November 25, 2007

Funday Sunday: "Sauna"

Found this funny Swedish commercial, as I thought what should I post for Funday Sunday today? I have just returned home from the gym, and spent a good 20 minutes in the sauna after my work out. I gotta tell you, I love to swelter in a steaming hot sauna.

I wish I could top this off with some funny sauna moments that I have experienced myself, but actually I have never had an embarrassing or otherwise laughable situation in the sauna.

I suspect at one time I interrupted some weirdo while he was yanking his wiener. That's not funny.

I once suffered from penis envy... a guy in there had a freakin' monster between his legs - I am not interested in looking at another man's genitals. But, this one was just the kind of thing where I had to sneak a peek, in order to determine whether, in fact, that thing was real or not.

Another time... recently... I damn near got 2nd degree burns on my hand as I scooped some water onto the rocks, and the steam rose up while I had my hand a little too close.

I think the one time things could've gotten embarrassing (and funny), though I was spared the humiliation of someone entering at that particular time, would be this:

I carry the key to my locker with me as I go inside. I know that by the time I am ready to exit the sauna, the key is going to be damn hot when I grab it, so I do so with caution and wrap it into the towel. This time, I burnt my fingers, dropped the key and it went down between the wooden boards and all the way to the floor beneath. The only way to retrieve the thing was by kneeling down, putting my ass high up in the air - butt naked - and crawl underneath with half my body. As I was fishing for the key, I was absolutely terrified someone would open the door. What they would have seen would've been me on my hands and knees, my bare naked ass glaring at them, while the rest of me would be hidden underneath the seats.

I was spared that embarrassing moment... and now I've just told you people about it. Duh! Way to go, R.E.H.!


Guilty Secret said...

At my gym people wear swimsuits in the sauna!

Beautifully Profound said...

I wasn't aware that you are supposed to be naked at the sauna.:-| Ditto secret. But when I do go to the "gym" it's usually the Y so I would imagine there is a prerequisite for some sort of clothes.

Anonymous said...

If you ask me I think it would have been a damn pretty site to walk in on!

R.E.H. said...

Guilty Secret: Nah, the only way to be in the sauna is au naturelle!

Beautifully Profound: At the gym I frequent, the sauna is located right next to the showers. So one heads straight from an initial shower into the sauna. Some people do choose to keep their towels wrapped around their waist, but to me that doesn't seem like a good option. The towel would be soaked in sweat, and thus not very useful after I take the shower.

Preposterous Ponderings: Clearly... you have not had a good look at my ass ;)

Newt said...

ya know, that was one of those mental images I didn't mind having.

R.E.H. said...

Newt: I repeat what I told Preposterous Ponderings... you haven't seen what it looks like in the... ahem... flesh. It might have scarred you for life! ;)

RockDog said...

I have no funny sauna stories...damn! I tried it once, but a room full of steam and extreme heat is really no place for a fat guy. I went to the buffet instead...

Jay Cam said...

lol i always found saunas a little creepy! i always prefered playing football in parking lots.

i fear the "weird" guys in the saunas.

Loving Annie said...

Good Sunday afternoon to you, R.E.H. !

Funny sauna story !

Big is nice.
Freaking monster is just painful/uncomfortable/a waste of time... and nothing to be jealous of. Just my 2 cents :)

Jen said...

Loving Annie said it for me with regards to a big freakin' monster of a schlong. . .

I'm just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

I worry about the same thing only it's my kids, especially the older ones, walking in while I am cleaning the tub. I do this naked 75% of the time. I start out cleaning the tub part and then I turn on the shower and climb in. It would be mighty funny for some but like you said, scarred for life for others!

Don't sweat the small stuff! Pun intended.

R.E.H. said...

Rockdog: Plenty of fat people go to the sauna... just don't go to a buffet before going in a sauna... farting is not recommended in there. ;)

Jay Cam: You could go in the sauna after playing football.

Not too many weird guys in saunas... except me, of course.

Loving Annie: Well, your 2 cents just bought my love ;)

Jen: You should've seen that thin... I was afraid it would attack someone. He should have kept in on a leash.

Butterfly Girl: Just don't forget to lock the door when you clean the tub.

And... how can I not sweat it when in the sauna? ;)

Samantha_K said...

I'm glad no one walked in on you. I would have hated for you to have been taken advantage of. Especially if it was the um...well endowed guy.
Could have made going to the gym slightly uncomfortable, lol.

g-man said...

I have only been in the sauna a few times, no good stories there. But there were a couple of dudes back in my army days that had huge trowser snakes and were more than happy to show them off. (one dude used to chase around the younger guys while twirling it and yelling "Airplane ride!" )

Glad you were not em- bare -assed ;) (or were you?)

fiwa said...

ack - I could not sit in the sauna nekkid. I wouldn't be able to relax. The thought of you, ass up in the air, trying to find that key tickled the life out of me. That's exactly the kind of situation I would get myself into.

R.E.H. said...

Samantha K: And you just had to give me THAT image, did you!

Are there male chastity belts? I'm getting one! Right now! Never going to the gym again without it!

G-Man: That reminds me of an old buddy of mine who pulled the airplane ride stunt at a party in front of all the girls. He was really drunk, and when I told him about it the next day he was like:

"Nooo WAAAAYYY, dude!!! I didn't do THAT!"

Fiwa: Yeah, I'm good at getting myself into some awkward positions... hmmm :)