month. This is where we look at the Commenter of the Month award, some fun keyword searches that brought people to my beautiful blog, and the always highly anticipated Monthly Commenter Story.
Now, about the monthly commenter story… first of all – next month I will not base your “qualification” to be part of the story through the number of total comments you leave, but rather on how many separate blog posts you have replied to… so you can’t just go in and leave 20 comments on one post and make the cut… hey, no offense Jahooni – you score high on originality for that one ;)
Speaking of originality… the commenter of the month will not be rewarded to the person who leaves the most comments either. Originality is the name of the game from now on. Comments that evoke any kind of emotion – from laughter to tears to break through stuff. I will keep track of those comments that are not only related to the post of the day, but also has a particularly interesting or funny viewpoint on it.
So… I want quality comments – rather the quantity. Hey! Don’t be ashamed if you comment a lot, I do appreciate that too… I’m just looking to level the playing field a little here, so that those who do not necessarily stalk me every day have an outside chance of winning the title… of course – the more you comment, the more likely it is you hit the jackpot with one of them…
Ok… let’s get on with this months “3rd”.
ONE: COMMENTER OF THE MONTH
No competition this month! No one could threaten winner Farmer’s Wife, as she racked up nearly 100 comments with her quite impressive 96 comments on the month. That’s an average of 3.7 comments per blog post! Single In The City sure put in the effort and finished 2nd with an equally impressive 79 comments, while Naughty Lakota finished only 3rd despite commenting a good 55 times, which ties with last months winning number.
Below, is a list of ALL commenters during the month of March 2008.
WINNER: Farmer's Wife (96)
2nd Place: Single In The City (79)
3rd Place: Naughty Lakota (55)
4th Place: Jill (39)
5th Place: Knight (32)
6th Place: Jahooni (30)
7th Place: Emmeline (28)
8th Place: Jay, Leighann (27)
9th Place: Dianne (26)
10th Place: Dana (25)
11th Place: Sparkling Red, Tequila Mockingbird (23)
12th Place: Unsigned (22)
13th Place: Jo, Karen (20)
14th Place: Casdok (18)
15th Place: Newt (17)
16th Place: TT (16)
17th Place: Butterfly Girl, Fiwa, Guilty Secret (13)
18th Place: Elle, Jen, Joel (11)
19th Place: Tink (10)
20th Place: Fortune Cookies, Jay Cam, Pookie Sixx (9)
21st Place: Mary P. Jones, Mike (8)
22nd Place: Raven (7)
23rd Place: Anndi, Fu Manchu Dad, G-Man, HoosierGirl5 (6)
Not suspected of the Mystery Man murder:
24th Place: Aunt Jackie, Jeff B (5)
25th Place: Cardiogirl, Freakazojd, Lightning Bug's Butt, Melissa, Scarlett (4)
26th Place: Ginormous Boobs, Kcinnova, Liv, Preposterous Ponderings, Spiky Zora Jones, Tookie Tail (3)
27th Place: Akelamalu, Alli, Beautifully Profound, Chatty, Ginni Dee, Jezdez, RockDog, Steph (2)
28th Place: Amy, ~Angela~, Barb Michelen, Chatti Patti, Kim, Lilli & Nevada, Linda And Her Surroundings, Loving Annie, Moo, Random Moments, Reb, SnoopMurph (1)
TWO: KEYWORDS OF THE MONTH
Time to take a look at the search terms that were used on Google and other search engines that brought people to my blog.
Top Searches: "mlb tv"
As the new baseball season was about to begin (has now), the most popular search term which brought people to my blog was that of MLB.TV. I am beginning to wonder if I should give them a call and get paid for advertising their product!
Funny Searches:
“a picture of a glass coke bottle up a 60 year olds arse” – Well, you’re not going to find that here!
“200 orgasms or more per year” – No problem… want me to help you out?
“baby come take a ride with me in this beautiful world” – It is a beautiful world… lets go!
“"boss on vacation" party themes” – Anytime the boss is away, is a good time to party…
“but at the end of the day i love her” – Is she a bitch in the morning?
“come take a ride with a and i be hot go back” – Huh?
“cuddling on sofa with large man” – I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have lost all that weight…
“curious about losing my virginity” – Let me help you out with that one…
“embarrassing photos dudes schlongs” – You know… there is this photo… it is quite embarrassing…
“fuck in multan” – Multan again this month? What’s with this place… calls for some investigation.
“full naked t.t at nun porn” – TT? Do you have something you need to confess?
“how to make a mad man to laugh?” – Write funny search terms on Google, and find your way here…
“i what to know if a mad man lived next to me” – Yeah, that’s quite a frightening prospect…
“if you want to go and take a ride with me, smoking in the back of the” – In back of the what? What to people expect to find writing long search terms like that… and what are they in fact looking for? They got me though… that’s reward enough!
“"japanese mistress" "very hard"” – My most prominent Deadly Sin kicks into gear reading that…
“kick balls nuts girls” – A girl has to be nuts to kick a guy in the balls… or does she have the balls to kick a guy in the nuts?
“locker room stories guys naked dudes schlongs showers” – Wanna go to the gym with me?
“madman in a box” – This is a good one… imagine me popping up like a Jack-in-the-box…
“pics of a random madman” – And you got me…
“picture fat man in sauna” – Sorry, can’t provide that one for you…
“scare my kid about std” – I am offended… should I be set as an example for that?
“scare your friends with weird ramblings” – I would be the man to talk to…
“virginity bottle on cam” – I didn’t know virginity came in a bottle…
“what famous actress captures m&m's heart?” – Do M&M’s have a heart? I can see why they’d want to capture it though… M&M’s are yummy.
Personal Favorite of the Month:
“where do pepsi bottles come from” – Well, this one wins my favorite… I have a twisted mind, and considering the multiple searches for Pepsi bottles that I get – I can officially tell you that they come out of a man’s butt… right? LOL!
THREE: COMMENTER STORY OF THE MONTH
The rules for how to make it into the story will change for next month. Instead of being based on number of total comments, the way to make it in will be through commenting at least once on a given number of different blog posts… I will decide how many later. That means those of you who are loyal readers will be “rewarded” with a starring role in those little stories… even if you don’t want to comment several times per day.
For this month… the rules remain as they were.
Monthly Commenter Story
The monthly commenter story is a fictional story that I will write and post on the 3rd of each month. This story is composed of all the people who have left at least three comments on my blog over the past month. Credit goes to RockDog for inspiring this idea.
RULES (may change slightly each month):
Every person who have commented on my blog at least 6 times during the past month will be included in a fictional story, written by yours truly - R.E.H.
I will go to these people's blogs and copy a single sentence from their final post of the month. It will always be the 9th sentence of that post. If the post has fewer than 9 sentences, I will use sentence number 6, if fewer than that - sentence number 3. If the post were to have less than three sentences – I will take the sentence from the second last post of the month.
The Commenter of the Month will have sentences from the last 3 posts included in my story.
Runner-Up and Third Placed commenters will have sentences from their last 2 posts of the month included.
Once I've collected all your sentences, these will be incorporated into a fictional story.
Sentences MUST be used as dialogue "out of the mouth" of that blogger, and I am not allowed to add other dialogue to that character in the story.
Every sentence MUST be used in the story. I can not skip using one, just because I can't find a good use for it.
Sentences MUST be used completely unedited, except if sentence breaking parenthesis is used, in which case I reserve the right to remove the parenthesis.
Names of the blogger will be linked to their blogs (only where dialogue follows).
If a blogger does not wish to feature in these stories from now on, they must tell me so in a comment, and I will exclude them from my story.
DISCLAIMER:
The events taking place in this story has no resemblance to reality in any form. The actions that fellow bloggers undertake in this story is in no way a reflection of their true selves. The only "real" deal here is that what the blogger says in this story, is what they have written on their blog... but it may be put way out of context of its original meaning.
Put shortly... this is for fun! I have no intention of hurting anyone's feelings, or making them out to be something they are not!
********** THE STORY **********
Inside the locked down warehouse 505 down by the pier, the group of bloggers watched in terror as a shadowy figure approached whom they now referred to as the Mystery Man. All of the bloggers had been called down here by this unknown man, and upon arrival they had found his dead body on the floor. Detective Matthews was in charge of the investigation, and what they all witnessed from the surveillance tapes was true horror.
The shadowy figure reached the screaming Mystery Man, grabbed him by the scalp and pulled his head back, before sinking his teeth into the man’s neck. What had killed him turned out to be a vampire.
Detective Matthews quickly turned to Dr. Swartzmore who turns Mystery Mans head to the side. Two perfectly round puncture wounds are exposed right by the jugular.
Detective Matthews: “I’ll be damned… a Buckingham Palace vampire.”
R.E.H.: “What? What is that?”
Detective Matthews: “Buckingham Palace vampires are a breed of bloodsuckers that hail from the 16th century England. They are particularly vicious and have the ability to turn invisible. It is the only explanation as to why our Mystery Man couldn’t initially see him. There’s no place to hide in here.”
He motions around the room.
Casdok: “Buckingham Palace sinks into decay.”
R.E.H. swallows hard, fear evident in his eyes.
R.E.H.: “Which means the vampire could still be in here… right now?”
Elle nervously starts rummaging through her purse with shaky hands. Detective Matthews gives her a stern look as she produces a small bottle and throws him a dejected glance.
Elle: “Little white bottle for drugs.”
She quickly pops a couple of pills, hoping they will calm her nerves just a little. Jahooni looks on with equal fear in her eyes.
Jahooni: “Wishing um naief could be with us!”
Um Naief was a well known vampire slayer around Blogville.
Detective Matthews: “Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It may not even be a Buckingham Palace vampire we’re dealing with here. There are many kinds of vampires… Transylvanian, who can turn into wolves and bats, and what else?”
Raven: “Then there are vampires like the Bush administration - evil people who suck the blood and soul out of a nation, its constitution, it's economy and it's spirit without a twinge of remorse or conscience.”
Everyone turns to Raven, and seemingly agrees… except for Detective Matthews.
Detective Matthews: “Those kinds of vampires don’t have fangs, do they?”
R.E.H.: “Oh, shit… this all reminds me of that movie. The Vampire Palace. Who was it that starred in that movie again?”
HoosierGirl5: “Harrison Ford.”
Karen: “It was one of those movies that I needed to watch more than once to get the full effect.”
R.E.H.: “Yeah, that was a great movie. It really had you on the edge of the seat… just wanting more!”
Mary P. Jones: “And I know that many of you who have both seen the movie and lived with addiction have told me you've experienced that same resonance.”
Everyone falls silent at that. Knight seems to be thinking hard about something else – possibly to keep her mind off of vampires.
Knight: “Is anyone else watching Rock Of Love II as religiously as I am?”
This catches the attention of Jill who quickly and enthusiastically starts nodding her head.
Jill: “And the episode I just watch have Julian naked...”
Jen: “I'm just sayin'.”
Detective Matthews is getting mighty upset at the lack of respect as we go on talking about movies and television shows. He slams his hands down on the desk.
Detective Matthews: “Listen up! This is serious shit we’re up against. Our dead Mystery Man called you all here for a reason… what reason is that? And, why was he killed by a fucking vampire? Where is that vampire now? Did you all ask yourselves these questions?”
We all stare at him… dumbfounded. No, we had not been thinking about these questions.
Detective Matthews: “None of you claim to know our Mystery Man. But what about that vampire? Do you know him? For all that I know – one of you could be that vampire!”
Silence.
Detective Matthews: “Or maybe you are all sincere… and maybe you just don’t remember knowing them. If he’s a vampire, he may have hypnotized you and erased your memories somehow. To protect himself. Well, let’s find out.”
He slams a large book onto the desk. Joel notices the book and seems to recognize it.
Joel: “This is an interesting book for those who have a lot to say and say it in frustration, leading to arguments.”
Detective Matthews: “Yes, this is an interesting book. Did you read the part about finding out what lay in our deepest subconscious?”
Joel shakes his head.
Detective Matthews: “Well, let’s play a little game… and I’ll have to warn you – this is a bit dangerous and you could end up getting hurt.”
Sparkling Red: “The children of Canada had Elmer the Safety Elephant to give us tips on how to play without getting hurt.”
Anndi: “But from pain comes growth...”
Detective Matthews: “Now, pay attention. This is more like a test – it asks you to fill out a form with various seemingly routine questions. But, what it does is direct your train of thought into the subconscious, and before you know it – you may start to remember things that you cannot access right away. Things hidden deep inside your brains.”
CSI Rodney quickly runs the route around and hands out a stylish looking form, and gives each one of us a fancy gold ballpoint pen. Jay Cam picks up the clearly expensive document and the gold pen.
Jay Cam: “Man, what a waste of money...”
Tink suddenly gets up and asks for permission to leave for work. She figures since the vampire was obviously male that she cannot be a suspect.
Detective Matthews: “And exactly why should you be allowed to go to work?”
Tink: “We're two people short this week.”
Detective Matthews: “You’re going to be three people short today… Now sit down.”
We all begin looking at the forms, pondering the questions. None of us start filling it out immediately, as it seems very confusing. Emmeline is scratching her head, frowning.
Emmeline: “As far as I can tell, I'm supposed to list 5 things you probably don't know about me.”
Detective Matthews: “That is correct.”
At that, Tequila Mockingbird wonders if her blog should be mentioned in the document, and how she got to where she is today with it. If she should mention her time with craigslist.
Detective Matthews: “Sure… write that down!”
Tequila Mockingbird: “However with craigslist, I didnt get to quite take full credit for my posts and eventually they expired so I couldnt share my gems of awesomeness in a long term sense.”
Detective Matthews: “Fine. Write! Don’t talk!”
Tequila Mockingbird resumes writing on her form, enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Single In The City seems to have trouble understanding something she’s reading. Fu Manchu Dad leans over her shoulder to see what is puzzling her. He points at her questionnaire.
Fu Manchu Dad: “That one should be a given, but sadly, in too many places it is not.”
Single In The City: “Blondes are suppose to less educated and they seem to think we are easy.”
She seems a little peeved at him, and he quickly states that he did not mean it like that – he was just trying to be helpful.
Dianne is writing what seems to be a very long paragraph. Then, suddenly she stops and mumbles to herself.
Dianne: “But I digress …”
After about an hour, we have all finished filling out the form. It seemed we had all written about half a novel by the time we were done… nothing revolutionary seemed to have happened though. CSI Rodney collects all the forms, as if we had just finished a term paper in college.
Detective Matthews: “Did you learn anything? Dana?”
Dana: “My life is very much like my dining room - it looks put together and pristine on the outside, but the chaos lies just below the surface.”
R.E.H.: “Well, if your life is anything like that stew you served in that dining room a couple of weeks back, I envy you. How does one make a good stew like that?”
Jay leans forward, offering a bit of his cooking wisdom.
Jay: “When it comes time to make the stew pour just a bit of Olive Oil in the bottom of a big pot that’s been heated up on medium.”
R.E.H.: “My stew always tastes too salty.”
Jo: "But one year I forgot, and added the salt to my own coffee."
R.E.H.: “Huh? What has that got to do with anything?”
Meanwhile, TT notices Farmer’s Wife is trying to flirt with Detective Matthews just as he’s gathered all the forms together in a large pile on the desk.
TT: “She just doesn't.”
But, obviously – she does. Did she just ask him to go to church with him? He seemed to be nodding his head.
Farmer's Wife: “So we can attend Mass either day.”
Again Detective Matthews nods his head, and this time he follows it up by putting his finger in front of his lips in a hush-hush gesture. Farmer’s Wife walks away.
Farmer's Wife: “If so much as a mouse passes wind?”
She always said it like that – as a question – when she meant to be absolutely quiet. Single In The City has noticed Farmer’s Wife’s quite successful flirting attempt with the coveted Detective Matthews and starts waving her hands to get his attention.
Single In The City: “Toddles, Single!”
Detective Matthews doesn’t notice her though… Naughty Lakota has walked up to the desk and is leaning over it, appearing as if she is mighty fascinated by the book that still lies on top of it. It is embarrassingly obvious that she is only doing this to expose her round butt right to his face. She waggles it slowly back and forth, as Detective Matthews looks at it appreciatively.
Detective Matthews: “That’s a mighty fine ass you got there”
He slaps it… and she turns around looking at him with eyes burning with desire.
Naughty Lakota: “Without you my ass can never live up to its fullest potential.”
She walks up to him and moves her hand towards his mid-section, where she grabs a firm grip on his… gun.
Naughty Lakota: “NOT safe for work in even the most liberal environment.”
Then, Guilty Secret looks at me very seriously, and informs me that she could have had Detective Matthews any time she wanted.
R.E.H.: “I bet he knew that.”
Guilty Secret: “What he knew was that I just wasn't feeling it.”
I was feeling very strange. Everyone seemed to be acting weird, and things were not making sense to me… but I went along with it. I listened. I listened as we all started to find things in our subconscious… things we didn’t know were there. We were all rambling from the subconscious with a dazed look on our faces.
Farmer's Wife: “She found the powdered sugar hidden in the bottom crisper drawer of the back up refrigerator.”
Leighann: “It scared her so she started to jog!”
R.E.H.: “That’s not where it started though.”
Detective Matthews has quickly produced a notepad and is writing it all down.
Detective Matthews: “When did you meet him. The Mystery Man.”
Pookie Sixx: “They walked out together and Dad said that the young man was going to come home and spend the night with us.”
G-Man: “That was followed up a bit later with a phone call in which I was invited to join the rest of the team at work to work this problem.”
R.E.H.: “Clarke!”
Some faded memories started to take form somewhere in the back of my head. I didn’t even feel like it was me doing the thinking – as if some outside force was working my brain in ways I didn’t know how.
R.E.H.: “Clarke & Dave. Dave was a vampire.”
Fiwa: “Since the moment they met when Clarke got out of the army, Clarke and Bea have nursed a constant low grade dislike of one another, based I’m sure on a certain jealousy each had of the other’s relationship with Dave.”
As our tortured memories were beginning to unravel, there was something still very important which was eluding us. Something about a fishing trip was at the back of my mind.
R.E.H.: “We went fishing…”
Newt: “And boy did we have a great time.”
Butterfly Girl: “He didn’t, but the little boy standing nearby proudly announced he caught his limit.”
We all understood from Butterfly Girl’s comment that she was referring to Dave. Dave the vampire. He hadn’t had a good time that evening by the fishing lake. And that boy… there was something about that boy she mentioned. It was all coming back to me now. It was all coming back to all of us at the same time. We began telling our stories – from our own perspectives, and as we all spoke incoherently and loudly and at the same time, Detective Matthews could not pick up a single thing of what was being said.
All of a sudden Mike raises his voice loud enough to shut everyone else up.
Mike: “I want those of you who are intolerant asshats to listen closely (I'm looking at you, fundamentalist religious zealots).”
Detective Matthews: “I see my little experiment is working. You’re all starting to remember now, aren’t you? Now we can get to the bottom of this mystery. Fortune Cookies – why don’t you begin…”
We all knew what she was about to tell. We had all been there that day – only our brains had buried those memories deep in the back of our minds, because what had happened that day was so terrifying, neither of us would have remained sane keeping those visions alive.
Fortune Cookies: “See, what had happened was...”
...TO BE CONTINUED (MAYBE...)
53 comments:
These stories always make me laugh so hard I tear up. How do you do it?
by the way “if you want to go and take a ride with me, smoking in the back of the” these are lyrics but they got most of them wrong. It's the song "Must Be The Money" by Nelly.
So we get points for creativity huh? Good to know, good to know.
Congrats Farmer*swife! You certainly deserve it. You watch out for our R.E.H.
Wait no, I take that back. It's called Ride With Me
Wow I went from last months winner to 8th place? How much do I suck?
At least I get to sit on Jays lap in 8th place!
Hey Jay, wanna talk about the first thing that pops up?
I'm proud to have made the top 10, and considering you had 26 posts in March, it looks like I only missed one!
Glad to see you changing the rules ... I like a contest where I have to think!
Poor Jahooni - every time she thinks she's got a winner, someone changes the rules *wink*
The story?? What can I say? These are some of the best writings (IMHO) that you do because you *must* work within some pretty stringent guidelines!
Here's to April!
Loved the story and I really moved up! now I am going to have to really stalk the blog to win!!!
You had to throw that blonde in there! LOL!!! damn no morw blonde on the line you pick from!!!
Smooches Boo!!!
Congrats My Fellow Angel "Rachel" AKA Farmerswife!!!!
Hey, I came in #6! That isn't too bad but I agree with Dana, POOR JAHOONI IS ALL I EVER HERE! And now one must be creative to win the award! You're Killing me Larry.. i mean REH!
Love the story and gosh, thank you thank you thank you, for making my sister the evil vampire. that was GREAT! ;)~
Damn! You are such a story tease! I want to know what happens.
As always, I am totally impressed that you can take a bunch of disjointed comments and coax them into a story.
Knight (x2): I'm happy to hear that they make you laugh. This one caused me more trouble than any of the previous... it was tough on me!
Didn't know that about the song... but why put all that into the search term?
BTW - STELLAR new profile pic! Very Hot!
Leighann: Yeah, you need to up your game ;) Well, it's not about the numbers anymore...
Should I leave you and Jay alone now? ;)
Dana: Yup - you've been a good, loyal reader. The new rules should prove interesting.
It is difficult to put them together, and especially this time as I forced myself into making it a continuation of last months story.
Single In The City (x2): Yeah, it's not about the numbers now you know... it's about quality! ;)
And, the blonde comment was all yours... I had nothing to do with it ;) Cute, though - wasn't it?
Naughty Lakota: Figured you'd like your role in this one, huh? ;)
WHHOOOOOOP! I knew today was my lucky day! I even woke up five minutes after I was supposed to leave the house? And, ended up looking great, great hair day, five mins late to pick up the Mom and...
ten minutes early to her appt. Got a great deal on a new replacement cell phone for her...and the luck goes on!
Whoop for March 3rd! Lucky Day!
But, DH was in bed feeling ill when I arrived home so I have to cook two separate little meals tonight.
I'll be back!!! Barely started reading the story and now, everyone is hungry!!!!
r.e.h. You Rock!! And, I love the new rules too. Some of us have more time now and then than others!
Jahooni: Well, at least you got an honorary mention for your creativity this month ;)
Oh, your sister was the vampire SLAYER... not the evil vampire... that was Dave! ;)
Fiwa: I'm hoping to be able to bring this one to a close with next months story... we'll see how that goes ;)
It is actually a lot of fun trying to piece it together... frustrating... but fun!
Farmer*s Wife: Today IS your lucky day! You have worked hard to earn this award!
I'm a few hours ahead of you so I'm hitting the hay... almost 1AM here now... I gotta get my butt in bed earlier!
See ya tomorrow!
not suspected of murder? oh, right... because i was on the treadmill at 5 am.
ooooh - i missed my goodnight kiss.
~sad sigh~
hope you don't mind but tomorrow i'm going to post a big arrow directing my readers over here to see your creative brilliance. I think Ozy and Paul especially will get a kick out of this.
Sleep well handsome. xxoo
You, r.e.h. are incredible (okay, maybe I appreciate the story a little more because I had three lines...but still).
Anyhow, as I was reading this fantubu-tre en-tre you collected and collaborated for us today I rememembered...
I was hit by this great idea (for you). I little idea you could do (anywhere, any town, any country) to provide some side-line cash. (Something that you just never thought of to use in this way).
Or it might could be more(than side-line cash)...because you could "patten" the idea and process and then "sell it" to other providers (with readers).
Did I get you interested?
I don't know how to get it to you without giving the rest of the world the same idea...but, I know you have the talent and witt!
(See how I'm always thinking??? I'm getting close on my own craftie thingie too...always...thinking)
It's a brain storm. But with your literary creative outlet...SO piece of cake. And, you could take my "scramble" and totally flow it into something...
I feel pretty good coming in 26th...robably because I didn't even know I was competing for anything...SCORE
8th out of 28 is about what I did in school so I'm comfortable there.
I love these comment stories. What do you mean MAYBE??
You rocked this, I love where you took the story! But damn, a whole month before we get another bite. Hey, if you get gory, I wouldn't be offended if you had me killed off in the story, just make sure I look hot as it's happening...no he pulls Jo's face off :P
I like that you have changed your comment contest qualifier. I like the idea of going for "quality." Although, as Stalin once said "quantity has it's own quality."
You wrote:
"Originality is the name of the game from now on. Comments that evoke any kind of emotion – from laughter to tears to break through stuff."
Just to be clear - when you say emotion are you referring to your emotions - or other bloggers as well? I tend to anger up to half a dozen people with one comment and anger is an emotion...
Re: Originality
I do have an "original idea" for your contest. I think it would be kind of cool if you say who's comment from the previous post created the strongest emotion - and what your emotion was.
Just list the name of the commenter and the emotion/reaction. I'm always interested in knowing who pressed what buttons. Or not... It's your contest.
I like this new twist. I think it would be awesome if someone's comment caused you to have a breakthrough moment. You need one like the middle east needs peace.
Just so you know many sources list irritation, agitation, and annoyance as emotions. Just thought I'd mention that to safeguard my interests.
Since this contest is about emotions does that make us all EMO? If so let me know and I'll start cutting myself.
I wonder how many people would be annoyed if I managed to somehow win?
tt Made me laugh in "commentary" to tt's comment!
Then, I kept reading. Ooooohhhh, I shouldn't a'done that.
Uh-Oh....I'm getting drawn in. I think I will in the future either:
a) avoid reading the commenters that tick off my tock...or,
b)post my "aggressively, aggitated, occassionally flippantly angered and over-protective bloggie comments" to my own blog (as to spare the readers of r.e.h. my craptastic, frustrated, ANGEL bag of "schwaka-Taka!!!!")
(Yea, little asian martial arts in my past)
Gotta' recap a quote from a "previous" comment: Just list the name of the commenter and the emotion/reaction. I'm always interested in knowing who pressed what buttons.
Hmmmmmmm....so who is looking for attention and who has all the answers? (Don't I love to tip a heated pot?)
ANGELS? Be Ready!
lakota bring the...um...those protective weapony toy thingies...
jayBe prepared with your cynicism because we might need a whole wonderful 28oz can and you are the best one to provide it.
r.e.h. The troops are summoned. Let the emotions (and suck-ass judgements) flow!!!
WONDER-BLOGGIES? ACTIVATE!!! LOL!!!
REH, you are freaking awesome. I swear. Amazing.
Wow what a post!! And quality too!!
~giggling at Farmer'sWife~
I may need to start invading her space with my brand of hellraising. What a party we could throw. ~yum~
REH - will you tend the bar... nekkid of course...
~morning kiss please...mmmmm... nice~
Liv: Yup - and the treadmill has accounted for your whereabouts at the time of the murder ;)
Naughty Lakota: Free advertisement? I'm outraged! ;) Of course not... new readers are always welcome. Hey! That earns you a bonus kiss - how about that?
Farmer*s Wife: A money making opportunity? Now, I am intrigued...
Ginormous Boobs: You did well, considering you're a new reader. Next month you'll be right up there among the best, right?
Jay: 8th is a good placing - it has gotten real tough to get in the top three.
Maybe... well, that depends on whether or not I can possibly continue the story with the lines that I get next month...
TT: An internal battle going on there too ;) You need to up your stalking... oh - but numbers don't count any more!
I've been just counting them manually up until now... I'm thinking of doing something to make it easier... like an excel document or something...
Jo: Oh, I'm not sure I would feel so good about killing you off in the story... but it's good to know I have your permission should the story require a bit of a kill-count!
Glad you enjoyed the read!
Unsigned: Your idea there pretty much is exactly what I intended. The Commenter of the Month award will go to the one with the best comment, and yes - I will account for my thoughts behind the choice...
Now... you need to start blogging, because I can't put you in the story if you don't have any posts I can steal a line from ;)
Farmer*s Wife: Well, you know, comments to other commenters are not going to be considered for comment of the month ;) As much as I enjoy my own personal Angels!
Karen: Thank You - that's some big praise! :) And here I was, thinking people were going to hate this months story!
Casdok: Thanks! I'm pleased to hear you liked it.
Naughty Lakota: What other way is there to tend a bar but(t) naked? Of course I will - and lets make it a glass counter, so y'all can see through it... or, on second thought, lets not! ;)
Virginity in a bottle, huh? So THAT'S how Madonna did it. Great search terms and story, REH. Happy Friday!
I just went back and noticed something. I was in 16th place w/ 16 comments! That's kinda cool yes? In tt's world it is anyway. And btw...I'm not confessing to anything!! Me? porn?? ummm...nope, I'm not comfessing!!!;)Just because my profession is a 'beck and call girl'...ummm...nope, still not gonna confess. :)
How in heavens name are you going to find a job with all this wonderful writing?
Do you think maybe you should be a screen writer instead of an actor?
Should I leave you and Jay alone now? ;)
Why leave us alone when you could join in??
I don't know why I keep coming back to read the comments. Well, yes I do. Farmer*swife cracks me up and I have to know when my Angel duties are called upon. Also, coming in 5th place has proved I'm not stalking up to par. I'll work on that ;)
wow, i've really slipped in my stalking of you. sucks. i guess i need to step up my game.
good job on the story though!
Wow good job!! This is really my first time back since my trip and moving expeditions. What a great day to return to the blog world! Great story. I do hope it continues because you've left a great cliffhanger! :)
Em
I never looked at it from this perspective before: Elmer the Safety Elephant is stunting the emotional growth of Canadian Children! This is terrible!
I'm off to write a letter of protest to the government, stat!
I love my position, I think it's the same as last month BUT I am right under the Jay/Leighann duo with Dana right under me. It's all quite cozy.
Love the story. It freakin' figures that I'd be digressin' and mumblin' to myself during a murder investigation. And Raven's line killed me - "they all seemingly agreed"
It's all just so good. I adore you.
Tink: It was either Madonna or Christina Aguillera who must've come up with it... she did that song "Genie in a bottle", right?
TT: Ok then... you're innocent... aren't all nuns innocent? ;)
Butterfly Girl: Oh, I'm a screenwriter/director first - actor second. Hopefully I can get a job where I can use this... "talent".
Leighann: Oh, I didn't know I was allowed ;)
Knight: Yeah, I got Farmer*s Wife helping out drawing readers to my blog... she certainly deserves the award for that alone.
You're doing a good job of stalking ;)
Tequila Mockingbird: Yeah, I'm beginning to worry that you don't love me anymore!
Right, I know - I shouldn't talk...
Emmeline: I hope everything went well with the moving and all, and that you're settling into your new home. Can't wait to see you get back to posting, though ;)
Glad you liked the story, and I hope I'll be able to continue it next month...
Sparkling Red. You should do that... kinds need pain to grow! ;)
Your line was a tough one to get in there... I'll tell you that!
Dianne: You're in good company there between Jay, Leighann and Dana!
And that "digress" line was one of the toughest of this month... not easy to digress when you can't say anything BUT that line.
Leighann: Oh, I didn't know I was allowed ;)
Of course you are! Especially since I'll be more capable of showing you originality, therefore upping my chances at a bigger part in next months story!
Hey! The asshats had to listen closely to ME, not to fortune cookies.
!!!!
Awesome.
I'm going to be even more offensive from now on to give you better fodder.
Towards the end of the month.
Oh, I just love these things! And I'm so happy I made it in this month!
I've got a humdinger of a post for you now. Go check it out! I think you'll like my new subject matter. :)
Em
Leighann: Now, I'm all for originality... especially in the bedroom ;)
Mike: Yeah, Detective Matthews is a disrespectful S.o.B.! ;)
Mary P. Jones: This month you made it in there... good work!
Emmeline: OOooohh! I hope it's the sex one!
I have been horrible!! Sorry about that. I deserve worse than 24th place! I have to do better... I will.
Been a hard few days.
Aunt Jackie: I don't know if horrible is quite the word... but, yeah - I've missed you around here! ;)
Shoot, only 6 comments in the whole month! I have GOT to do better in April. At least I made the story!
J.
nah, i still heart you immensely.. but i do feel a little neglected sometimes... *ahem*
HoosierGirl5: Yup. You GOT to do BETTER! ;)
Tequila Mockingbird: I know... I'm sorry - I'm terrible!
Will come to read how you put those ones together this month, I'm too tired to read it up tonight!
Jill: I hope it will entertain you ;)
Well, I only read the first part and had a couple of laughts...
Imagine it, if children will ask us instead of "where does babies comes from" they will ask :"Mom/Dad, where does Pepsi bottles come from?"
Since I had my 15 minutes of internet I'm off, I will come to finish this tomorrow!
Jill: I would rather answer the babies question, though! ;)
Damn - you got the 15 minute restriction too? ;)
NOw, you made me realise that I miss visiting your blog! Been missing this the last two weeks!
Thanks for making me realise that!:P Would you come and make it all better?
Jill: It warms my heart to know that you long for me ;)
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