Sleep Is Overrated

Sleep is Overrated.

This is my favorite leisure sweater. You know, the kind of sweater you pull over your head to wear on cold winter nights at home, when other people are spared the luxury of seeing you dressed improperly, comfortably and (yes!) leisurely.

I am wearing it now... sitting here in front of the computer writing this blog.

It is representative of me, which is why I like it so much. It isn't necessarily the comfiest sweater I have, but it is comfy enough, and it spells out what I would like to be true, but have proven over and over again is (in fact) not true...

SLEEP IS OVERRATED

Yeah right!

I get to bed at around 1AM on workdays. Now, I don't have a job where I need to be at work at 6AM or anything... I usually don't start until 9:30, so I can sleep in the mornings a bit. Sometimes I have to be in at 8AM, so that takes another 1 and a half hours off my nightly Z's. I also like to have plenty of time in the morning to get ready.

First off, I want to spend about 45 minutes half asleep in the bed listening to the radio. That is the only time I ever listen to the radio to keep me somewhat updated on what modern music sounds like, and to be able to at least every once in a while butt in on musical conversations my friends and co-workers indulge in.

After that, I want to take a shower. I simply am not awake until I have had my shower in the morning. Any day I oversleep, and have to skip the shower in order to be on time, the whole day is a complete disaster.

After the shower, of course, I get dressed. This is done quickly. I am not a person who will go through my wardrobe umpteen times to figure out what to wear on any given day. I'll just stick my hand into the closet, grab something and wear whatever follows my arm out of it.

Then, I want some breakfast... on work-days. If I have the day off... screw breakfast - I'm going straight for the coffee pot.

This all sums up to the fact that I need to set the alarm at least one and a half hours before I need to be at work. Just to be safe I like to add another half hour, in case I am really tired in the morning and as a result move more slowly, and lie in bed listening to the radio a little longer than 45 minutes... you know - like an hour fifteen.

Ok... so I start working at 9:30, I need to set the alarm 2 hours before that... that's 7:30, and I get to bed at 1AM (at best)... that's six and a half hours worth of sleep.

Uh, Uh! No it's not... we forgot one important variable in the equation.

It always takes me 1-2 hours to fall asleep after my head hits the pillow. This is my day-dreaming time (night-dreaming?). This is when I concoct amazing fantasies and live in a perfect world - this is where I ponder the events of the day - this is where I try to figure out how to make The One fall in love with me - this is where I become frustrated at my inability to sleep - and this is where I lie thinking I should see a doctor about my insomnia because my life is getting screwed up because of a lack of shut-eye.

So, what did we have? Yes, six and a half hours worth of sleep - take that minus, on average, 1 and a half hours (the time I lie and ponder, fantasize and curse myself). We are now down to 5 hours of sleep at night. 3 and a half hours on those days when I start working at 8AM.

Sleep is overrated, huh?

No, I cannot fully function on this kind of sleep. Used to be I would take one or two nights a week and get to bed at like 8PM and catch up a little. That doesn't work any more, as I've found every time I attempt that little stunt, my biological clock wakes me up at around 1AM and I'm unable to sleep for the next 3 to 4 hours. Then I end up falling asleep at around 5AM and my alarm goes off at 7:30, and I will feel like I've only slept those 2 and a half hours.

I still love that sweater though!