November 5, 2007

The jealousy game... and breakfast

One of my female co-workers start pulling at my arm with great strength. I steel myself against her, remaining seated in my chair.

"C'mon... dance with me!"

She's had plenty to drink and she's having a really good time.

"You know I don't dance."

I am a terrible dancer, and I've never felt very comfortable on the dance-floor. That is a shame, because there are times I wish I could strut my stuff to impress the ladies - because it seems such a good place to pick them up... if you know what I mean.

She keeps tugging at my arm, and reluctantly I get up and follow her to the dance-floor. She immediately starts dancing very close to me. She's sexing me up here, and I immediately start thinking; Ok... what is going on here?

She starts rubbing herself against me, and her arms lace around my neck pulling me close to her. Then, she proceeds to kissing me on the neck all the while making suggestive movements with her hips. Then - she whispers (well, more like yells seeing as the music is loud) into my ear.

"If this doesn't get her attention, I don't know what is wrong with her".

Oh... I get it... Yup, I wasn't born yesterday.

Back at the table where I was seated so comfortably on a chair, The One is talking to another one of our female co-workers. She definitely was noticing me on the dance-floor. I couldn't tell though if there was any reaction.

My co-worker chick starts making out with me - our lips meet, and she thrusts her tongue into my mouth. She's an attractive chick too, so I... ahem... play along.

"I don't give a damn what you say... I'm gonna make sure she knows you are a desirable man. Maybe then she'll come around for you...", she says as we continue to dance sexy (well, she's sexy - I probably look like I don't know where I am or where I belong).

The very wise and witty Jay (aka Cynical Bastard), in a comment the other day suggested I have someone repeatedly calling me on the cellphone to see if The One would start asking questions. I loved that idea - but this was even better... And, maybe it did work to some extent - because The One didn't ignore me that night. She didn't come seeking my love and affection either, but she was friendly and didn't give me any of that shit she's been giving me when we've partied the last couple of times.

I had made up my mind early on that I wouldn't be chasing after The One during this party. No way was she going to stand in the way of me having some fun this night. There was plenty of good looking girls at the place to keep me busy for hours on end.

I started early down that path, as we were seated for dinner when we first got to the party. A stunningly attractive blond was sitting a little to the left on the opposite side of the table. The One was seated right beside me on the left side as well. I spoke normally to The One, and threw a couple of compliments at the hot blond across the table. She was already quite tipsy, and giggled a little as I did.

That was how I planned to be that evening. Not being rude or anything against The One, but to simply behave as if we are friends, and nothing more - the way she wants it to be, as she says. So, if I wanted to flirt with someone, you better believe I had every intention of doing just that.

We were getting very drunk toward the end of the party, and now we wanted to continue to party at the hotel. Only four of us had the stomach to keep on rocking as it was getting very late. I think the bus we took back to the hotel arrived at 2 AM. The One was one of them. She and the other girl from work bailed out on the partying however, and that left only me and a male co-worker.

I honestly don't remember if this other girl from out-of-town was with us from the start, or if we met her downstairs when my co-worker and I went for a smoke outside. What I do know is that she became the victim of the most embarrassing pick-up attempt I have ever witnessed.

We're sitting in the hotel lobby. Me, my co-worker, the Out-Of-Town Chick and Mr. Pick-Up Lines.

"You're just trying to get me into your room", she is very clear that she's not interested.

"Yeah... why don't you?". He's laid back in a lounge chair, thinking he's all that.

"'Cause you're a freakin' moron"

"I'm a smooth player", he says.

"Yeah, right"

Now, I'm starting to laugh sitting right next to the guy. He throws me a glance, but keeps it up - and whatever it was that got me to the point of laughter, was just about to become even funnier. The Out-Of-Town Chick is wearing a rather short skirt. Her legs show a lot of skin - there's a small scar below her right knee. I'm trying to divert the conversation before she is too bored with the guy and leaves... I was kind of hoping to get lucky myself...

"What's with the scar?"

She seems relieved to get the opportunity for a normal conversation. But, isn't allowed to get into that.

"Those legs...", Mr. Pick-Up Lines speaks up. "Look at those legs".

She sighs. He continues to just point at her legs.

"What about her legs", my other co-worker asks him. He too is having fun with this.

"Hrmph... wha? I'll just throw them aside", and he motions with his hands to emphasize.

"You gonna throw her legs aside?", I ask. And then I begin laughing hard again. She's rolling her eyes at him, beginning to be very annoyed.

Mr. Pick-Up Lines suddenly starts talking about something else.

"I thought I had those pills with me, but I can't find them", he says. "See... I got those 2 dollar Viagra pills."

This guy is not even 30 years old. I can't for the life of it figure out why he would want Viagra, and I don't think I want to know either.

"You don't get any Viagra for 2 dollars", my co-worker tells him. I'm too busy laughing.

"No, I got these... I don't know... from fucking Asia or summin. Fucking keeps your boner for hours man! Good for me and for her", and he points at the Out-Of-Town Chick again.

Needless to say, this guy went back to his hotel-room without her. She went with me and my co-worker upstairs. I tried a little to lure her into my room, but with the events downstairs I kind of knew it would be hard. Couldn't come on too strong now, and she was tired and wanted to get some sleep.

Time was late, or early I should say. Me and my co-worker went to my room, and we talked for a couple of hours... a chat I may or may not speak of in this blog later this week.

I started thinking of how I was going to drive home on Sunday.

"We should get some sleep, dude. What time is it?", I ask him.

"Six thirty", he looks up a little surprised. "Six thirty man. Breakfast is served downstairs"

"I need some sleep dude. Gotta drive in the morning"

"Let's have breakfast first!"

"Ok", and so we went downstairs to the restaurant, both of us with a bottle of beer in our hands. I ate bacon and eggs, burnt toast, orange juice and washed it all down with some more beer.

Hit the sack at around 7:30 AM, and was awakened by The One knocking on my door at 9:45. When I saw her, I thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world. I also thought; Damn, I wish the Out-Of-Town Chick had spent the night in my room.

Wonder how she would've reacted to that?

The picture? Yes, that is me during the final hours of the party.


Beautifully Profound said...

Glad you had a really good time. You're right to have acted like you and "the one" are friends because that's how she wants it and that's how you should act.

But anyways, you don't look too hammered in the picture. Just a little word of friendly advice. Do yourself justice and get some smaller clothes. You lost weight, show your new arse off! I know you're cheap and all ( I am totally cheap too! No other way to shop but cheap), but it doesn't pay to look like a hobo. I've been told that many a time. Don't take offense to that, and you don't look like a hobo in that picture, just it made me think of the jacket and the girl situation.

Take care!

Jay said...

Damn .. first the party with the random make out chick and now this? I really think I need to come party with you. I'll just take your cast offs. LOL

Samantha_K said...

Ah, so we have commenced with the playing of the games have we?
Let us know how that works for you...

We female types hate competition, so you're actually on the (semi)right track...Just don't knock anyone up, mkay?

R.E.H. said...

Beautifull Profound: I'm buying new clothes... just I can't afford to update my entire wardrobe at once. One piece of clothing at a time is how I'll go. Jacket and Suit are way down in the pecking order.

Oh... and I was most definitely hammered when that photo was taken :)

Jay: You're welcome to party with me anytime Jay, and you don't have to settle for my cast offs... there's plenty more served that I haven't touched :)

Samantha K: I will keep you updated. And I truly hope I don't knock some poor girl up.

Oh... and girls don't like the competition, huh? Well, how does it make you feel?

Tink said...

Out of town chick was a lesbian, duh. How else could she have resisted your charm? ;)

R.E.H. said...

Tink: Well, I didn't put much effort into it :) She kinda looked like she was more interested in sleep than in some sweet lovin'.

But... I hope to God by your statement you're not mistaking me for Mr. Pick-Up-Lines? :o

Guilty Secret said...

Wow, sounds like you had a great time. Ugh, why can't The One stop being so beautiful? I'm sure that would make things easier!

R.E.H. said...

Guilty Secret: It would certainly make things easier if she wasn't so beautiful for sure. I can say to myself "screw her! gotta move on!" when she's not around - but as soon as I see her...